


Black Sugar

by imessedupmylastone



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gallavich, Ian makes some poor decisions, Iggy is an angel, Its domestic and scary, Multi, Murder Mystery, Theres alot of emotions, mafia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-11-07 02:55:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 45,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11049834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imessedupmylastone/pseuds/imessedupmylastone
Summary: "Some guy tackled me... said he wanted someone I know dead. I... don't.... I don't know who he meant. M-something. Milk-""Milkovich?"-Ian is a worker for the local coffee shop, and takes flirting very seriously. Unfortunately when the wrong people see him flirt with the wrong boy, they get the wrong idea. Now Ian finds himself trapped in a web of mafia activity and a bunch of murders with an unknown perpetrator. On top of all that, his new safe keeper, and known mafia leader, Mickey Milkovich, seems to hate his guts. Still, Mickey already saved him more than once on their journey to discover who's attacking the Milkovich name.





	1. 1.

**Author's Note:**

> “So, I do my best impression of a surgeon, cutting purple hearts out of my own, use my veins like thread, then have hurt sewn to our skin like medals. Because when the bleeding stops and the dust settles, all we have out wounds to wear like decorations upon our chest.” -My Darling Sara, by Shane Koyczan

"I'm going to give you one more chance to tell me where the hell Stefano is. If you still don't feel like talking, then we're going to do this my way. Now my brother has been kind to you, but I'm not gonna be so nice." Mickey leaned down to place his hands on the cold wood, stained with blood that served as the arms of the chair in front of him. The man, some low-life club owner, stared back, his eyes scanning Mickeys face as his lips trembled. It was a simple transaction, or was meant to be, had the person that took Mickey's money stayed in town. Of course, it was never that easy. "Now, where the fuck is my money?" He whispered, the man's eyes widening. 

"I told you," The man replied, looking up into Mickey's ice-blue eyes. "I don't know where Stefano is. He never mentioned money to me." Mickey sighed, leaning back as he turned to his left, where an array of weapons lay out.

"Wrong answer," his brother, Iggy, muttered, laughing cruelly. "See, we had your phone bugged a few months back. We know he told you about the money, and we're guessing he told you where he was going... you did meet before he disappeared." The man paused, watching as Mickey turned, running his finger up along the edge of a knife.

"Last chance pal," Mickey muttered, causing the man's eyes to darken as he locked his jaw.

"Go fuck yourself," The man spat, spitting blood from his mouth. Mickey, who only raised an eyebrow, stepped forward and sighed.

"I had a feeling you would say that." He mumbled, shrugging off his jacket before walking to the man's side and holding up the knife. Iggy, who walked to the other side, grabbed a strip of duct tape and held it to the man's mouth. The knife slid up the side of the chair, lining up with the man's zip-tied hands. In fear, the man started wiggling in the seat, to no avail, joined by screaming the moment the knife cut down, straight through his fingers with a crunch. Blood rushed out quickly, covering the edge of the knife and spilling onto the floor, which made Mickey step back. "I suspect someone will come for you soon." He sighed, wiping the blood from the knife on the man's shirt. "and tell Stefano I want my money. Or else I'll come for more than your hand." 

He turned, quickly grabbing his jacket and gloves, and slid them on. Iggy, who'd started packing the weapons, grabbed his jacket as well. It was finally winter, Mickey's least favorite time of the year in the city of Chicago. Ever since he was a kid, the cold had bugged him, no matter how many stupid layers he piled on. It was simply too damn cold, even now that he had an apartment with a working heater.   
The moment his father died, Mickey had decided to bale on the small house in the south side and get an apartment away from the bustle of the rest of his family. Mandy and Iggy had the same idea, getting a small apartment to share themselves until they could afford their own. In all honesty, the only reason Mickey got his own apartment in the first place was all thanks to the dead-beat he called his father. During any money transaction, Mickey would put a little aside every time. Once his dad got killed though, he took all he'd saved up and got the hell out of his childhood home, only bringing what he needed. Some old pictures of his mom, his clothes, a gun, and some food to start out with. Almost two years later, and the apartment was finally up and going, feeling more like home than that house ever did. Despite the warmth and coziness of the new place though, the streets of Chicago hadn't changed a bit. 

"You'd think they'd learn to talk," Iggy sighed, throwing the duffle bag of guns and knives over his shoulder, following Mickey out of the abandoned building. As always, they were hit with a wall of snow and freezing air. "Honestly, he'd still have fingers and shit if he communicated a little. It's like a relationship, all you need is communication." 

"You watch too many soap operas," Mickey smiled, making his brother laugh as the two started down the street. "Besides who the fuck needs relationships anyways? A good hookup once in a while is enough for me. I wouldn't want to worry about someone else anyways." He reached into the fluffy pocket of the jacket, pulling out his cigarettes, and lit one. 

"Once in a while?" Iggy raised an eyebrow, "Dude I've never once seen you around a girl. You've been hitting the joint too much if you think that what you do qualifies as 'once in a while'." He rolled his eyes, turning down the street when a small shop to the corner caught his eyes. "Let's get some coffee, I'm freezing my balls off out here." 

"The fuck you are, you just wonna see that Russian chick." He laughed, "Whatever man, but you owe me. I can't keep buying your ass fancy coffee. Ask her out or something. Give my wallet a break." Despite his words however, he pulled open his wallet and walked into the coffee shop, Iggy following close behind with a wide smile on his face. The café was recently built, but Iggy had been coming frequently to see one of the cashiers, a Russian girl with an attitude. It was a nice place though, with fairly decent coffee so it wasn't like Mickey was complaining all that much. 

"Hey, little Ukrainian!" the girl happily exclaimed, looking at Iggy. "You brought even smaller man."

"Yeah, fuck off." Mickey sighed, walking to the counter, "what's good here lately?" 

"Don't know," the girl shrugged, "don't drink coffee."

"You work in a fucking coffee shop." Mickey smiled, looking up at the all too long list of fancy shit.

"Ian!" the girl yelled, sending Mickey a look that was half annoyance, half amusement. From the back, a taller boy with flaming red hair came running out, smiling like he was a fucking Teletubby. Mickey, for some reason, froze for a moment as he watched the boy smile and run a hand through the red hair. "Make your favorite drink for hobbit man." 

"The fuck did you just call me?" Mickey asked, raising an eyebrow, "Whatever happened to that customer is, always right?" Mickey was maybe three steps away from grabbing a stool and hopping the counter when the red head boy laughed, making him pause and reevaluate. He was already making the drink, sending occasional looks at Mickey, who was now noticing his brother was still there holding the bag, eyeing him oddly. 

"You heard me little man." She smiled, making Mickey roll his eyes and throw some cash on the counter. Choosing otherwise to ignore the girl, he walked to the other side of the counter, focusing on the boy who'd turned towards him.

"What's your name?" The boy smiled, making Mickey roll his eyes.

"That's none of your business."

"It's for the cup," Ian said softly, leaning towards Mickey some, who chose to ignore him.

"Again. None of your business. Me and Iggy are the only two here, you can leave it blank Firecrotch." He smiled as the boy reluctantly handed over the cup, leaving a name off of it. "Thank you." He smiled, but the boy paused, seeming intent on continuing this conversation for some God-given reason. 

"I'm Ian," He smiled, reaching to have Mickey shake his hand, to which Mickey completely ignored. "I've never seen you in here before."

"Funny, I seem to be here more often than not thanks to asshole who comes here for the view, not the coffee." He motioned to Iggy who was very obviously goggling at the Russian girl. Ian looked down, giggling before looking at Mickey.

"And you?" Mickey's smiled dropped. Was this kid seriously trying to hit on him right now. 

"Coffee only."

"Does that mean you'll be back?" Yep. The kid seriously thought Mickey swung that way. 

"Look, I don't know what you're tryna get at here, but drop it now Firecrotch. You don't want nothing to do with me," he smiled, swirling the cup before turning to Iggy who hadn't even bothered to buy anything. "Iggy we're leaving. Now." He threw a final wave to the Ian boy before turning with his brother, who was reluctantly following him out.

"Why are you so bitter all the time?" Iggy said softly as the two left the shop, Mickey clutching the coffee between his freezing hands. Mickey ignored the question, knowing what Iggy was well implying. His brother was what they referred to as a 'hopeless romantic' which seemed a bit odd considering the sort of environment they were raised into. Mickey didn't believe in love though, not anymore at least. Maybe there was a time long ago when his mom was still alive that he did. Back when his dad smiled and laughed. Back when his mom would dance around the house, her spirit never broken despite where they were. He was sure that part of him died when she did, taking his father's happiness with her. That day Mickey stopped believing in love. 

Instead, Mickey decided to focus on the snow which had started to fall as the two walked, allowing his breath to swirl in the air in front of them. Across the street, a girl laughed, swinging her hand to catch a boy's. No, Mickey didn't believe in love, but as Iggy always said, maybe he just needed a push in the right direction. 

 

-

 

"You were trying to flirt with little hobbit." Svetlana smiled, bumping into Ian who had watched the boy walk away. 

"To no avail. Wouldn't even tell me his name for the cup." Ian sighed, grabbing a rag to wipe down the counter, "Oh well, I tried at least." Svetlana shrugged, moving to a new customer who'd been standing by the door for a while. He was a larger man, bundled in a black coat and hat, hiding most of his face as he ordered the cheapest thing on the menu. Ian couldn't blame him; this place was too expensive for its own good. 

"You know that guy?" The man asked, his voice deep, catching Ian's attention as he realized the man was talking to him. He stopped, wondering why someone would ask such an odd question in the first place.

"He's been here before a few times." Svetlana provided for Ian who was still a little too confused to answer. The man nodded, taking the coffee Ian had been idly making. He gave a small grin, looking at Ian once more.

"Until next time." 

 

-

 

Ian couldn't believe he got stuck on clean up once more, letting Svetlana go out with her friend from her old job. This had been the second time this week, and had she not been his boss, he probably would have said no. Either way though, he got stuck locking up around ten, just as the last L train would have been leaving the station, meaning Ian would have to walk to his apartment. Normally, this wouldn't have bugged him, but it was winter and it was freezing at this point. So, he bundled up as normal and locked the shop, making his way home.

No, this wasn't the best part of Chicago to hang out in once the sun went down, and he'd always have his sister's voice telling him to be careful in the back of his head. They'd grown up here, and they all knew that once the sun set, you were supposed to be inside or with a group of people. And no matter what you did, never leave without a knife. Unfortunately, the last thing was something Ian didn't have at the moment, forgetting it at home during his typical morning rush. 

Ian sighed though, trying to push that thought from his head as he turned a corner towards an alley, deciding to take a small shortcut to his apartment. The sooner he was off the street, the more comfortable he would be, and besides he was only a good five minutes away at this point. Unfortunately, this didn't seem to help as a figure was stood leaning against the wall of the building ahead of him, and its head had snapped up to look at Ian, who was already backing away from the tall man. 

Ian, who had a good sense to run, started to turn, just as the man broke off in a sprint towards him. The smaller tried to exit the alley and get to the nearest street store, but the moment he tried to leave, the man was grabbing him from behind, throwing him to the ground with a loud thud, making him cry in pain as his ribs hit a pipe hanging out the side of the building. 

"Ian... we meet again," a deep voice said through wicked grin that Ian recognized from the café earlier. From his side, he reached into his pocket and pulled out what appeared to be a switchblade. "I'm gonna need you to be really quiet and listen closely. Understand?" He said darkly, causing Ian to nod due to the fact that his voice had given up on him anyways. The man smiled, leaning a bit closer, "I'm gonna need you to be really quiet. One word, and I won't hesitate to slit your throat. Now I understand you met a Milkovich. Two of them." Ian paused, trying to catch his breath as he looked at the man in confusion. "Unfortunately, I need them dead." The man leaned closer, causing Ian to turn his head, looking at the street as another figure of a man passes by. He swallowed, knowing that this man may be his only hope of getting out of this situation, and looked back at the guy holding a knife. In a quick moment, Ian kicked the man away. And he screamed as loud as he could.

 

-

 

Mickey was certainly not pleased his sister had him walking around at night in the middle of winter to pick her up some fucking pickles. He would normally tell the girl to do it herself, but Mickey had never liked the idea of his sister walking around at night in the first place. So, he begrudgingly left the comfort, and warmth, or his apartment to go get his little sister some pickles, despite the freezing air and location of their apartments. He'd almost reached the store too, almost a completely silent walk, had it not been for the scream in the alley next to him, causing him to freeze in place. He knew he should keep walking, a tip always given by his uncle, but the scream was so piercing that it stopped him dead in his tracks, causing him to turn and look. 

A taller man was scrambling to his feet, attempting to go after a smaller figure, which was scrambling away, even though he looked hurt. But even as Mickey looked from a distance, he could see the boy was younger, late teens or early twenties at most, and the other man was much older. 

"Help me!" The boy screamed, and Mickey caved. He reached into his jeans, pulling out the gun he tucked into the side of his pants. The boy was tackled back down, the older man holding up a knife when Mickey aimed and pulled the trigger. The man fell with a jerk, to the side of the boy who was crying at this point. Mickey being Mickey, shoved the body over and slid his gun back to its place, looking anxiously at the boy who was staring at the body in shock. 

"You... you shot him." He whispered, his voice barely coming out when he looked up at Mickey. Immediately, he recognized it to be the red-head from the café Iggy goes to. Mickey nodded, deciding to make a really stupid decision in the moment he saw the boy's wide eyes.

"Yeah, I wasn't gonna have him stab you. Look, we gotta get moving before someone calls the cops. Can you move?" He asked, trying to keep his voice quiet as the boy was obviously spooked. He reached down a hand, letting the boy take it as he tried to help him up, earning a loud gasp of pain. "Shit, ok come on I know someone that can help." He helped the red-head to his feet, letting the boy put an arm around him to steady him a bit before he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, dialing the only person he knew that had a slight medical knowledge.

"You get my pickles?" Mandy asked when she picked up the phone. "My sandwich is looking sad." Mickey sighed, holding his phone with only his shoulder, as he tried to get the boy walking.

"No. Change of plans, get to my place with your first aid kit." He said quickly, moving Ian out of the alley, and heading down the street towards his own place.

"What happened?" He could hear Mandy already shuffling on the phone, "Are you ok Mick? You're not hurt, are you?"

"No. Just... be there." He said, freeing a hand to turn off his phone and shove it back into his pocket. 

 

-

 

"Mandy open the fucking door!" Mickey yelled, trying to hold the boy up still, which proved to be hard after a few streets of walking. The door swung open, allowing the two to enter his apartment, much to Mandy's confusion. "Grab the first aid, he fucked up his leg and side pretty bad." He said, letting her take Ian to the couch as he turned to lock the door. 

"What the fuck happened Mickey?" Mandy said, trying to get Ian to sit without hurting him too much. 

"I fucked up is what happened. I saved the shit." Mickey sighed, running his hands through his hair.

"You... killed... him," Ian said, trying to focus on the fact that he just saw someone die. 

"You killed someone?!" Mandy turned to her brother, only for a second before trying to get Ian's shirt off. "Jesus kid, what the fuck happened."

"Some guy tackled me... said he wanted someone I know dead. I... don't.... I don't know who he meant. M-something. Milk-"

"Milkovich?" Mickey looked up as the boy nodded, "Shit."


	2. 2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “So, remember every instance before death. Every first kiss, first dance, near miss, last chance, yes, no, maybe so. Let us go the distance once more; let us remember all the moments that were and were not. Like the point is something we can get, and what we can get is what we got, because all we have are the times between the moments we connect each dot. So, live and remember. Burn like an ember capable of starting fires.” – Remember How We Forgot, by Shane Koyczan

Ian stared blankly at the wall in front of him, trying to focus on anything besides the hushed voice of his savior and the girl who’d examined the wounds on his pale skin. It was the voices that were simultaneously keeping him from going insane. So, instead of watching the wall in front of him spin from the loss of adrenaline, he looked at the boy and girl who glanced at him occasionally. The boy, his hair shaved on the sides and sleeked back, had a sharpness to his tousled look. It wasn’t until his eyes locked with Ian’s though, that he realized this to be the man from the café he worked in. The girl on the other hand, was skinny and tired, looking much more worried than the boy looked at the who situation. 

“Mick, you can’t just kick the kid out, look at him. He was held at knife point half an hour ago,” the girl whispered to the boy, looking over at Ian, “he’s still shaking.” She mumbled, causing the boy’s eyes to snap up.

“He can’t just stay here Mandy; the guy has a home somewhere.” He sighed, turning from the corner they were standing in to walk to Ian’s side. “Ian, right?”

“Yeah,” Ian mumbled, his voice barely above a rasp as he spoke. 

“What do you say we take you home? We get Iggy to bring the car so you won’t walk, I’ll go with you. How does that sound Ian?” Mickey said softly, searching Ian’s face for any sort of emotion. Ian looked up into Mickey’s intense eyes. 

“He tried to kill me,” he said, firmer this time, showing that no he wasn’t ok with just being thrown back to his own life after what just happened. Sure, Ian had been held at gun point once or twice because of a crazy ex, but there was nothing quite like the fear that went through him the moment a knife was held to him. This wasn’t different to someone who’d snapped. That guy last night knew what he was doing and did it with a purpose. 

“See?” The girl, Mandy said, looking at the boy like he was crazy. “Mickey, he almost died, and it hasn’t even been an hour. Think of what he’s going through right now, would you?” 

“I know exactly what he’s going through,” Mickey snapped back, “I’ve been through all this shit before ok? Now, you’re going to be fine, but I’m gonna need you to get up and go back to life as normal. You’re going to go to your own house, and forget all the shit that’s happened tonight? Got it?” Ian nodded helplessly, earning a satisfied look from Mickey, who looked at Mandy pointedly before pulling out his phone and sending a text. “Iggy will bring the car around, c’mon kid.” He said, moving to leave, which caused Mandy to look at him incredulously. 

“Hey,” she said softly, earning Ian’s attention as he stood to follow the shorter boy who was standing in the doorway holding the door open, “he may come off a little strong, but you will be ok. I promise.” She whispered, making Ian feel much more at ease than he was a mere few seconds ago. He nodded, giving a week smile as he followed Mickey through the door, ignoring the looks of sympathy from Mandy.

“Relax kid, this is Chicago. The guy was probably all jacked up on drugs, speaking to and attacking whoever he saw first.” Mickey said as the two made their way down the stairs of the building, trying to comfort the red-head and his worries. The boy paused for a moment before taking a breath and shoving his hands into his pockets.

“They knew who you were.” 

 

-

 

“Will you please turn off the fucking music Iggy, my mind feels like it’s gonna explode. Besides, I can’t hear red. Kinda need that address you know, to get him home.” Mickey said to his brother, Iggy, who reluctantly turned down the music.

“Jesus Mick, what’s got your panties in a twist?” The boy smiled, trying another joke to make Ian laugh, as he’d been sitting in silence the entire ride.

“Fuck you and your stupid techno music,” Mickey sighed, looking at Ian in the review mirror. “We almost there red?” Ian looked out at the street, the lights flashing by as they passed the alley way, which looked even scarier as the city fell into complete darkness from the night sky. 

“Yeah.” He said softly, “just up here. It’s the brick one with the light out.” He pointed to ragged looking building with a door and two lights on, the one on the right of the door blown out. No, it wasn’t the best apartment, but it was the best Ian could afford. He worked the café most days, and worked at a club on days he needed extra money. Though, Ian figured he only worked there because he’d been around so long. Not to mention the owner thought the red hair would bring in a different type of customer all together. It made him enough though to move out of his worn-down childhood home. 

Soon enough, the car stopped, snapping Ian out of his thoughts and causing Mickey and Iggy to look at the distracted boy in the back. Mickey turned as Ian went to get out of the car and rolled down his window, catching Ian’s attention.

“Give me your phone.” He said, biting his lip. Ian froze for a second before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his shitty flip-phone. Mickey took it and quickly typed some stuff in. “I put in my name and number ok? Just… give me a call if something happens. I doubt it will, but if it does just give me a ring or something ok?” 

“Yeah,” Ian nodded, shoving the phone back into the pocket it came from. “Yeah ok I’ll give you a call if something goes wrong.” Mickey paused, nodding before waving and rolling up the window, a sign for Iggy to drive the car off into the distance, the sound of techno music fading with it. 

Ian took a deep breath and walked to the apartment building, pushing open the black medal door and heading up towards his apartment itself on the third floor. His neighbor, an elderly woman, gave him a small nod as he entered, which surprised him none. The woman had a habit of waiting for Ian to come home at night, something about him reminding her of her grandson. 

“Late night dear?” she asked in a rough voice, the years she spent smoking catching up to her. Ian nodded, smiling faintly.

“Yeah you could say that.” He pulled out his key, shoving it into the lock and twisting it, “goodnight Mrs. Sanders,” he waved, earning a small wave back as the old woman returned to her own apartment, happy to see that Ian had gotten home ok for the night. Once he was inside though, Ian couldn’t help but stare into the pitch black of his apartment and let out a ragged breath, which only caused his ribs to hurt. 

He pushed away from the door and moved to the bathroom instead and turned on the light, his reflection staring back from the grimy mirror. Tenderly, he lifted his cotton shirt, revealing his side which was indeed badly bruised in purples and yellows, causing him to flinch as his fingers gingerly grazed the area. It reminded him of when he was younger, always getting hurt with his brother Lip and having Fiona tell him off for doing something stupid. 

He dropped the shirt and pulled out his phone, dialing a number he hadn’t in a long while. 

“Hello?” The girl spoke, obviously tired due to the time.

“Fi?” Ian whispered, his voice shaky.

“Ian? Is that you? Are you ok?” Fiona immediately jumped into her worried mother voice, any sign of tiredness completely gone.

“I’m ok. I just needed to hear you.” He admitted, feeling a little more homesick now that no one was here to hug him and tell him that he was going to be ok. Fiona sighed on the other end, letting herself relax just as Ian realized she was probably either busy or sleeping when he called. “Sorry. I gotta go.” And he removed the phone, turning it off for the night.

 

-

 

“He get back ok?” Mandy asked the moment Mickey walked through his door, making him roll his eyes. 

“Nah I left him on the corner of the street for all the hungry prostitutes to have.” Mickey smiled sweetly, earning him a glare as he walked to the kitchen to grab a beer.

“Not funny.” His sister replied, the worry still in her voice.

“Who the hell do you think you’re talking to?” He said calmer, “Of course the kid got back ok. I wasn’t gonna let anything else happen to him. I may have sent him home, but I remember how scary that shit can be. I wasn’t gonna let him fend for himself.” He said, making her raise an eyebrow skeptically, “look I even gave him my number if it makes you feel better. Told him to call me if anything happened.” 

“Ok.” Mandy finally sighed, taking the beer from Mickey’s hand and taking a drink.

“First, that’s mine,” he said, taking the beer back, “second, why the fuck are you so upset over this? It’s Chicago, happens all the time around here.” Mickey said, earning yet again another one of her infamous looks. 

“You heard him,” he ran a hand through her hair, “he said the guy wanted a Milkovich dead. You shot the messenger Mickey. What do you think happens when you kill the messenger? They start sending people to get the fucking message through Mick. That boy is at risk all because someone wants you guys dead.” Mickey paused, the beer half raised to his lips.

“I told you. I won’t let the kid fend for himself Mandy.

 

-

 

The next day went fairly smooth for Ian, much to his relief. He explained everything to Svetlana who allowed him to hand out at the café, even on his day off to make him feel a little more comfortable. They even went shopping for some food, making Ian feel much more relaxed by the time Svet decided to go home for the day. He happily walked with his new food to his apartment and even chatted with Mrs. Sanders, who updated him on her grandson and his wife. 

He opened the apartment door, a smile once more on his face as walked in. Immediately, the smile stopped when he looked around, everything he owned was thrown like a tornado had swept the place. His furniture was turned up and all his belongings were strewn apart. The right side of the wall was marked, but as Ian stepped closer, his blood ran cold. The wall was splattered in blood, the stench of it making Ian drop the bag of groceries and cover his mouth in shock. The blood was made to look like a smiley face, the letting M carved into the wall just under it. 

He slowly backed away as a crash sounded from the bedroom, indicating that he was indeed not alone in the apartment. Slowly, Ian backed towards the door, opening it as quietly as he possibly could before he took off down the hall and to the outside. From there, Ian ran as fast as he could to the apartment a few blocks down, never stopping once to catch his breath. 

 

-

 

Mickey was happily enjoying a drink when an aggressive knock came to the door, making him practically jump from his seat. His sister should’ve been at work and he paid rent this month, so he couldn’t see any reason someone should be banging on the door this time of day. So, he grabbed the gun from his table, checking it was loaded before quietly walking to the door and looking through the peep-hole, only to see the red-headed Ian practically having a panic attack in the hallway. Mickey sighed, shoving the gun into the lining of his pants before pulling the door open.

“Red?” He asked, unsure of why the boy was here again, “the fuck are you doing here?” Unfortunately, Ian seemed a little too out of breath to even start to answer that question, so Mickey just allowed the boy inside before shutting the door. 

“Someone… came… my apartment…” he breathed out, making Mickey’s eyes widen as he moved to lock the door.

“And you fucking run here? What if they followed you, I can’t have people showing up here Red. I told you to fucking call me not come running to my fucking apartment. What the hell is wrong with you?” Mickey sighed, looking at Ian who promptly burst into tears.

“I’m sorry! I came home and someone was in my room and I panicked. I didn’t think.” He said softly, running shaky hand through his hair as Mickey sighed and walked towards him, placing a hand on Ian’s shoulder.

“Shit. Look man just take a breath ok? They didn’t see you, did they?” Mickey asked, leading Ian to sit down on the couch. The boy looked up at Mickey’s hand, causing him to quickly pull it away.

“No, I don’t think so. I got out of there pretty fast.” He said quietly, causing Mickey to look slightly more relieved. 

“Ok. Look, stay here alright? I’ll call my brothers and see if there’s anything we can do. Just relax. You’re safe here.” He said, standing up before Ian paused and looked up at him. 

“Why is this happening to me? Who are you anyways?” he asked quietly, trying not to aggravate Mickey while they were under the same roof with no one else around. “Those men are after you, so why am I involved?” He asked as Mickey sent out a text, to who Ian figured was his brothers. Mickey however didn’t look annoyed, but rather sat on the coffee table in front of Ian, letting them sit face to face before he spoke.

“My name is Mickey Milkovich, also known as Mikhailo Aleksandr Milkovich.” Ian’s eyes widened as the name clicked into place. The man sitting in front of him was a name spoken on the news more often than not in crimes related to gang and mafia violence. He was a wanted man. “Those men are likely someone that want me dead for anything from me fucking the boss’ sister or me taking down their business. They probably saw us talk at the café and figured you knew me, and for that I’m sorry. It seems these fuckers are pretty persistent.”

“So, what you’re telling me is I almost died because of you?” Ian asked, “How the fuck do I know you don’t want to kill me too?”

“While that’d certainly make it easier on me, I don’t believe in killing an innocent person.” Mickey rolled his eyes before he saw a flash of fear in Ian’s. He softened his tone before speaking again, “I’m not gonna hurt you Ian. I’m gonna do everything I can to keep you alive ok? You’ll just have to trust me on that.” At that moment, a knock came to the door and Mickey stood up, going to open it. At this point, two large men and Iggy walked into the room. 

“Hey Ian,” Iggy smiled, waving happily at the red-head who just gave a small smile back.

“Thanks for coming guys,” Mickey sighed, running a hand through the sleeked back part if his hair, which made a piece fall in his face and catch Ian’s attention. Mickey may be a thug, but he had a nice look to him with a button up shirt that he rolled the sleeves up on and dark jeans. The mafia look suited him.

“What’s the big commotion? I stopped dinner with my girl to get over here. As far as I can see, there’s not a fire or a dead body.” One of the bigger guys asked, making the other one roll his eyes.

“Martha Stewart doesn’t count as having dinner with a real girl dumbass.” The other replied, making Iggy laugh and Mickey roll his eyes.

“Shut the fuck up,” Mickey barked, instantly causing silence in the room. “We have a problem. Red, meet my other brothers, Jamie and Joey. Now, Ian here has brought to my attention that someone wants us dead.”

“Someone always wants us dead.” Jamie, who was obviously still annoyed at being here, said.

“This is different. They held Red here last night with a knife to his throat. Unfortunately, I shot the messenger, which pissed someone off big time. They broke into Red’s house and trashed the place.” Mickey continued, making the boys stop.

“There’s more,” Ian said, catching their attention, “there was a smiley face written in blood on my wall, and someone had carved an M into the wall as well.” Mickey blinked, suddenly understanding why the hell Ian looked ready to have a heart attack when he first arrived. 

“I’ll look into it.” Joey sighed, “I got a guy that can start tracing the cameras in your area. See if we can’t figure out who the hell is behind all of this.” Mickey nodded.

“Jamie, I want you to start by examining the apartment and see if anyone lingered. If they did, take them in. Iggy, you’re gonna start watching Red when he goes for work and shit. I’m not having someone innocent die on my watch because of shit that we did. That’s not the way I run this business.” Mickey settled on, earning a nod before he turned to Ian, “Red, you’re staying here until we’re sure you can go back.”

“What?” Ian asked, suddenly much more freaked out.

“You heard me. Like I said, trust. It’s either that or risk dying in your sleep.” Mickey raised an eyebrow and Ian finally nodded, folding his arms as he sat back. “Iggy go with Jamie and bring back his stuff.   
Clothes, tooth brush, shit like that.” Iggy nodded, as well as the others.

“Can we go now?” Jamie asked, earning a nod from Mickey. The group smiled as Iggy looked at Ian and winked at Mickey, causing him to glare at the group exited the apartment.

“You want me to fucking move in?” Ian asked, unsure of how to respond to this.

“I’m trying to do you a favor and prevent your ass from getting killed. Now do yourself a favor and go to the bedroom before I kick you out.” Mickey sighed, making Ian stop in his tracks.

“The bedroom? As in one bedroom?”

“Yes. You can take the bed. I’m fine on the couch. Sleep here most nights anyways.” Mickey shrugged, sitting back down as Ian stood up and hesitated. Mickey looked up questioningly and stopped when he saw Ian’s face. “Look Red, just go. Don’t try to thank me either or I’ll rip the tongue right outta your mouth.” He said, going back to his drink from earlier. Ian hesitated before nodding and walking to the room he’d have to stay in.

Only until this shit got sorted, he told himself.


	3. 3.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “You just need to know this is the first time I've ever done this without looking for an exit row. And I'm pretty sure my seat can't float, but I've already fallen from the sky for you. Already said no to the parachute; Already told my mother you curse like a sailor, and you love like the war is finally over and you have just come home and you are running down the dock in the harbor and you're screaming my name” – Honey, by Andrea Gibson

Mickey woke to something falling in the kitchen, making him immediately sit up and pull his gun from his side. He slid off the couch, stepping quietly with the gun pulled, ready to shoot if anyone jumped out at him. He avoided any squeaky floorboards and snuck quietly towards the kitchen, jumping around the corner only to reveal Ian. The red head paused, jumping back a little at the sight of a gun raised at him. Mickey sighed, lowering the gun as he let out a breath. 

“Jesus, Red, what the hell are you doing?” Mickey sighed, shoving the gun back to his side as Ian visibly relaxed. Ian sighed, going back to the stovetop, which was sizzling with eggs in a pan, and suddenly Mickey was all too aware of just how hungry he was at the moment. 

“I’m cooking. You know, food?” Ian shrugged, looking up at Mickey with big eyes, “Figured I’d make the most out of this imprisonment you and your family seem to think fit for me at the moment. If I’m locked up, I may as well enjoy it.” He smiled sweetly at Mickey for a few seconds before dropping it and cooking once more.

“You know it’s to protect you right?” Mickey asked, stepping closer to Ian who turned, leaning against the counter as he stood face to face with Mickey, the tension rising between them. 

“Oh really? And that involves me having to stay with you?” Ian tested, pissing Mickey off more than he was a moment ago. He grabbed the front of Ian’s shirt, pushing him further back into the counter as he spoke his next words through gritted teeth.

“Let’s get one thing straight here Red, you came to me remember? You were the one that showed up on my doorstep, so stop acting like I forced you to be here. And in case you forgot, I’m just trying to help you out here. Stop acting like you can’t leave, because trust me you can, but if you get held at knife-point again, I’m not doing anything for your ass. So, I suggest you shut the hell up and let me help. Got it?” Mickey spoke, his face only a half foot away from Ian’s at this face, both of them breathing heavily between glares. Ian, who was busy wanting to punch Mickey, glanced quickly at the boy’s baby blue eyes, then to his lips. The gesture seemed to catch them both by surprise, causing Ian to shift uncomfortably, and Mickey to retract his hand as fast as humanly possible.   
Mickey awkwardly scratched his head, walking to the table that he rarely used and watched as Ian focused as much on the eggs in front of him as he could. Neither one wanted to think about what had just happened because neither were entirely sure what did happen. Normally, Mickey would have probably punched someone if they did that, but the gesture alone surprised him to the point where he couldn’t focus on anything, just the look in Ian’s eyes. 

“You, um… want some?” Ian asked quietly. 

“Red… you know I’m no-”

“Eggs,” Ian turned quickly, looking at Mickey with wide eyes, “Do you want some eggs?” He asked, making Mickey blink and snap himself out of whatever shock he was going through at the moment.

“Right. Yeah. Eggs, yes.” Mickey cleared his throat, pulling out a chair at the table as he sat down and watched as Ian put eggs on two plates, handing one to Mickey and finally sitting down, a silence settling awkwardly upon them both. Ian sat down, pushing his eggs around with a fork for a moment or two before looking up at Mickey.

“I’m sorry. I know you’re trying to help, but it’s weird. I didn’t expect to wake up in someone else’s bed and not feel comfortable going home.” Ian said, looking oddly into Mickey’s eyes.

“Yeah I get it. I guess I’d be a little freaked out too.” Mickey said, shoveling some of the eggs into his mouth before moaning a little from the taste, and causing Ian to start laughing. For a moment, the sound of that alone took Mickey completely off guard. This boy who seemed so uncomfortable moments before was throwing his head back, his face turning a little red as he laughed at Mickey’s love of food and a proper homemade piece of cooking. 

“Like the food?” Ian smiled, a little cheerier than he was before.

“Fuck off,” Mickey rolled his eyes, “can’t remember the last time I had something other than take-out.” 

“Mandy doesn’t cook for you?” Ian asked. From what he’d seen, Mandy was one of those overly protective sisters that would make sure that Mickey was eating something at least mildly healthy for him.

“Fuck no,” Mickey said, eating more eggs, “she can’t cook for shit. I’m pretty sure she’d burn fucking water if I let her near a stove.” He said, making Ian once again laugh. This time however, even Mickey managed to get a smile out, a genuine one. He couldn’t help it much though, as it seemed Ian’s laugh was just a tad bit contagious.

“Remind me never to have Mandy cook for me then,” Ian smiled, making Mickey roll his eyes.

“No way, it’s one of those things you have to try at least once. I’ll make sure she cooks some of the infamous fish pasta.” Mickey said, laughing a little himself this time, which made Ian pause for a second because yeah, Mickey Milkovich had a great laugh. 

“That sounds horrible.” Ian cringed, still smiling though.

“Worst damn thing I ever tasted,” Mickey laughed once more, just as a small gasp came from the corner of the room. Both Ian and Mickey looked up to see Iggy smirking, twirling his car keys around his finger as he walked further into the kitchen.

“Holy shit, you made him laugh Gallagher.” Iggy smiled, “Joey expected him to kill you for taking up some of his apartment, but I told him that you’d survive somehow. Turns out you must be a damn comedian.” Iggy smiled, waving at Ian as Mickey’s smile dropped and turned into a glare aimed at his brother.

“The fuck are you doing here?” Mickey sighed, picking up his plate and moving it to the sink. At this, Iggy looked a little bit surprised.

“You texted me?” He said in more of a question than anything, obviously more than a bit lost.

“No, I didn’t.” Mickey said, his eyebrows furrowing.

“I did.” Ian spoke up, causing Mickey to simultaneously look pissed and confused. “I’m sorry, but you were sleeping and I didn’t want to wake you but I didn’t have Iggy’s number and you said he’d be giving me rides and I have to go to work because I need this job.” He spoke quickly, causing Mickey to sigh before looking back and forth between Ian and Iggy, who had raised his hands in innocence.

“Don’t ever touch my fucking phone again without my permission.” Mickey said, the sharpness back in his voice. Ian’s eyes widened at the change in character from what he’s seen this morning, backing away a little. He’d never done well with hostile people, which probably stemmed from his dead-beat father and bipolar mother getting into fights and Frank taking it out on the kids every time she walked out on them. 

“Let’s go,” Iggy sighed, grabbing Ian’s arm as he took one last look at the pissed off Mickey. “Oh, and Mick? Joey said he’d go with you to talk to Kev later, see if the guy knows anything about what’s been going on.” Mickey nodded, waving Ian and Iggy away.

 

-

 

“He’s not that bad you know?” Iggy asked Ian as the two drove to the café down the road. “It’s not his fault the way he is.” Ian paused, not sure how to respond to that.

“Whose fault is it then?” Ian asked, causing a small laugh from Iggy.

“Damn, you don’t beat around the question do you kid? Anyways, a while back some shit went down with someone that Mickey was always kind of scared of. Fucked him up bad and he stopped letting people in forever ago. Anyways, he hasn’t really smiled or laughed since for anyone, which is what took me off guard this morning. He just seemed happy for once. He’s not a bad guy though, just dealt with too much shit and grew up too fast. I mean… he’s still our kid brother, he just… he was never much of a kid I guess.” Iggy shrugged, acting like he talked about this sort of stuff daily. 

“What happened a while back?” Ian asked, causing Iggy to hesitate before he spoke.

“Some family stuff. I can’t say too much about it. Mick would kill me, especially because he didn’t mean to tell me. Got shit faced and spilled. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the poor kid so damn messed up. He’s been doing better though.” Iggy sighed, “uses the family business as sort of a… distraction I guess.” 

“What exactly is the family business?” Ian asked as the two finally arrived at the café and started to get out.

“Nah,” Iggy smiled, “the less you know about that the better off you’ll be in the end kid. Just keep your nose clean.” Iggy smiled more as the two walked into the café and he caught sight of Svetlana wiping down one of the counters.

 

-

 

“Hey Kev!” Mickey yelled as he walked into the empty bar, a place that usually didn’t fill up until around mid-afternoon. From the back, a much taller man with a shaved head and a slight beard came out, a glass he was cleaning in his hand. 

“Hey Mickey, you finally sad enough to start drinking in the morning?” Kevin smiled.

“Nah I ain’t that stupid,” Mickey sighed.

“I’ll take a beer,” Joey shrugged, causing Kevin to smile as the taller Milkovich slapped a ten onto the counter. Mickey rolled his eyes, causing Joey to shrug and smile.

“Look we need information on something,” Mickey said, his voice a little lower, despite the lack of people in the bar. He’d been going to Kevin for information for as long as he could remember. The guy was just friendly, and easily got information from people. Normally, that’d freak Mickey out a bit, but Kevin’s main quality was that he was loyal as fuck, no matter what. So yeah, Mickey actually trusted the guy when it came to his business. 

“Ok, who’s the person?” Kevin asked, causing both of the brothers to shuffle a little.

“Well… we don’t… know,” Joey said, causing Kevin to raise an eyebrow in sudden interest.

“What he means is that… well we don’t know.” Mickey sighed, “Someone wants us dead though. Shit maybe I do need a drink,” he mumbled, sitting down as Kevin nodded and poured another beer for the younger, who downed it fairly fast. 

“Jesus kid, what’s been going on?” Kevin asked.

“Someone is onto us. And I made it worse the other day. Saved some damn kid who was being threatened in an alley and shot the guy doing it. Turns out the guy was a messenger and had the idea that this kid knew me. Anyways, the point was clear but I didn’t think much of it until the fucking kid shows up on my door saying that someone had broken into his place and carved a fucking M into his wall next to a shit ton of blood.”

“Shit,” Kevin breathed out, placing his hands on the counter, “Well I can certainly look into it and ask a few guys I know. I still have Tony down at the station. Not sure how happy he’d be to help after your dumbass brother Iggy hit on his mom, but I’ll see what I can get out of him and get back to you?” 

“Yeah, thanks Kev,” Mickey said, feeling already a little more at ease.

“No problem, just be careful. Your mother would have killed me if she knew what sort of shit I let you get involved in. I’m confident if you died she’d rise from the dead and drag me back with her.” Kevin said. He’d barely known Mickey’s mom, but she trusted the guy, and that had always been enough for Mickey.

“Yeah,” Mickey sighed, standing up, “I’ll see you later.”

 

-

 

“So, you just get to sit here and make coffee all day?” Iggy asked Ian out of boredom just as Mickey and Joey walked into the café. “Doesn’t that ever get boring? Like, don’t you ever want more with work?” 

“Ease up Ig, the kid can do whatever he wants, even if it is boring,” Joey laughed, moving to sit down as Mickey walked to order a drink from Svetlana who scoffed at the comment.

“Ian has anything but boring job. This isn’t his only work place.” Svetlana smirked, making Ian give her a warning look as he leaned towards Mickey and loudly whispered, “He is also stripper.” Iggy promptly choked on his coffee as Mickey raised an eyebrow and looked at Ian questioningly, a smirk on his lips.

“I’m not a stripper. I just occasionally dance at the club down the road.” He shrugged, trying to hide his slight embarrassment.

“You are stripper at Fairy Tale,” Svet rolled her eyes, handing Mickey’s cup to Ian to actually make the drink he ordered.

“Isn’t that a gay club?” Joey asked from a couch in the back, laughing a little as Ian turned, avoiding all of their eyes as he spoke.

“Well, if the shoe fits,” He mumbled, making Iggy choke again as he started laughing, pretending to ignore the new look on Mickey’s face as he watched Ian make the drink. “I’m not a stripper though. I just… I’m a dancer is all. No stripping involved.” He shrugged, finishing the drink, which he noticed is the same one he recommended to Mickey the last time he was here.

“Right, you have to start with clothes on to be stripper,” Svetlana laughed, making Ian sigh as he turned to hand the cup to Mickey, “Gold man bikini doesn’t count.”

“Fuck off,” Ian laughed, ignoring his friend. The others laughed too as Mickey’s phone rang, causing him to pause as he picked it up.

“What?” he asked, his voice out of any laughter, which caused a silence to fall over them, “Wait Jamie slow down. What’s going on?... What?... Shit. Ok, we’ll be there soon.” He clicked the phone off, turning to Joey and Iggy, “Jamie called. Richie just turned up dead.” The group went silent as Iggy spoke.

“What?”

“That’s not all. There’s an M on his wall.”


	4. 4.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “And I remember when each finger was a pawn moving slowly across the chessboard of your body, and we made each game last. Passed up each avenue of attack because neither one of us were trying to win, so how do we begin again when that feels like now and this feels like then? When all I can do is tell you "if you've got something that needs saying, tonight I'm paying dues." I've got a pocket full of blues and two pennies to rub together, which means I'm wealthy enough that I can finally afford to pay attention. I'm listening.” – Promise, by Shane Koyczan

To say that Richie’s place was a mess was a complete understatement. The first thing that hit Mickey was outside the apartment itself, the strong stench of blood wafting through the door and into the street. At this, Mickey paused, holding a hand up to signal them all to stop and he turned, glancing at the red-head behind him. He’d insisted on tagging along, much to Mickey’s distain, but he didn’t need to see whatever was inside the crappy, worn-down house on the corner. Joey seemed to understand this, stepping in front of Ian and telling him he’d be best to wait outside.

Ian paused for a moment before hesitantly nodding and allowing the brothers to walk in, which was easy due to the door being unlocked, or rather carelessly broken into. Mickey paused, retrieving the gun from the inside of his pant lining and pushing the door open with a creek. Joey and Iggy followed close behind, leaving Ian on the porch. From the inside, Mickey stood on alarm until he heard his brother, Jamie, call to them from inside the house.

“In here Mick,” he called, and Mickey lowered the gun. He walked to the next room to be met with a horrific sight, causing even him to stumble backwards and knock a glass lamp over, causing it to shatter in the silence. Iggy too covered his mouth, and to his side Joey stepped away from the room. Directly in front of him, his family friend was practically mutilated. The body lay in the middle of his room, perfectly aligned on his bed to be sitting up right. The body itself looked to have almost been burned, but not by fire. The skin was oddly smooth, yet burned down to the tender muscles underneath. On the left side of his face, Mickey could see half of his nose was gone, leaving a black hole, and his eye socket was melted, leaving practically only an eyeball. Around the body, the bed sheets were burned as well, barely leaving the body to sit there. But the worst was the blood, on everything from his bed to the ceiling. It was enough to make Mickey’s stomach do a flip.

The sound of footsteps coming quickly down the living room was enough to distract Mickey, allowing him to turn to the doorway where he saw Ian running in. 

“I heard a crash is everyone ok?” He asked just before he skidded to a stop, his words melting as he looked at the sight in front of him. Mickey paused, watching as Ian’s face fell in a completely different way, and he knew that internally, the boy must have been freaking out. If it was eve possible, the boy’s skin faded to an even whiter color, then to a pale green. At this, Mickey’s instinct took over and he immediately went to Ian, who was frozen in fear.

“Hey, come on, you don’t want to see this,” He said softly, grabbing Ian’s arm to turn him and lead him out of the room. Ian paused, barely moving as Mickey guided him towards the living room. The poor red-head looked as if he had seen a damn ghost. Mickey wondered what was going through the boy’s head, as he was far too used to this. His father was not a kind man in the business. He was stupid, but was known to be brutal. As a result, Mickey and his brothers were raised around this sort of shit, and it was hard to truly phase them anymore. Still, this boy was definitely phased, and looked sick.

“Hey man, you ok?” Mickey asked, sitting Ian down on the worn and torn up couch. The red-head didn’t even look up as he shook his head no. “Hey,” Mickey whispered, grabbing Ian’s chin to make Ian look at him, the quickly dropping his hand, “It’s just a body Red. Like in a scary movie. Don’t think of it as a person ok? Just a body in a movie.” He said, causing Ian’s eyes to go wide for a second before he looked back down and whispered, ‘just a body.’

“Hey Mick!” Iggy yelled, causing Ian to jump a little and Mickey to sigh and stand up, walking back into the room with the body. “Acid burn, but there’s not bullet wound. They burned him alive.” Mickey grimaced a little at the thought as Joey spoke up.

“Who would do that?” He mumbled, his voice muffled by an arm which he held in front of his face to block the smell. 

“Someone who wants to send a message.” Mickey sighed, his eyes following the wall to lock onto the M, burned onto the wall. “Sick fucks.”

“It’s about to get worse,” Iggy mumbled, causing the attention in the room to shift to him as he held up a piece of paper which he started to read. “Keep looking, but you won’t catch me. You’re where I want you Milkovich. I’m always one step ahead.” He trailed off at the end, sending shivers down the spines of those in the room. 

“One step ahead of us?” Mickey asked, his brows furrowing, “Where the hell did you find that?” 

“It was taped to the shower curtain.” He sighed, causing Jamie to look at him questioningly, “What? You guys know I don’t do well with shit that gruesome. I got a little sick, and I look up and see this shit hanging there. By the way, you don’t wonna see the shower. I’m pretty sure that’s where they cut him up a bit. It looks like the fucking Niagara Falls of blood in there.” 

Mickey sighed, turning his head over his shoulder to get a look at Ian who was staring at his shaking hands. For a moment, Mickey felt bad for him, almost wanting to tell the boy it would be ok and he was safe, but at the moment he didn’t even feel safe. The writer of that note knew what they were doing and they obviously knew where they were hitting next. Knowing this meant that they probably had eyes on the place right now, knowing they would have all shown up. 

“Shit.” He mumbled, running a hand through his hair. “The fucker is probably watching our every move. I’m not even sure we should go back to the apartment. They’d know where it’s at, and that’s my fucking haven. Can’t lose another home.” At those words, Mickey’s phone started ringing, starting just about everyone in the room, but Mickey was fast to answer.

“Hey,” Kevin said through the line, “So I wasn’t able to track down Tony at first, but I called his mom, a lovely lady by the way. She said to tell Iggy hello.” Mickey rolled his eyes.

“This story got a point?”

“Right, anyways he’s been repositioned in California I guess. So, I got his information and gave him a call, but he wouldn’t say much over the phone. From what I got, he has a guy with him who used to be involved with some people that used to do that sort of shit. They’re refusing to fly in though which is an issue because I couldn’t get much more outta him. He’s not coming for a reason Mick, and I don’t think it’s good.” 

“Shit.” Mickey sighed, “Well what the fuck am I supposed to do now? He’s our only lead at the moment.”

“I don’t know. Go fly out there or some shit.” Kevin sighed, “Look I have a customer Mickey I gotta go. You want me to get the address of where he’s staying?” Mickey pondered the options for a second, something he did often as leader of the business. His dad used to say he was the fastest decision maker he’d ever seen, alongside him. That was bullshit though, because his dad never made decisions, just acted impulsively. 

“Yeah. Shit, I’ll leave as soon as possible. Thanks Kev,” he sighed, clicking the phone off and turning to his brothers. “Get ahold of Mandy and get her to my place. I’ll need a suitcase and my shit, and tell her to drop it off at the warehouse. We’ll pick it up a while after she drops it off, can’t have anyone following her. I gotta go to fucking California to meet up with Tony. Fucker won’t say shit over the phone.”  
Iggy nodded, whipping out his phone and calling Mandy.

“What about the kid?” Jamie asked, causing Mickey to pause. Normally he wouldn’t have to worry about someone else, but it seemed that changed.

“Fuck, I’ll go talk to him,” Mickey sighed, turning to Ian who hadn’t moved an inch since he left him. Ian’s hands were still shaking when Mickey walked over and squatted by him, “Hey I gotta go to California to meet Tony. You’ll have to stay by yourself for a day or two, and I’m pretty sure that you’ll be ok, but keep the door locked?” Ian’s eyes snapped up, and even though his voice was gone, he started protesting by shaking his head.

“Red I have to go.” Mickey sighed, “Can’t you survive a few fucking days?” Ian shook his head once more, already feeling guilty for some fucking reason. 

“Just take the kid with you,” Joey suggested from behind him, catching Mickey’s attention.

“What?”

“Well it’s obvious he doesn’t wonna get left alone but we can’t leave him with Mandy. The moment we leave the place, we’re all targets, and he can’t follow one of us. I have kids and you know very well that Jamie’s girl would have his fucking head. Just take him with you and solve the fucking issue.” Joey sighed, looking out one of the dirty windows. Mickey sighed, weighing his options. He looked quickly to Ian whose eyes looked slightly more hopeful.

“Fuck. Fine but we’re only gone for two days, and don’t fuck this up.”

 

-

 

Ian hadn’t spoken a word since they left Richie’s house, which threw Mickey off because it seemed the boy usually never shut up. It was obvious he’d never been in an airport before either judging by the nervousness on his face. Even now as they waited to board the plane, it was obviously written all over the lines on his face. It jumped to even more the moment they took their seats and Mickey turned to Ian. 

“You know riding a plane isn’t that bad, cept for the time we almost crashed,” he teased, but Ian’s eyes snapped to his, laced with fear in specks of green Mickey never noticed before. “I’m kidding Red. It’s perfectly safe.” Despite his words however, Mickey saw Ian jump a bit as the plane started moving backwards and the flight attendants started to give safety instructions.

Just as the instructions came to a close, the plane lifted off and Mickey slid on his headphones as he watched Ian close his eyes nervously. He slowly opened them as they lifted off, becoming more interested in looking out the window until they started moving through the clouds, stirring the plane a bit, and causing Ian to death-grip the arm rest.

Mickey closed his eyes, trying to ignore the red-head a bit, but as he opened one eye a few minutes later to see that Ian was practically on the verge of tears, Mickey wasn’t sure what possessed him. Because for some reason he remembered what him mom used to do to comfort him on planes. And Mickey slowly reached his hand over, placing it on Ian’s as he closed his eye again. And he was sure he felt Ian relax a bit.

 

-

 

The hotel wasn’t the best but it wasn’t a shit-hole either. There were two nicer beds, which Mickey was more than thankful for as he hadn’t had a bed in so damn long, and there was a TV. The sun was also out, which was a nice change from the horrible Chicago winter he was used to. Ian even seemed a little more relaxed, although he still hadn’t said a damn word, which was honestly starting to annoy Mickey a little. 

“You’ll have to be dressed kinda nice for dinner. We’re meeting Tony and his guy to see what the hell they know about what’s going on.” He sighed, unzipping his suitcase to grab a larger button up shirt and toss it to Ian, figuring the boy didn’t have anything too nice, as most of his clothes were still at his place, and Mickey wasn’t gonna risk Mandy to send her there. 

Ian caught it, and without a beat immediately started taking off his sweater, which caught even Mickey off guard. For a moment he froze, his eyes trailing over Ian’s pale chest and the freckles that lay upon it. For a second he even wanted to move closer, but at that he shook his head and looked away from Ian, who had already started putting on his button-up.

“No shame, eh Red?” Mickey asked, causing Ian to shrug, “Not talking yet either. Fine, whatever be a fucking mute for the rest of your life. Won’t get you anywhere,” he mumbled, causing Ian to glare at him and Mickey to raise his hands defensively. “Just saying Red.”

Glare.

“Fine,” Mickey sighed, throwing his coat onto the bed, “Grab you’re shit. We’re going to dinner whether you decide to talk or not.” And with that he stormed out of the hotel room, not entirely sure what even pissed him off. Mickey had always had a short temper, or so his mom as told him. She said he’d been born angry, and was willing to fight anyone, even as a small child. Still, even to him he wasn’t sure why it pissed him off so much that Ian wasn’t talking. 

“Taxi!” He yelled, catching a cab as Ian jogged up behind him, both of them sliding into the backseat. “Pier 39.” He ordered, only knowing the area and the restaurant they were supposed to meet up at. The driver nodded as Mickey looked to Ian, who was still ignoring him.

“You two make cute couple.” The man said in a thick accent that Mickey couldn’t quiet place. Still, he was distracted by the comment that sent his eyebrows practically flying off his head and to the heavens above.

“The fuck did you just say?” He asked, causing Ian to scoff and hide a small smile playing on his lips as he turned to look outside. The cab driver himself looked a little surprised that he was wrong, and looked apologetically at Mickey.

“So sorry, I normally don’t misjudge.” He waved a dismissive hand.

“Well you’re way off,” Mickey mumbled, feeling a little too odd to even try to intimidate the man in driving the car. Luckily, they pulled to the street corner and they two got out, spotting Tony and a heavier man with a scar across his face. Ian gave the man money and smiled as the two walked off, heading towards the men already outside the restaurant.

“Mickey!” Tony waved as he looked to the red-head next to him, “holy fuck Ian! What are you doing here?” He smiled as Ian quickly hugged him.

“Wait you two know each other?” Mickey asked in surprise as Tony nodded happily.

“Yeah I went out with his sister when he was really young. It obviously didn’t last but god I grew up around this kid. It’s good to see you again Ian.” He smiled, making Ian nod a bit, still not talking, even to someone he’d known for so long. “Anyways this is Sean, an old pal of mine that used to run with the sort of crowd that Kevin described.”

“Let’s talk.” Sean said roughly as the group moved towards a reserved table, “I cut straight to the point. You’re in deep shit kid. These guys aren’t people to fuck around with, trust me. If they want you dead they’ll succeed. Run by the name “the faceless”. That’s usually because they wear masks when they kill people, in case someone got out and wanted to rat on them, which hasn’t happened yet.”

“You know much more about them?” Mickey’s voice was stern and no longer as soft as it was around Ian. Ian figured this must be Mickey’s mafia mode kicking in. 

“Sorry kid, I don’t know where they’re at anymore, but I know another ex-member in Chicago. He goes by the name Gus, and got out not too long after me. He’d know more about what’s going on right now.” Sean leaned back and crossed his arms. “That’s all.” He said, quickly standing up, “Good luck kid.”

“Where the fuck is he going?” Mickey turned to Tony, who was also quickly standing. 

“We can’t stay long in case you’re being watched. Look,” he turned and glanced at Ian, “Be careful you two. I’d hate to see either of you get hurt because of this. And call your sister Ian, she misses you.” 

 

-

 

“That was fucking bullshit.” Mickey said, loosening the tie from around his neck, “The fucker has me fly out here and sits for two whole minutes before fucking bailing on me? Who the fuck does he think he is! I paid how much fucking money for two fucking plane tickets to get out here, and he fucking walks off?” He looked to Ian who was watching him from the other side of the room, still not talking, which only caused Mickey to angrily sigh and turn around for a second. It was only a few seconds later when a timid hand touched his shoulders, causing him to snap back around. “This was pretty much a damn waste of time. And your ass does nothing; you’re like dead weight!”

“Sorry,” Ian mumbled so quietly that Mickey almost didn’t even hear him, but the noise caught him by surprise, because finally Ian had said something, after two days of silence. 

“What?” Mickey asked, more in surprise than anything.

“I’m sorry.” He said in a cracked voice, his eyes starting to water, “I’d never seen anything like that before and I thought…” a tear spilled as he took a small step backwards, “I thought maybe you got hurt and I ran in and the body. I’ve… I’ve never seen anything like that before and I didn’t know what to do, he was so torn up and I-” Mickey watched, unsure of what to do as the boy in front of him started to cry. Slowly, he reached out and touched a finger to Ian’s chin, causing him to look up into Mickey’s worried blue eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

“What?” Ian asked in surprised. 

“I didn’t want you to see that shit. I’m sorry you did see it though. I’m sorry I yelled at you for being freaked out too, but I was getting annoyed by the silence. I don’t like silence ok? Whenever it was silent in my house growing up it was never good news. It still freaks me out a bit I guess. So, I’m sorry Red.” He said softly, dropping his hand to his side as Ian paused, the silence growing once more. This was different though. Ian’s eyes were searching Mickey’s face with an intensity that almost made the shorter boy squirm. And all too quickly Mickey didn’t get the chance to be angry or squirm, because Ian grabbed the front of the tie around his neck and yanked him forward, causing their lips to meet.

For a second, Mickey was taken back, only to become distracted by just how soft Ian’s lips were. And he felt his eyes close as his hands slid to Ian’s chest, their lips moving together as Ian stepped forwards a bit more. And just as quickly as it started, Mickey was using his hand to push Ian back, letting confusion settle on the boy’s face as Mickey stared at him with wide eyes, a look Ian had never seen on him, but he recognized it. 

Fear. 

And Mickey was running from the hotel room, his coat in hand.


	5. 5.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's officially a playlist to go with this story. 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/user/vknapp64/playlist/3gaKKUP8PMIPNC0Pu4oLri

Mickey didn’t come back to the hotel room until the day of their flight home. He walked in, pretending to even to see Ian, let alone listen to his apologizes. Mickey wouldn’t even acknowledge him as they checked out and made their way to the airport. He ignored him as they boarded and didn’t so much as bat an eye when Ian’s anxiety acted up on the plane again. He wasn’t pissed exactly, but had so much going through his mind that he refused to let Ian distract him. 

Firstly, they still had to figure out who the fuck these masked people are and what they fuck they have to do with the Milkovich family. He didn’t recognize the name of the group, but obviously they were dangerous and smart. On top of that, he was notified that activity in the last few days had dropped to an almost scarily quiet level.

Secondly, Ian was fucking with his mind. Mickey wasn’t stupid, he knew that he kissed Ian back, wanted to kiss Ian back, but he didn’t want to think about that. He knew that this kiss was probably distracting him from the main issue they were facing, but if he could just push it down he would. Every time his mind started to wonder back to the moment their lips touched, it was like he was fifteen all over again and he wasn’t ready to relive that moment over. He probably wouldn’t ever be ready to live it over. Either way, it was a constant reminder, and his music was doing a shitty job at drowning out not only his thoughts but the anxiety he felt from Ian with every passing moment that he refused to look at the red-head. 

The anxiety seemed to continue all the way to the apartment where Ian seemed to have given up on trying to get Mickey to act normal. Mickey wanted normal, it that was even a thing in his life anymore. However, normal meant that Ian wouldn’t be here. Normal meant a few drug deals here and there. Normal meant no murders. Nothing in Mickey’s life seemed to be normal anymore and all of it seemed to fall back to the red-head, who’d slipped into his life with a coffee and bad pick-up lines. 

“You ever gonna talk to me? The whole ignoring me thing is getting kind of old Mickey,” Ian sighed, rolling his suitcase into his room as he talked, only to return and glare at Mickey like none of this was his fault. Ian wasn’t stupid either, he knew that all of this was his fault. He was the one that had kissed Mickey. 

“Not ignoring you Red.” Mickey sighed, causing Ian to roll his eyes.

“Well, you could’ve fooled me,” Ian threw back, “Seriously Mickey you’ve been ignoring me since… since I kissed you.” 

“Let’s get something straight here Red,” Mickey said, his voice harsher than before, “You and me, it’s never gonna happen. You can’t go around kissing me whenever you please, got it? I can’t have you doing that shit, or you’ll be out of here so fast it’ll give your ass whiplash. The sooner you accept it ain’t happening, the better off you’ll be.” Ian paused, a look of surprise crossing his face. That and hurt, all mixing in a maelstrom of emotions. For a small second, Mickey almost felt guilty for being so harsh, but then he remembered who he was protecting here. He’d promised himself a long time ago that he wouldn’t let himself get hurt again. 

“Fine,” Ian said softly, turning towards his room, “I get it.”

 

-

 

Mandy wasn’t at all surprised when Mickey called her, sounding more exhausted than usual and told her he was coming over. They’d been the closest of the siblings growing up, closely followed by Iggy, who was just overall likeable. It’d become a sort of tradition growing up that if either one needed to talk about something, they’d get high then they’d get drunk. Usually if that didn’t help the hangover would act as a distraction in the morning. Still, when Mickey did show up, even Mandy was thrown off a bit. To the normal person, he’d look tired and maybe a little annoyed, but to Mandy he looked like hell. 

Mickey was the sort of person to always have his appearance kept up. He said that it was better for business, helped people take him seriously despite how young he looked, a technique he’d been using for the last 7 years of his life. So, when he showed up with his hair greasy and not in place, dark circles under his eyes, and his skin more pale than usual, she knew something had happened. Because the last time she’d seen him like this was when he was only a kid, and he hadn’t left his room for a good week. 

“Jesus, you look like shit,” Mandy sighed, causing Mickey to let out a bitter laugh.

“I feel like shit. You gonna let me in?” She nodded and opened the door further, allowing her brother to step through the door. 

“I have some weed on the table, but I’m all out of alcohol at the moment.” She said, making Mickey let out a small laugh as he headed straight for the counter and immediately started rolling a joint. Mandy knew better than to push him right away, she knew that he needed to loosen up a bit before he would say anything to her. 

The tradition started that summer, back when everything went down in their family. The summer itself had been shit, with their father just out of prison for the second time. As it came to the close, around early August, Mickey had turned fifteen. Most of the family went on a run that was meant to last a lot longer tha it did. Of course, the older brothers all left to go get celebratory drinks, but their father wanted to get home and watch the Cubs game. Mandy didn’t care for drinks, nor was she old enough, so she tagged along home. After what happened that day, Mandy was sure she’d never see Mickey smile again. Now, his face held the same look that it did those seen years ago, and that scared the shit out of Mandy.

Mickey lit the roll and inhaled like his life depended on it, his muscles immediately relaxing as he let out the breath. 

“What happened?” Mandy asked softly, “and don’t bullshit me Mick, I know that look. Something bad happened, so what was it?” He looked up, meeting her eyes as he frowned. 

“Red kissed me,” he said softly, “and I kissed back.” Of all the people that Mickey trusted in the world, his sister was at the very top of the list. She’d been one of the only people that’d figured out Mickey wasn’t into girls. Then again, it’s not like she figured out all on her own. Either way, she accepted that about him, and for that he was thankful he had her. 

“Shit, what happened?” Mandy asked, leaning to grab the joint for herself.

“I got outta there as fast as I could.” Mickey sighed, running a hand through his hair, “I didn’t know what else to do. I panicked and left until our flight.”

“Have you at least talked about it?” Mandy asked, raising an eyebrow as Mickey looked at her through surprised eyes.

“Fuck no, I’ve barely said anything to him.”

“Mick, you should just talk to the guy. I’m not stupid, he’s good looking and sweet from what Iggy’s said. Look, do you like the guy?” She said simply. Mickey paused, not entirely sure of what to say to that.  
“I don’t know.” 

“Bullshit Mick.” She said softly, “if someone is stupid enough to go for you with all the shit you’re involved in, knowingly, then why the hell would you let that go so easily? Look… I can’t fix this for you. Figure out what the hell you want and go for it Mickey. You can’t live your whole life scared of a dead man.”

 

-

 

Mickey stumbled into the apartment roughly two hours later, having decided not to come back until he made up his mind. He decided that for everyone’s best interest he wasn’t going to continue whatever him and Ian had going on between them. It’d be better for both of them to just move on from the situation. This way he was protecting them both. Like Mickey’s told Iggy multiple times, he wasn’t built for relationships. It wasn’t something that he could do in his line of work. 

So, he stumbled in, his mind still a little gone when he opened the door. The first thing he noticed was the lack of light. Normally, it seemed that Ian barely slept, instead watching TV until he fell asleep, but tonight there was no TV light. In fact, there was no light at all in the apartment. It was pitch black, but even if Ian was sleeping, Mickey was determined to let him know his decision. He took a breath and marched to his bedroom, opening the door. 

To his surprised though, the room was completely empty, with his bed completely made, a small not laying on top. Filled with shock, Mickey walked slowly to the note and lifted it up, reading the words left on it. ‘Went to talk to Svet, then going home. Sorry, Ian.’ Mickey wasn’t sure what possessed him, but in the next few moments he was running out of the apartment and towards the café. 

Ian was actually stupid enough to go to the café or to his own apartment, which was almost certainly a trap. There was no doubt that those places were going to be watched, and Ian was walking right into it. Without thinking this kid was going to get himself killed. 

And Mickey was on the street running as fast as he could to that café a few blocks away. By the time he reached it, Svetlana was locking the doors, obviously ready to leave and go home for the day, however, Ian was nowhere to be seen. 

“Ian here?” Mickey yelled as he approached, causing Svetlana to look up and send a distasteful look in his direction. 

“No, Carrot Boy has not been back for a while. You take him to different state and lose my employee.” She eyed him up and down, crossing her arms, “tell me hobbit man, why do you hand out with Carrot Boy? First time you come and he talks to you, you turn him down. So why is it you look for him now? Why do you and other brother hang by my shop?” She asked, causing Mickey to shake his head.  
“I don’t have time for this right now. I’m trying to help the kid, but I need to know where he went,” Mickey pleaded, a fear digging in his gut that he was too late.

“I don’t trust you,” Svetlana narrowed her eyes, only looking up as the sound of sirens went off. An ambulance rushed by the café, causing Mickey to turn quickly and watch, only to feel his heart drop just as it turned down the street that Ian’s apartment lay on. Without another word to the Russian, who was no help at all, Mickey took off running again, trying to get to the apartment building as fast as he possibly could. His lungs were on fire at this point and his legs held a dull ache from not running since he was younger, but all he could focus on was the idea that Ian could be dead.

With a skid Mickey rounded the corner, and as suspected the ambulance was parked out front, people rushing in and out of the building. His legs were moving faster than before as he made it to the door, a few cops blocking his way. If he’d been smarter he would have left the moment he saw the police, but his mind was racing, and instead he was trying to get through the door.

“Hey kid you can’t go in there,” one of them said, an arm held out in front of Mickey, stopping him from entering the building. “They’re moving a body outta here. Come back later.” Mickey paused, trying to avoid the cop’s eyes in hopes of not being recognized.

“What apartment?” He asked softly, trying to keep his voice together.

“Shit kid I don’t know,” he sighed before turning to his partner who was slightly more into the building, “hey who’s the dead person?” 

“Some red-head. Body was found by a neighbor tryna drop something off. Door was unlocked. Body’s not even a few hours old, it’s still warm.” Mickey stumbled back at those words, walking away as fast as he could as he felt his stomach twist in ways he didn’t think possible anymore. He knew he needed to get out of the area before a pair of smarter police showed up and recognized him, but his mind was spinning. In a stumbled he grabbed his phone from his pocket and quickly dialed Iggy’s number.

“Heyo Mick. What’s up?” He was practically laughing into the phone and Mickey could hear giggling in the background. Figures Iggy would be hooking up with someone before dinner even.

“Ig,” Mickey whispered, his voice sounding different than it usually did, and Mickey could hear shuffling before the line went quiet.

“Mick? Hey what’s going on? Where are you?” He said softly.

“Iggy please come get me. I’m… I’m at Ian’s place. He’s…” Mickey paused, walking into an alley so he could lean back against the wall and take a breath, trying to recollect himself. “I need to leave. There’s cops.” 

“I’m already on my way Mick.” The phone clicked and Mickey shoved his phone back into his pocket, running his hands through his hair. His heart was beating so fast that he could feel it in his throat. His stomach was lurching, but despite the sickness he somehow felt numb, like this was all a dream he was supposed to wake up from. Shit, he’d wasted weeks trying to protect Ian, only to fuck it up. Iggy’s car pulled up outside the apartments, and Mickey took up, hopping into the passenger seat as Iggy drove off, sparing occasional looks at Mickey. 

“He’s dead,” Mickey finally said, his voice bitter as they drove towards Mickey’s apartment. “Fuck. I was supposed to watch him, and I fucked it all up to go get high.” 

“Hey, that’s not your fault Mickey. You didn’t fucking murder the kid.” Iggy said, pulling the car up outside. 

“I’m the reason he left the apartment.” Mickey sighed, taking a breath before opening the door and getting out of the car before his brother could pull a therapist act. Iggy could never let people leave upset. It was in his nature to try and make people feel better about shit.

Mickey didn’t want to feel better. He needed a drink and then a gun to kill the fucker that’s been coming after them.

 

-

 

Mickey was pouring himself a drink when he heard the front door open and close, causing him to sigh. “Iggy, I swear to god I don’t want to talk about it. I want to put a bullet in the fucker’s head.” He called out, earning a small chuckle from the next room that was nowhere near high enough to be Iggy’s laugh. Mickey slowly set the drink down and grabbed his gun as footsteps grew closer to the kitchen, and a body rounded the corner. The boy caught sight of the gun, causing him to jump back a bit.

“You gonna keep pulling guns on me?” Ian asked, a little confused. 

“Red?” Mickey asked, blinking to be sure he wasn’t going crazy, “You’re alive? What the fuck?” He asked, slowly putting his gun down as he looked at Ian.

“Yes?” He asked confused, “Why wouldn’t I be?” But Mickey was moving forwards, and his eyes were wondering over every inch of Ian’s face. And maybe for a second Ian thought maybe Mickey would kiss him, but instead a hand hit the side of his face and a fist hit his chest, causing him to fall back a little confused. “What the fuck?!” He yelled, causing Mickey to stare at him angrily.

“I thought you were fucking dead! The note and you fucking leave! And I get home and find an ambulance at your house and cops telling me some red-head was found dead!” Mickey screamed, pushing Ian with his hands, shoving him into the living room.

“Fuck off Mickey! It was Mrs. Sanders, the old lady next door! I got the call earlier, and turned back around.” He said angrily, his face turning red from the yelling. 

“Where the fuck were you!” Mickey screamed, backing up a bit. Ian’s eyes widened then narrowed as he spoke. 

“I was going home. The one I grew up in when I heard she died. I came back. Why the fuck would you care, I thought you wanted me gone anyways?” He said, his voice laced with venom. Mickey ran a hand through his hair and backed off.

“I don’t.” Ian rolled his eyes, storing off to the room he’d been using lately, and slamming the door closed. Mickey wasn’t letting on all that he felt, he never did, but that didn’t fix the situation at all. In the living room, Mickey leaned back against the wall opposite of his room and slid down it, staring at the white doorway. Ian was alive. In the bedroom, Ian too was staring at the door between them. It was him who jumped when a knock came softly on it. 

He sighed and stood from his bed and opened the door to reveal Mickey, his hair falling in his face as he looked anxiously over Ian’s face.

“I do care.” He mumbled, grabbing the collar of Ian’s shirt before he slammed their lips together, causing Ian to react immediately. He reached up, grabbing the sides of Mickey’s face as he turned them into the room, pushing Mickey up against the nearest wall, their lips never leaving one another. Mickey’s fingers were digging into Ian’s side so hard it was practically drawing blood but Ian could only focus on the boy in front of him.

And Mickey was gripping to reality, every so often whispering ‘You’re ok.’


	6. 6.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “See, I didn't mean too, but somewhere along the way I grew a mouth like a cannon, so the next time you ran in and out of my secret lives I'd have some knives of my own I could throw. And I know my aim is getting better because now I can say your name in a prayer. It's right there, next to the Hallelujah…  
> And the goodbye.” – Let Me Go, by Shane Koyczan

Ian wasn’t surprised when he woke up to a cold spot in the bed next to him, because the sheets hadn’t been touched by anyone else. He remembered the feeling of Mickey pressing their lips together. He remembered the feeling of Mickey’s hair tangled into his fingers which lay against the cold wood of the wall. He remembered the look in Mickey’s eyes as they wondered over Ian’s face. He remembered the cold feeling as Mickey left for his living room, remanence of the same look he held in that hotel room sitting upon his face. 

Ian woke up alone because he’d fallen asleep alone, and that didn’t surprise him at this point. Despite the fact that Mickey left grip marks on Ian’s side, a reminder that it wasn’t a dream, Mickey had once again been fast to leave the area. This time was slightly different though because Ian had noticed the fear, but there was something else there. Relief. That played into the fact that Mickey seemed to think Ian had died, only to discover he was in fact very alive.

Sighing, Ian rolled and slid off the bed, his side stinging the slightest bit, as he made his way to the door. Opening it, he smiled a little at the sight in front of him. Mickey had fallen asleep on the couch, his mouth hanging open as he snored the slightest amount. He was curled up under a crap ton of blankets, despite the working heater in the apartment, and his face was for once, completely at rest. It was a nice change to see on Mickey, who was usually someone to worry about everything. Ian couldn’t help but grin at the sight as he made his way to the kitchen to start breakfast. 

He'd only been here a short time but something Ian quickly discovered was that Mickey didn’t really cook for himself. His idea of a meal consisted of take out and beer or water. His fridge was almost always empty unless Mandy dropped off some stuff. Due to the lack of food recently though, Ian had taken it upon himself to pass Mandy money whenever he could to buy food that he could actually cook for the two of them. The most usual he made for breakfast was eggs, a favorite of Mickey’s. As Ian reached for the eggs to start whipping up, his phone started to buzz on the counter, flashing up with his brother’s name. 

He quickly answered, a part of him dying to hear from a family member again. The one that seemed to call him the most was Lip, closely followed by Debbie and Liam. Ian had moved out at eighteen after he cleaned up his act and got a job. For a while he stayed with Svetlana who was more than welcoming, and got his own apartment. His brother, now 25 was the first to get out of the house though, getting a job for some engineering firm in the northside. Fiona, who was almost thirty was ready to get Carl and Liam out of the house, almost cutting ties with everyone in an attempt to “reinvent herself”. Now that Carl was eighteen and Liam ten though, it wouldn’t be long until it was just Liam and his sister in the house. 

“Hey,” Ian sighed, already feeling relief sweep over him as he heard the train in the background of the phone. Lip must be on his way to work. 

“Don’t hey me, what the hell Ian?” Lip asked, “I thought you were coming for a visit? I told everyone, not that Fiona cared much with her new guy. Fuck if I can remember which one it is this time. All that shit about seasons change but people don’t, right?” 

“Old habits die hard,” Ian offered, making Lip chuckle on the other line, “It still that prick from New York?” 

“Nah she’s through with him. I guess she cheated on him with one of the older boyfriends. I think she’s onto some guy that’s supposed to be ‘good for her’ and all that. If you ask me she’s only with him because he has money.” Lip sighed, making Ian chuckle a bit. 

“That sounds like our Fi.” 

“Yeah. Seriously though what’s up with you dude, I thought you were coming down? Debbie was super excited. Wanted to show off her new boyfriend as well. Honestly, what’s up with the girl’s in this family?” 

“Like you’re one to talk. I’m surprised you haven’t caught something.” Ian laughed.

“Fuck off,” Lip sighed, and Ian could practically feel him rolling his eyes on the other end of the phone.

“Sorry about not showing up though. Things… changed.” Ian said softly, cracking an egg into a pan he was rummaging for and watching it sizzle as it started to cook. 

“Changed? The fuck does that mean?” He could hear the train stop in the background and Lip was suddenly somewhere much quieter. 

“It means I’m not currently at home. Some… stuff came up. I’m staying with… a friend?” He tried.

“Well that doesn’t sound convincing in the slightest. What kind of stuff? You’re not in trouble, are you? The last time you said you were staying with a friend you winded up sleeping on the streets and working at a strip club. You’ll forgive me if I don’t believe you at all.” Ian didn’t blame Lip. He had been in a bad place a while back, trying to convince everyone, including himself that he was ok. Luckily, he’d had people to help him sort his shit out, but Lip had always kept a close eye on him since. 

“I’m actually staying with a friend.” Ian confirmed, “Some stuff went down a few weeks ago though and he’s giving me a safe place to crash for a while.” 

“By stuff please tell me you didn’t get caught up with drugs. I refuse to let you get into as much shit as Frank did growing up.” Lip said.

“No, I just… I got held at knife point.”

“Shit,” Lip sighed, “You’re ok, right?” 

“Yeah the guy I’m staying with helped me.” Ian confirmed, smiling as he heard his brother let out a breath of relief on the other end of the phone call.

“Can I help in any way?” Lip asked. Ian was suddenly thankful that unlike his sister, Lip had always been there for his family. He never let them down, and always followed through on things. 

“Actually,” Ian paused. “Could you look into someone for me? I need you to look into Tony and a guy named Sean. He used to be a part of a gang from down here. It’d mean a lot.” He asked nicely, putting the eggs he’d made onto a plate for Mickey.

“Yeah. I’ll call you soon Ian. Be careful ok?”

“Got it.” And just like that the phone call was over and that lonely uncomfortableness creeped back. Home to him had always been a bit iffy, being moved around a lot into different homes growing up whenever Frank fucked up or CPS was called on them. Home had eventually become family, wherever they may all be at the time. 

“You shouldn’t get him involved,” A voice said behind him, causing Ian to turn and find Mickey leaning against the entrance to the kitchen, his arms crossed and a scowl on his face once more. Any sign of peace completely erased. 

“Too late for that. Did I wake you up?” Ian sighed, handing the plate of eggs to him, which momentarily helped ease the frown that was etched into Mickey’s every feature. 

“No. The eggs did. I smelt it from the living room.” He mumbled, rubbing a hand on his neck, which made Ian pause.

“You know if you want your bed I can sleep on the couch.” He offered, causing Mickey to roll his eyes as he started to eat his breakfast.

“Fat chance. Your long ass legs won’t even fit on it Red.” He mumbled. He shoveled another bite into his mouth, and for a moment Ian stopped just to watch him. Mickey had been the one to initiate that kiss last night, and now it was like it’d never even happened. Mickey was definitely a bit high, but he wasn’t drunk last night, and Ian knew he remembered what happened. It didn’t take long for Mickey to finish up and move to put his plate in the sink, completely breezing past Ian, who was actually a bit annoyed. He scoffed, throwing a rag he held in his hand onto the counter as he turned to walk away. Mickey grabbed his arm.

“What the fuck Red?” He asked, obviously confused by Ian’s sudden anger. 

“Don’t Mickey.” He said, his voice soft yet somehow angry, causing Mickey to narrow his eyes, obviously not used to people talking back to him. 

“The hell are you on about?” He asked, his voice dangerously sharp as Ian met his eyes, ripping his arm out of the shorter boy’s grasp.

“Don’t pretend like that kiss didn’t happen. Don’t fucking ignore me and act like everything is ok, because your shit is getting a bit old. All you are is hot and cold. Make up your mind.” He said, causing Mickey to pause. Ian turned to leave, only to be grabbed and pushed against the counter, Mickey grasping both sides of his face as their lips met in a hungry kiss. Ian barely had time to react before Mickey pulled away, his eyes narrowed.

“I know where I stand. I’m not pretending shit.” He whispered, his eyes locked on Ian’s lips that hung slightly open. Ian was ready to kiss him again as the door to the apartment burst open, causing the two to jump apart. Mickey nervously ran a thumb over his lip and Ian watched as Mandy and Iggy walked into the kitchen.

“Ok either Ian is alive or I can see ghosts.” Iggy mumbled, looking over Ian before turning to Mickey, “You see him too, right?” 

“Yes dumbass,” Mickey sighed, “What the fuck are you two doing here?”

“I’m here for Ian,” Mandy shrugged, “I was originally just here to buy you food, but seeing as he’s not dead, I guess he can help.” He looked to Mickey who avoided her eyes, then to Ian whose face was tinted red. Mandy had a shit-eating grin on her face. 

“And dumbass?” Mickey asked, causing Iggy to stop looking shaken up and turn serious.

“We got someone.” He said, causing Mickey to nod, immediately walking out of the kitchen to grab whatever he needed, including a gun taped to the back of his tv and a duffle-bag that Ian wanted to avoid knowing the content of.

“Let’s go.”

 

-

 

Mickey marched into the familiar warehouse with confidence. The place had been cleaned recently by Jamie, but he knew that the blood stains he was so used to would soon cover the floors. Iggy had informed him that the guy they found was an ex member of this group, which didn’t surprise Mickey when he saw him. The man looked like hell, with dark circles under his eyes, which held not even a hint of fear. 

“Morning,” Mickey sighed as he walked in, smiling as Iggy started laying out weapons on the nearby counter top. The man watched him with a scowl. “Now, I hear you know someone that I need to get rid of. We can make this really easy and you can give up the identities, or I can make the next hour of your life feel like a million years.” He dropped his hands onto the arm of the chair, still stained with the blood of their last “client”. “Your choice.”

“Eat shit.” The man replied, a nasty smile covering his face. Mickey frowned.

“Now that’s no way to speak to someone. Tell you what, if you give us the names, maybe I’ll go easy on you.” He tried, but the man didn’t budge.

“Mick, it’s ready.” Iggy said from the back, causing Mickey to stand up straight and circle the chair.

“You know in school I was really good at biology. Kind of a strong suit of mine. Everyone told me to become a doctor, but I knew that wasn’t for me. Still, I liked the subject, learning about the body. Did you know the human body has multiple points in it that are highly intolerant of pain? For example, the eye or the sole of the foot.” He mumbled, heading towards the table where an array of objects sat. Carefully, he picked up a long and thin metal rod with a sharp hook on the end.

“I ain’t saying shit.” The guy held firm to his word. 

“Last chance.” Mickey said, his voice dropping dangerously low as he moved to the side of the man’s head, leaning close to whisper, “tell me what I need to know.” The man responded by turning his head, spitting in Mickey’s face, which only earned him a sharp cut on the side of his neck before Mickey turned to Iggy.

“You heard the man. Hold him still.” He ordered. Iggy nodded, moving to hold the man’s head in place. “There’s another part of the body that feels pain like you’ve never felt before. The ear drum is especially susceptible to pain. It feels like your body is being torn apart from the inside, a burning like never before. It’s said that you won’t even be able to stop a scream, which will only lock your jaw and cause the body to go into shock. Let’s test it, shall we?” He held the man’s head to the side, carefully inserting the metal rod into his ear and digging the hook directly into the ear drum.

The scream could be heard from the street.

 

-

 

“So, you and Mick huh?” Mandy asked, smiling as she grabbed her jacket from her couch. Her apartment was similar to Mickey’s in many ways, but was much cleaner. She had a few more high-end objects as well, but those were all parting gifts from relationships according to her. 

“Maybe,” Ian shrugged, turning to the door with her. They had to grab a few things as it appeared to be ready to snow again. According to Mandy, none of the Milkovich kids did the cold that well. Mandy smiled, walking to pull open the door and leave when she paused. Ian stopped smiling as well, moving to look at what caught her eye as she bent down, grabbing something that lay in the hallway of the apartment building.

From over her shoulder Ian say she held two photographs. One Ian recognized to be from a Fourth of July party a few years ago at the bar he used to work at. The second appeared to be a family photo, each with one thing in common. While Ian recognized the family one to be of the Milkovich siblings and who appeared to be their dad, both pictures had been defiled. Ian’s face, as well as Mickeys, had been circled, an X running through it, made by something that looked all too much like blood. The most disturbing part though, was the eyes of each person in both photos had all been crossed out with a knife. Mandy dropped the pictures, quickly covering her mouth just as Ian caught the last detail.

The M in the corners, written in the same blood.


	7. 7.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “And then there’s you, and I wanna kiss you so bad, that I'd be willing to cut off my own head and just throw it towards you lips, and you'd be well within your rights to just swat it to the floor, but I'd redefine hardcore lying there at the tips of your toes because god knows I'd be trying to figure out some way to roll towards them. And maybe that's crossing the line, maybe that's a little creepy. Did I mention that I like you? If I knew you better than I do, I would know creepy's not the way to go, so how's this? I wanna kiss you like a traffic jam. I wanna move slow, I wanna stop and go like I know at least I'm moving towards you, and there's no use weaving through the gridlock, because every clock keeps poly ticking and tocking to tell me this time for all the amazing in-between that’s been seen and heard and each word that's passed between us.” – Stop Signs, by Shane Koyczan

Mandy dropped the picture, letting it float to the floor, sway back and forth through the air like a feather in the shape of a nightmare. She was quick to move her hand to her mouth and cover it, a strangled cry coming from her lips. The muffled scream was just enough to snap Ian out of the trance his mind had moved into. It was just enough to catch his attention, causing him to immediately grab Mandy into a hug, trying to comfort her as he pushed the door close and pulled her back into the small apartment. The feeling of safety felt only moments before had completely left the room, causing him to lock the apartment door as well. 

Mandy was curled into his chest, shaking some as she gripped Ian’s shirt tightly. He sighed, petting her hair some as he looked around for his phone, not seeing it anywhere in sight. Quietly, he moved Mandy to the couch, sitting her down and looking over the horrified look on her even more pale face.

“Mandy?” He asked quietly, “I need your phone. I’m gonna call Mickey ok?” She looked to him with a blank look before nodding and pointing to her purse which had also fallen to the floor in the minor chaos of the moment. He stood up, leaving her for as little time as he could and grabbed the phone from the inside of the bag. It took him a moment of looking through the contacts to figure that Mickey must have been the name saved as ‘Asshat’. Praying it was indeed the brother he was looking for, Ian hit call and waited a few rings before his wish came true. 

“What the fuck Mandy you know I’m working a job at the moment,” Mickey said angrily, the sound of someone screaming in the background filling the silence in between words and pauses. Ian froze for a moment, wondering if maybe he should have called Joey or Jamie, but it was too late for that now. 

“Mickey?” Ian asked, his voice coming out more worried than he intended it to.

“Red? What-” A scream, followed by a muffled ‘shut him up would you?’. “What’s going on? Are you ok?” He asked quickly, the background immediately much quieter than it was a few seconds before hand. For a fraction of a second Ian wondered what was going on behind the scenes on Mickey’s end of the call. He quickly decided he’d rather not know what was going on.

“Mickey, you need to get to Mandy’s place.” Ian said, looking to the girl who was practically rocking herself back and forth on the couch. The line paused for a moment and Ian could have sworn he heard a whispered cuss on the other end.

“Ok. I’ll be there in ten.” He mumbled, ready to hang up before Ian paused and thought of something else. 

“Mickey wait, don’t use the front door to the building. Come in the back,” he said quietly. Mickey paused for a second, a different sound filling the back as he could hear Mickey sliding on his gigantic coat.

“Yeah… ok Red… Bye.” He mumbled, the phone clicking off as Ian turned back to Mandy, who was completely zoned out, looking at the floor. Ian moved, walking to her side before pulling her back into an embrace.

 

-

 

Mickey’s stomach was in a ball again as him and Iggy made their way to the apartment building. Mickey’s hand had been anxiously tapping on the door handle as they rounded yet another corner. He’d already asked Iggy three times if he could go any faster but he was pushing 70 in a fairly small area, and if they wanted to make it there in one piece there was no way of speeding up the car. 

It didn’t take long to pull up into the alley behind the building, Mickey jumping out of the car all too fast and running to the door. He quickly pulled it open, moving inside the heated building and started running towards the stairs, not caring if Iggy was behind him or not. The door had been broken for years, and according to Mandy was the easiest way to get into the apartment building anyways. Not like her shit attendant would ever bother taking the time or money to actually fix the lock though. 

When he got to Mandy’s he was surprised to find her door locked, causing him to start knocking on it, only for Ian to pull the door open seconds later. For a moment, that tension in Mickey’s stomach eased the moment he saw the familiar red-head unharmed. Following that, the anxiety crept back for his sister as Ian moved to the side and he saw her curled up on the couch. The only time Mickey had ever seen Mandy freak out was the week their mom passed away. Back then she refused to move from the corner of her bed, jumping a little too much if anyone made too much noise or disturbed her. 

“What happened?” Mickey asked, looking to Ian, “You hurt?” he questioned, causing the red-head to look to Mandy on the couch, then reach a hand towards Mickey. Within the hand was a photograph that Mickey took carefully, the knot quickl8y becoming an entire ball in his stomach, quickly rising to his throat. 

“It was left outside the door.” Ian whispered. 

“I’m gonna personally murder whoever did this.” Mickey mumbled, his eyes trailing over the blood to his mother’s face in the photo. She was smiling. God, he missed that smile, only for it to be messed up, her eyes poked out. Thinking, his happy moment diminished the moment he remembered only one copy of the photo existed. One of the only photos left of his mother destroyed before their very eyes. “Fuck, this your copy?” He asked Mandy, looking to her. Each sibling took one photo before they left, but there were only two of their mother. Jamie took a small photo of their grandfather and Joey their grandmother, both of whom the siblings had never met. Mickey knew it wasn’t his, a black and white photo of their mother holding him not long after he was born. 

“Yeah,” Mandy nodded, causing Mickey’s heart to sink more if at all possible. 

“Get your shit, you ain’t staying here anymore.” He said, causing Mandy to nod and stand up, still a bit out of it. There’s no way he was leaving her here if someone had been inside her apartment to take that photo. 

“Mickey, you don’t have room for both of us,” Ian said softly. “Look if you need me out I can go.” Mickey’s eyes snapped up, blue locking with green as he paused. 

“No way in hell Red.” He mumbled, “I’ll figure out something.” 

“Mickey, I can leave if you need to protect your family.” He tried again. 

“Keep talking and you won’t be able to walk out the door. Now shut it and let me fucking think Red,” Mickey narrowed his eyes, causing Ian to let out a breath. He knew that Mickey was already sleeping on the couch, and that bed would barely be big enough to fit two people, not that Mandy and Ian would want to share a bed. On top of that, he remembered that Jamie and Iggy were already living together and Joey had a child and wife to watch out for. 

“Mick?” The two turned to Mandy who had a bag on her back, already overflowing. “I’m ready. I can stay with Uncle Ronnie if I have to,” she mumbled, causing Mickey to shake his head in annoyance.

“No way, that asshole made it perfectly clear he didn’t want any of us back there anymore Mandy.” Mickey groaned as the apartment door opened again and Iggy stepped into the room. “Iggy, you still know that girl, the one with the eyepatch?” Mickey asked, causing Iggy to pause and cringe.

“Nah man she moved like a year ago. Fucking crazy lady too. Threw a brick through my window one day.” He scratched his head awkwardly, causing Mickey to roll his eyes. Ian looked to Mandy who was obviously upset and to Mickey who looked a little lost before he spoke up.

“I think I can help,” He muttered, causing all eyes to snap to him and Mickey to sigh once more.

“Red, I’m not gonna kick you out.” Mickey protested once more before Ian held up a hand.

“I have someone she can stay with.” Ian said softly, catching all of those in the room by surprise, “Svetlana owes me a favor for something I did. She has an extra room I used to stay in and all she ever asks in return is that you help out in the coffee shop.” He promised, causing Mandy to nod.

“Are you sure?” She asked quietly, causing him to nod. 

“Yeah.”

 

-

 

“You want me to do what?” Svetlana narrowed her eyes, looking Mandy over before looking at Ian. 

“Just house her for a while Svet. You owe me this much. I helped you out with that issue a while back and you know very well that this won’t hurt anything. She’s willing to help you when I can’t and you know you need it. As a friend, do this for me.” He said softly, causing Svet to sigh, her expression softening a bit. 

“You are lucky I like you.” Svetlana sighed, “Fine. The little one can stay with me. I expect this to be temporary. I will get bedroom ready. Say your goodbyes for now.” She said, flipping Ian off as his smile crept onto his face. Turning, she disappeared into the coffee shop to go upstairs and prepare the room that was probably being used for storage at the moment. 

The moment she left Ian turned to see three completely different facial expressions looking at him. Iggy was watching Svet disappear, a small smile sitting on his face as she left. Mandy was a mix between relieved and happy, watching Ian with a small smile on her face. Mickey however Ian couldn’t read. He was better at hiding whatever his feelings were, not allowing them to affect him as much. Ian didn’t have a chance to try to analyze it before Mandy rushed forward, pulling Ian into another hug.

“Thank you.” She whispered, catching Ian by surprise because none of the Milkovich siblings seemed like the type to thank anyone for something.

“It’s no problem Mandy. You guys have done this for me, I can only repay it.” He mumbled back, causing her to pull back. She walked over to Iggy and hugged him before turning to Mickey. Like her other brother, she pulled him into hug as well, but she also leaned up, whispering something into his ear which caused him to smile and push her away, his eyes looking to Ian for a split second before she smiled, turning to follow in the direction that Svet went in.

 

-

 

Mickey sighed, moving to grab a beer the moment they entered into the apartment. He was completely exhausted and done with the day. Between the job this morning, which only led him to a mysterious phrase that Mickey couldn’t quite figure out, and the photographs, he was ready to take a nap.

The man refused to say shit until they actually started in on him. After that though, the words came spilling, but he decided to speak in a code. He told them basically what Sean and Tony had. He left them with one phrase though that threw Mickey off a bit, confusing him more than he was previously. ‘It’s in the book’. He’d said. Mickey couldn’t remember a book to save his life though that would even be connected to this. He’d bought a few books, but he’d read them all front to back and nothing odd or family related had ever been seen. 

Then there’s the pictures. Whoever it was that took them had been inside of Mandy’s apartment, obviously knowing more about them than Mickey thought before. He still couldn’t think of why anyone would want to hurt his family though. It was a sort of unspoken rule of Chicago. They never attacked the family.

He wanted to either rack his brain or sleep forever as Ian walked into the kitchen, also moving to grab a beer from the fridge. Ian. God, he’d even pulled through when Mandy needed him. Mickey wasn’t sure what he’d have done if Ian hadn’t been with his sister today. 

“Hey,” he said quietly, causing the red-head to look up, “thank you by the way.” He mumbled, causing Ian’s eyes to widen in surprise. He nodded, closing the fridge and popping the beer open, leaning against the counter near Mickey. 

“It’s no problem.” He said softly. “You’ve helped me a lot Mick. I figured it was about time I thanked you.” Mickey’s eyes locked onto Ian’s his heart beating a little faster at the use of the nickname. His family were the only ones that had ever called him that (mostly because he would have throat punched them if they had uttered the name). Ian said it so naturally though, letting the words fall out of his mouth with so much ease that Mickey didn’t hate it. Mickey almost couldn’t stop the small smile that crept onto his face as he looked at the floor.

“Easy there, freckles,” Mickey mumbled, causing Ian to blush a little, which Mickey almost found adorable. God, this kid was nothing like Mickey had ever seen, because for once he didn’t feel annoyed at someone. It’d taken a mouth of the two practically living together and Mickey wasn’t entirely sure what was going on. Yeah, they’d kissed a few times, but that didn’t make them anything, but fuck if Mickey didn’t look at him and want to kiss him again. 

He looked at Ian, his eyes taking in every freckle and slight discolor on his skin. The light brown of his eyelashes, covering the green eyes that looked almost brown in the shade. The shape of his cheekbones. Yeah, there was no denying that Mickey found Ian attractive, who wouldn’t? But Mickey didn’t do relationships or feelings, and he never would. His eyes landed on Ian’s lips. If this continued happening, what would stop it from spiraling into something neither could control? What would happen when Mickey was done having fun and Ian realized he’d never get a relationship from this?

Every one of those questions faded from Mickey’s mind the moment Ian reached out and took the beer from his hand, setting it on the counter before he grabbed Mickey by the hip and pulled him into a kiss. Fuck, Mickey didn’t do kissing either. It was too intimate, too couply. Ever since California though, Mickey couldn’t stop thinking about kissing Ian. The kiss was like a drug, he took one hit and he needed more. But he was kissing Ian and even though his mind was screaming that he should stop, push him away, and end whatever was going on, Mickey’s heart skipped a beat and his hands tangled into Ian’s red hair. 

And Ian was kissing Mickey’s neck, causing a moan or two to escape from his lips. He should end this before something happens. Ian had him pinned to the counter, Mickey using his hand to brace himself against it because his knees were weak. He should really just stop, because this was just something casual. Mickey was pushing Ian back, causing a moment of horror to cover Ian’s face.

“I’m sorry I thought you were ok with this a-” Ian started to speak before Mickey was pushing him into the living room, knocking him onto the couch. He smirked before walking forward, crawling onto the couch before he straddled Ian’s hips. He should have stopped everything, but all it took was the look on Ian’s face before he slammed their lips together once more. Fuck Mickey should really know better, but his head was fuzzy and all he could focus on was Ian. And Mickey knew that if this happened something worse could arise, but that didn’t stop him.

If Ian was going to change things, he was ready for the storm.

Because the moment Ian grabbed him and pulled him closer, his heart told him something had changed.


	8. 8.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Through bars and bulletproof glass, through mass media and miss information, I am enrolling my lips in the higher education needed to speak your name with the same urgency we heard when we set off fire alarms and Richter scales. In both prisons and jails, I have sat in my cell passing the time of a life sentence by casting shadow puppets of doubt. I have collected the sharp looks you shot to me.” – Insider, by Shane Koyczan

Mickey woke up with the taste of stale beer still sitting on his lips. His neck was hurting due to the position he slept in and his head was spinning with memories from the night before. He’d kissed Ian again. God, just the thought of those words sent his heart fluttering and his stomach flipping in ways he hadn’t felt in so long. He’d kissed Ian a lot actually. They’d been making out on the couch for a good thirty minutes when Mickey realized that he didn’t want to hook with Ian just yet. He didn’t want to hit the moment that they couldn’t turn back. 

Mickey hated the idea of relationships, and he might always feel that way. It was too much to care for someone else in that way, opening yourself up to them. It was a type of vulnerability that he didn’t grow up showing the way normal people did. He used to, they all did, when their mom was still alive. She’d been caring and never let them bottle up their feelings. When she passed away it was like everything took a complete 180. Their father never let them show anything but ager it seemed. If you were vulnerable you wouldn’t have made it in their family. If you were angry though at least you were able to survive. It seemed like that’s all they’d been doing since. Surviving.

Mickey groaned and sat up, needing a cigarette. He slid from his pile of blankets on the couch and moved to his jacket sitting on the kitchen table, searching the pockets before he found a pack. He hated thinking about the area he grew up in, always made his sin itch in a way he didn’t like. He pulled out a cigarette and walked to the kitchen, opening the window and leaning again the counter before he lit it and inhaling. He was still in the south side, that hadn’t changed, but his father was dead and there was no way he was coming back. 

He wanted to believe he was safe, but he wasn’t stupid. Mickey was involved in just as much shit as his father was, even if he conducted himself different. He’d worked off the family business to get him to where he was now, and there was barely anyone that could turn around after that. If you’d have asked him ten years ago where he’d be now, he’d have said music industry. He had dreams to be a producer since he was a kid. If he thought hard enough he could almost hear the sound of his mother playing guitar and singing softly to him in Ukrainian. He wondered what ever happened to that old beat up guitar she said her father had given her. He’d never met his grandfather, but her mom carried a photo around of the man. It almost made him wish they’d gotten in touch before it was too late. 

“Fuck,” he sighed, breathing out and watching the air swirl in front of him before being sucked out of the window. He rubbed his eyes, already feeling them sting from the smoke. At least, that’s what he’d blame it on. He paused when he heard a small creak from behind him, not turning around as he said, “gotta be sneakier than that Red.” Earning a small chuckle, he felt two arms snake around his waist, laying half way on his stomach, half way on the lining of his sweat pants. 

“I’m not stupid enough to try and scare you.” Ian mumbled, resting his chin on Mickey’s shoulder. Mickey should have pushed him away, expecting the claustrophobic feeling that usually started in his chest to start. It never came. Mickey supposed he’d blame that on the fact that him and Ian haven’t slept together. This wasn’t some random morning after a hookup. In fact, Mickey felt himself lean back into Ian a bit as he took another drag and let out a small laugh.

“I wouldn’t put it pass you.” He said softly, a small smile creeping onto his face as he felt Ian leave a ghost of a kiss on his shoulder, the skin burning in that spot shortly after.

“You’ve almost shot me like four times Mickey.” He reminded him, causing Mickey’s smile to grow as he reached for the ash tray on his counter and stubbed out the cigarette. 

“You provoked me.” Mickey said softly, turning in Ian’s arms to face the red-head. Ian’s smile grew as he looked as Mickey’s face. 

“You’re not going to shoot me if I ask what’s wrong, are you?” Ian said, causing Mickey to huff a breath before he twisted out of Ian’s embrace and walked to grab a beer. “You looked like you were thinking about something pretty heavy back there. And I know it wasn’t the case because I’ve been here a month and I haven’t seen you ever look that upset Mick.” Mickey sighed, immediately regretting putting out that cigarette as he looked up at Ian.

“Don’t worry about it Red.” He warned, narrowing his eyes. Ian sighed, grabbing the beer from Mickey like he did last night before he looked into the boy’s eyes.

“You don’t have to hide from me.” He said softly, causing Mickey to try and move away, only to be stopped. “One thing. Just trust me with one thing and watch. I’m not going to fucking run away Mickey.” He sighed, causing Mickey to pause and his eyebrows to fly up his face.

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” he asked, only causing Mickey to sigh. Ian was definitely referring to the hotel room. He looked up into Ian’s eyes, the deep shade of green, looking for any doubt in them. He didn’t find any. “Fine.” He whispered, catching Ian as well as himself by surprise. Ian hesitated before letting himself back away.

“Ok…”

“My mom.” Mickey said, rubbing his eyes with his thumb and index finger, “I was thinking about her before she died. She used to uh… play guitar for me.” He dropped his hand, walking to his jacket to grab his wallet out of it. Opening it, he pulled out the small black and white photograph, hesitantly handing it over to Ian who looked at it with sad eyes.

“This all you have left of her?” Ian asked, looking up to Mickey who paused. Slowly, Mickey’s eyes widened as he took the photograph back and shoved it back into the pocket in the wallet. Ian could only watch in confusion as Mickey started frantically opening cabinets in the kitchen. “Uh Mickey? What are you doing?”

“Red you’re a fucking genius.” He smiled, finally opening the last cabinet and grabbing an old book from the bottom shelf. Ian eyed it questioningly as Mickey started flipping through the pages, starting to ramble quietly as he did so. “It’s my mom’s cookbook. She got it from my grandma and I was supposed to give it to my uncle but that rude fucker told us not to visit again so I kept it. Look, here.” He whispered as Ian stood up to find what Mickey was looking at. 

In the middle of the cookbook was a photo that looked much older than it probably was. It was black and white, a seemingly normal group photo. In the top right Mickey’s eyes landed on his mother, holding his father’s hand. She had a million-watt smile on her face, and he looked mildly less hateful than Mickey remembered him to be. A few other people Mickey remembered also gathered into the photo, including his uncle, a few cousins, and Sean. He did a double take, looking over the man whose face didn’t hold that scar. He was smiling surrounded by a few other guys, all laughing. Mickey slowly flipped the photo over, his heart racing as he looked over the names on the back, all written in his mother’s handwriting. Five names were scribbled out, including Sean’s. 

“Holy shit.” Ian mumbled, looking at the photo that Mickey was holding so delicately as if it was about to break. He thought everything of his mothers was gone, and yet here was this photo collecting dust in his cabinet all along. Mickey turned to Ian, his face hardening. 

“We gotta go visit my uncle.”

 

-

 

“You have any idea where we can waste a few hours?” Mickey turned to Ian and Mandy as he sighed. They’d taken an early trip on the L, only to discover his uncle had gone on a run, not to be back until the afternoon. Mandy shrugged, answering a text on her phone from Svetlana. It seemed the two actually hit it off as friends in the short period Mandy had been staying with her, but despite that needed a bit of time with her family. 

“We can stop by my sister’s house.” Ian suggested, a little frustrated that their lead wasn’t even home at the moment to help them out. “My brother and everyone else are visiting. I told him to look into what’s been going on and see if he could find anything.” 

“You think he did?” Mickey asked, immediately turning to follow Ian down the house’s steps and walk down the road towards their new destination. 

“I wouldn’t put it past him. The guy is some sort of fucking prodigy.” Ian said, watching Mickey nod a bit. It wasn’t until they turned the corner down the street that both Mandy and Mickey hesitated. The Gallagher house set at the end of the street, not even a full five-minute walk away from the exact home that Mickey and his sister grew up in. And suddenly it was all too real. It felt as if he was a teenager all over again, walking home from robbing the local convenience store. It was a time capsule from hell that never seemed to leave this area. You could leave the south side but it would cling to a part of you like a leach. 

It wasn’t long until the three walked up to a small and broken-down house. The steps were a bit sideways, along with the building itself. From inside they could hear dull music and laughing. Ian sighed, walking up the steps and pushing the door open, letting the loud music flow out as the three entered the house. It took a moment through all of the commotion but Lip was the first to look up, a smile covering his face, which soon caught the attention of the others.

“Holy shit. Look who decided to show up,” Kevin smiled from the couch, moving to stand up and give Ian a pat on the shoulder. His eyes then landed on Mickey, his face pausing in confusion for a moment before it all seemed to click and his skin turned a shade lighter.

“Hey dude, you finally decide to stop blowing us off?” Lip laughed, getting off the couch to hug Ian, shortly followed by a Debbie then Fiona, who despite her surprise looked excited. After they all stopped, it was only the smallest Gallagher who ran over, hugging Ian’s waist and giggling. Ian immediately reached down and picked Liam up, flipping him upside down and smiling.

“Hey kiddo,” he laughed as the kid started giggling even more. From behind him, Mandy started smiling, and if Mickey hadn’t felt so uncomfortable, he might have too. 

“Where the hell have you been?” Fiona smiled, earning a scoff from Lip. She didn’t seem to care when she got her last boyfriend where any of her family were. It seemed even now though that the new one was missing from the party. 

“I’ve been working. That café outside of Canaryville. I told you about it when I left.” He said, earning a slightly disapproving look from Fiona. 

“Who’s that?” Liam asked as Ian set him down, pointing to Mickey and Mandy, who were awkwardly standing behind him. Finally, Ian smiled, turning to the siblings to introduce them to his family.

“This is Mandy and her brother Mickey.” He supplied. V looked at the two from her stop next to Kevin, or rather on his lap, in the arm chair. Slowly, she looked between them before whispering a ‘holy shit’.  
“Ya’ll are the Milkovich kids, aren’t you?” V asked, looking quickly between them. “Shit, you guys grew up.” 

“Wait,” Lip held up a hand, speaking around the cigarette in his mouth. “You’ve been staying with the Milkovich kids?” 

“Yeah, I have a name asshole,” Mickey frowned. 

“Yeah I know. I’m just surprised my brother is staying with known criminals.” Lip shrugged, but despite his words, his eyes had never left Mandy. They weren’t judging though, just taking in her appearance. 

“Fuck off,” Ian sighed, earning yet another disapproving look from his sister. The tension in the room had obviously risen, but all it took was little Liam to break the silence that had fallen over the angry group.

“You’re pretty,” he mumbled to Mandy, who immediately broke into a smile. Debbie nodded, and Mickey decided he liked those two siblings the best. Unfortunately, judging by the lack of guys in the room it seemed the asshole was the so-called prodigy child. Mickey frowned more until the smaller one walked over to Mickey and grabbed his hand, taking the Milkovich boy by surprise. “Come play with me!” He said excitedly, and before he got a word out, was being dragged into the back yard.

Ian watched after them, not able to stop smiling.

 

-

 

A few hours later and the three were finally leaving the Gallagher household, Mickey covered in snow thanks to Liam. Ian couldn’t help but laugh and gingerly removed the chunk of ice from a piece of Mickey’s hair. He’d pouted, but even Mickey had to admit that Liam was the likable one in the family, allowing him to relax as Ian prodded Lip for information. Unfortunately, he didn’t come up with many leads, but decided to keep looking despite the dislike he already felt for Mickey. 

Now the group walked in the freezing night, blowing hot breaths into the freezing air. It was the start of December, and it wouldn’t be long until these streets were lined with shitty blow-up Christmas decorations. Despite the look of them though, Ian couldn’t imagine being anywhere else during the holidays that were soon to come. The nightly snow just reminded him. 

“Alright let’s get this fucking over with,” Mickey sighed, walking up to the door of his uncle’s house and banging on the door. He shuffled awkwardly as the door opened up to reveal a bigger man in need of a shave and new cigarette.

“Mikhailo? Mandy?” The man asked in confusion, which quickly settled into something else. “I thought I told you kids not to come back here?” He mumbled, looking over their shoulders. “You need to leave this house.”

“Not a chance old man,” Mickey said, holding open the door that his uncle tried to close, “You know something about my mom. Fess the fuck up or I’m gonna send as many people as I know here.” He narrowed his eyes, earning a heavy sigh as the man opened the door open more.

“Shit. Ok hurry get in here.” He said quickly, ushering the group of people into the small house that didn’t appear to be more than four rooms big. It was dark, but not dirty. The guy was clean and many of the things looked like memorabilia.

“Start talking. Now.” Mickey said, sending his uncle a hard look.

“Shit kid, always straight to the point with you. You’re like your mama was.” The man sighed, walking to a shelf to a photo. He grabbed one of the frames, popping the photo out of it before handing it to Mickey. It was the same one that was in his mother’s cookbook. For a moment Mickey’s voice got caught in his throat and his sister paused, looking sadly at her parents in the photo. 

“What’s the big deal with this photo?” Ian asked as both of the siblings seemed a little too stuck to talk.

“I’m sorry, who the fuck are you? You better watch your mouth kid. This isn’t your house.” The man turned to Ian, ready to kick him out of the house. At this Mickey looked up, sending his uncle a dangerous look.

“Back off, he’s a friend of mine. You’re not gonna do shit to him.” He said, earning a scoff from his uncle. Asshole. 

“Yeah whatever. Your dad and mom used to not be quite the people you remember Mick.” His uncle spoke, stubbing out his almost gone cigarette on his already crappy carpet. “That right there was a group known as the ‘faceless,’ but then again I guess you already knew about them if you’re here.” He mumbled, causing Mandy to look up.

“That’s who’s been harassing us? An old gang mom and Terry were part of?” She asked softly.

“Not just any gang Mandy. They’re ruthless people I warned your parents about. Told them to stay away. But your mother was a sweetheart who only wanted to protect you kids. I was out by the time you were born Mick, but then your mom passed away. Leave it to your fucked-up father to screw them over though. By that time, I was watching you and he took a bullet to the head. They swore up and down to come after everyone your dad knew, but you kids had left. I figured if you had moved on and I blocked you out, maybe you’d have a chance. Shoulda known them fuckers wouldn’t let you all leave so easily.” Mandy rubbed her eyes and Mickey let out a string of cusses as Ian felt his heart drop. All of this was his father’s fault, another man with a reputation. 

“Look,” The man sighed, “Be careful ok? I wish I could help you kids, but I can’t get involved in this anymore.” He eyed Mickey oddly as the boy nodded. He handed the picture back, mumbling something about them having to go. The man nodded, relief covering his face as the siblings stood, quickly making their way to the door and walking out without a second word. 

 

-

 

Mickey was oddly quiet the entire trip back to the apartment, only saying a goodbye to Mandy at café. Ian knew that the information about his parents was eating him alive, knowing this was their fault, or rather his father’s. He’d smoked almost an entire pack of cigarettes on the way back, his hands twitching every so often as he held the stick between his fingers until he ran out. They walked into the apartment, the door closing softly behind them as Mickey leaned against it, sliding down the door.

“Fuck,” his voice cracked as he rubbed his hands into his eyes, which were burning. Ian walked to his side without thinking, dropping to his knees and pulling Mickey into a hug. The boy didn’t protest though, just clutching to Ian’s jacket as he shook. Ian quietly pet his hair, smoothing it down as he made a shushing noise. The next words from Mickey’s mouth though broke him in a way he never thought possible.

“I don’t know what to do Ian.”


	9. 9.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “And I finally understand those sailors who plant their lips to the ground. I do the same to your body, it’s because you taste like home. And what I said was I’ll miss you. What I meant to say was that I love you. What I wanted to say was that I meant what I said. I miss you like I miss my own bed after too many nights of sleeping on couches, or hardwood floors, or sitting silently behind the doors of hotel rooms became wounds; breathing life in to this loneliness. I miss you. Like a burn victim must miss their own skin. I miss you like a sad ending” – Pulse, by Shane Koyczan

Mickey woke up, his eyes burning from the thing layer of smoke left over from last night and a few tears he knew he had shed. His face was probably red and splotchy, but he couldn’t even focus on that, because his attention was diverted. He’d woken up on the couch like he had to many nights before recently, but this time it was different. He woke up holding someone’s hand, only to see Ian fast asleep, sitting on the floor, his head on the couch under an arm draped near Mickey’s leg. And Mickey couldn’t focus on his eyes because Ian had fallen asleep on his floor.

He was suddenly bombarded by memories of the boy making him some tea he wasn’t even aware he owned, or liked. He remembered Ian grabbing blankets and playing with his hair. It was a small thing that he vaguely remembered his mother doing in his youth, but it still put him to sleep like he was a child. But most of all, he remembered Ian promising that’d it’d be ok, that he wasn’t going anywhere.   
Mickey didn’t know why he was surprised that the red-head lived up to the promise. 

Slowly, he pulled his hand away from Ian’s and moved his legs as not to disturb the sleeping boy. He even made a point to avoid the creaking planks of wood in his floor as he made his way to the kitchen and started making coffee. He liked the coffee black, and it surprised him none that Ian took his with a shit ton of sugar and crème. Mickey smiled a little at the thought as he poured him and Ian a cup before sneaking his way back into the living room. 

Carefully, Mickey set Ian’s cup down on the coffee table, then slid into the spot between the table and couch, sitting on the floor beside Ian. He reached out a hand, brushing a strand of red hair out of Ian’s face before softly shaking his shoulder. If this had been the other way around, Mickey was sure he would have punched Ian or something. Ian however, woke in a less defensive way and slowly opened his eyes to peak at Mickey, smiling softly as he started to sit up, rubbing his neck from the awkward angle he slept in. 

“I made you coffee,” Mickey said softly incase Ian had a headache as well. He pointed to the cup, making Ian smile as he picked it up and drank some. Despite the coffee though, Mickey could see the occasional looked towards him, and knew Ian wanted to talk about last night. Finally, after a minute or two of silence, it was Mickey that spoke first. “Look… about what happened last night…” he paused.

“It’s ok Mick. You really don’t have to explain yourself to me. If you don’t want to I won’t pry you,” Ian said nonchalant, catching Mickey off guard.

“The fuck are you looking at me so much for then?” He asked grumpily, causing Ian to giggle a little and turn, moving a piece of hair out of Mickey’s face.

“Your hair is sticking up,” He smiled, causing Mickey to roll his eyes and divert his attention to the coffee in his hands because his face was becoming increasingly warm. The moment his hand had brushed Mickey’s face, his heart did that annoying flipping and he felt sick. This is what people made such a big deal over? A feeling of nausea that he could get from eating too many hotdogs in one try? He didn’t quite understand how so many people could associate that with a good feeling. Still, when he heard another laugh and looked up into Ian’s eyes, a part of him said that maybe he’d like to understand the big fuss. 

“Dumbass.” He mumbled, just to prove to himself that he wasn’t getting soft and turned back towards the table. Fuck, he really needed to get back to doing regular jobs. Ian smiled, nodding as he leaned forward and kissed Mickey’s cheek. This caught his attention, causing him to turn his head, only to be kissed on the lips. Normally the morning breath would have put him off enough to not want to kiss anyone, but as Ian’s chin brushed against his, all Mickey did was grab their coffee and place it on the table. 

Ian smiled, turning his body towards Mickey as he tangled his hand into the smaller boy’s already messed up hair. Mickey responded by turning his own body and pushing Ian backwards so he was laying on the floor and Mickey was hovering over the top of him. Ian’s hands were mixed between his hips and his neck, sending a euphoric feeling throughout Mickey’s mind. It was a small touch, but it left his body burning like nothing ever had before. And without even realizing it, Mickey was properly smiling for the first time in a while, pulling back to look at Ian in amazement. He opened his mouth to speak, to express something as the door opened, causing both him and Ian to fly back from one-another. 

“Sweet baby Jesus on a corn cob,” Iggy spoke from the doorway, eyeing his brother and Ian with a little bit of amusement. Mickey however, could feel his heart begin to speed up. It was like he was a teenager in his living room all over again, and he was waiting for the pain to kick in, for someone to start hitting him and for Ian to run. He was waiting for the punch that was taking ages to come. 

“Mick?” Ian asked, watching as Mickey’s face fell to horror and he watched his brother walk towards him. He flinched, only to watch as Iggy walked pass them into the kitchen to grab a beer and rejoin them in the living room.

“I mean I had my suspicions, but I didn’t think you two would wind up together so fast honestly. I suppose I should know by now if Mickey wants something he gets it fast, but damn you couldn’t have waited til after Christmas? I owe Mandy like fifty dollars.” He huffed in slight annoyance, causing Mickey to eye him oddly.

“You’re ok with it?” He asked quietly, causing his brother to give him an odd look.

“You don’t remember? I suppose you wouldn’t. You got drunk and told me you were gay like a year ago Mickey. I honestly couldn’t care who you fuck.” He shrugged, taking a drink as Ian smiled a little. Leave it to Iggy to be the idiot that actually knew things about everyone and respected them. Mickey seemed to be processing it though with an odd look on his face. Ian recognized it as something of relief.

“Wait,” Ian paused, “you made bets?” 

“Mhm,” Iggy smiled. “I called this shit the day you two started living together. Normally Mickey would have givin’ no fucks if someone died. Not you.” He looked to Mickey who still looked a little freaked out, but pulled himself together to send his brother a disapproving look.

“I need new locks.”

 

-

 

Ian wondered around the apartment alone, cleaning up things occasionally on his small adventure. Mickey and his brother had gone on a “run” which obviously brought Mickey a little bit of happiness. Still, Ian smiled at the thought of Mickey asking if Ian would even be ok alone before leaving the apartment. 

In all honesty though, Ian was kind of happy to have the time alone. It seemed for the last month he wasn’t allowed to spend any moment by himself. It was something he wasn’t exactly accustom to. Growing up Ian had always had the sort of family that had him fending for himself, whether it was getting money or dealing with shit. If felt unnatural to have someone watching over him all of the time.   
He sighed, making his way to the cabinets and pulling them open one by one. He knew that snooping around probably wasn’t going to help him out any, nor did he know what he was looking for exactly. Perhaps something that would cause Mickey to stop being such a mystery to him. He started to piece together small things of the boy as he went along, making the job a bit easier. He found drawings from a child signed poorly by Mandy, telling him that Mickey had kept them all these years. He found guitar pics in a small container hidden under the sink, engraved with initials he didn’t recognize. He figured they were Mickey’s moms. He found a beat up old red box containing a few old files and finally, Ian finds a few photographs. One he recognized to be Mickey, a small child sitting on his floor, a big grin covering his face as he played with what appeared to be a cooking pan. It made Ian smile even more.

He slid the pictures back into their spot, careful not to hurt them in any way and turned around. He was ready to explore somewhere other than the kitchen when something caught his eye. Laying on the floor was a small wallet. Mickey’s. He walked over, picking it up and flipping it open. Fiona had always told him not to look through stuff like that, but Ian was always consumed by curiosity. 

Inside, Ian first came to Mickey’s ID, a thin thing with a shitty photo that simultaneously looked good. He could tell it wasn’t a real ID though. The name was different and he even added a few inches onto his height. He smiled and put the photo away, only to pull out the small one of Mickey and his mom. She was beautiful, much like Mandy, but with the rounder face that Mickey held. She looked so at peace holding the baby Mickey, who was smiling up at her. Ian could feel a pain in his chest as he looked at it, thinking of the holidays coming up. Mickey was going to have another Christmas without his mom. 

Ian paused, contemplating his next actions heavily before reaching into his own pocket and pulled out his wallet. Carefully, he slid the photo into his own wallet and closed Mickey’s, placing it back on the floor. Next, Ian pulled out his phone, calling Lip before he could change his mind and put the photo back where it belonged. 

“You’d better be dying,” Lip mumbled, obviously tired, when he picked up the call. Ian hesitated, knowing if Mickey found out he took the photo that he would be. 

“Hey. I need a favor.”

 

-

 

Mickey was practically on cloud 9 having an actual job to do for once that took his mind off of the whole “someone trying to murder him and his family” thing. He hadn’t been on an actual job in so long that he actually found it kind of relaxing. Well, he was relaxed as he could be with Iggy smiling at him like crazy. It didn’t take long for Mickey to turn to him and send him a questioning look.

“Why the fuck are you lookin’ at me?” He asked, his voice having more sass than he meant for it to contain. Iggy only smiled though as they continued to drive down some busy road. 

“You seem happier.” He shrugged, catching Mickey off guard.

“The fuck?”

“Oh please,” Iggy rolled his eyes, “you know you’re no fucking peach. I mean no offense, and I never thought I’d say this to my little brother, but you need to get more action dude. You’re usually a fucking dick. Not so much right now with Ian around though.” Mickey blinked, a little offended. 

“You’re an asshole.” He mumbled, turning back to the road in front of them as Iggy smiled.

“See? Normally you’d put a gun to my head until I apologized, but not now. It’s like you’re not a hateful little shit with a Napoleon complex.” He laughed, causing Mickey to send him a look.

“That a height joke?” 

“What do you think?” Iggy smiled. Mickey made a humph noise and turned back to the window. Iggy frowned slighting, trying to think of a way of phrasing things without completely pissing Mickey off. He may be his brother, but everyone knew not to push Mickey too much. The boy had a temper he just couldn’t control.

“Look,” he mumbled, watching as his brother watched him from the corner of his eye, “I’m just saying that you seem happier lately. If that’s tied to Ian then I’m happy for you.” Mickey rolled his eyes and turned to look out his window. 

Despite this he couldn’t stop the small smile that covered his lips. 

Maybe Ian wasn’t so bad after all.


	10. 10.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “So, we grew up believing no one would ever fall in love with us; that we’d be lonely forever, that we’d never meet someone to make us feel like the sun was something they built for us in their tool shed. So broken heart strings bled the blues as we tried to empty ourselves. So, we would feel nothing. Don’t tell me that hurts less than a broken bone.” – To This Day, by Shane Koyczan

Mickey stared into the man’s dark eyes as he pulled the trigger to the gun, allowing the man to go limp with a small crack on bone being shattered. It’d been a fairly simple job. A man owed him a good thousand dollars or so, and he’d been given a month until collection time. Come the time to pay up however, and the man claimed that he didn’t have the money and needed longer. Mickey however knew that you can’t let people off the hook that easily. It wasn’t good for business if people weren’t terrified of you. A bullet to the skull and a no mercy attitude. That’s how you survived in the line of work that the Milkovich siblings knew best. It was brutal, but it payed bills and it was something Mickey was good at. 

“They really should learn to just talk,” Iggy sighed, noticing the blood splattered on the wall, “I mean, I wouldn’t want to be the one cleaning this up.” He mumbled, avoiding looking directly at it. Mickey smiled, just as the door opened. Almost immediately he knew something was up because was off and no one else was supposed to be here. 

A woman, middle aged and holding a small child behind her back paused in the doorway, her eyes landing on the man in the chair. Her hand shakily rose to her mouth as she pushed the child behind her out of the room and turned to Mickey. Mickey was almost frozen for a second until the woman flew towards him, screaming, crying, and scratching. The action took Iggy by surprise as well, causing him to react late as the woman punched Mickey. Eventually Iggy registered what happened and grabbed the woman, who was kicking and thrashing around. He held her arms behind her back and watched as Mickey grabbed the gun at his side and aimed it at the woman. Almost immediately she stopped screaming and cried in place.

“My husband,” she said softly, tears streaming down her anger ridden face. “You killed my husband. I have a child. Please.” Mickey narrowed his eyes, the gun aimed straight towards her. His eyes flickered to the door, where a small girl stood, hiding behind the frame. Her eyes met Mickey’s and for a small moment he saw himself. 

Mickey’s dad was never the golden father, that was for sure. He’d dragged them on so many jobs when they were younger, that Mickey had learned exactly how everything went down. Hell, he’d watched so many people die, he would be a therapist’s wet dream. Despite all he’d seen though, he remembered being a child and watching his father kill someone for the first time. 

Mickey lowered the gun.

 

-

 

“We gonna talk about what just happened?” Iggy asked, watching Mickey from the side of his eyes as they drove down the dark road. Mickey sighed and rubbed his eyes with his pointed finger and thumb.   
“We ain’t talking about shit.” Mickey mumbled in reply, causing Iggy to roll his eyes and slow the car, pulling off to the side of the road and to a stop, earning a look from his younger sibling. They sat in silence for a moment, listening to the sounds of the city as Iggy always insisted on keeping the windows rolled down. 

“You didn’t pull the trigger.” Iggy stated simply, earning another eye roll from Mickey.

“Yeah I’m pretty aware I didn’t pull the trigger.” He said softly, turning to look at Iggy, who was smiling softly.

“Shit Mick. Would you pull your head out of your ass for once and realize that you aren’t some horrible person, and that’s a good thing? You aren’t dad. Fuck, Mickey you are nothing like him. Stop acting like saving a mother was some horrible thing. You have your own rules, and you follow them Mick. I’m proud of you.” Iggy said, causing Mickey to not only roll his eyes but to shove his brother’s shoulders some.

“Yeah ok.” 

“I’m serious Mickey.” He said, his voice holding no humor. Mickey paused, nodding, and causing Iggy to smile once more. And with that, he put the car back into drive and pulled back onto the road. “You’re a good guy Mick.”

 

-

 

Mickey stormed into his apartment and slammed the door closed, not caring about his neighbors or what they thought of his night time noises. All he wanted was to sleep and forget about that had happened. Almost as if on cue though, Ian walked out of Mickey’s room, a small smile on his face that fell the moment he saw Mickey.

“Jesus, what the fuck happened to you?” Ian asked, causing Mickey to raise an eyebrow. “Mick, your lip is split and you have cuts on your cheek and forehead.” 

“Right,” Mickey sighed, “Some crazy lady didn’t so much like me putting a bullet through her guy’s head.” He paused, watching Ian through his eyelashes. He wasn’t sure why he said that. Maybe he was waiting to see if Ian would freak out, if he would run now that Mickey showed he wasn’t that good of a person. He watches as Ian paused and watched him intently before grabbing Mickey’s wrist and leading him to the couch, sitting him down. 

He walked out of the room, much to Mickey’s confusion only to return with a small box that Mickey forgot he even owned. It was a small first aid box his sister had bought him months ago after she got tired of patching him up. Ian softly smiled though and walked over to Mickey, kneeling down and opening it up to work on Mickey’s head.

“What I do doesn’t freak you out?” Mickey asked, more out of surprise than anything. Ian looked up at him, smiling softly as he dabbed Mickey’s head with an anti-bacterial medicine that caused him to hiss a little. 

“When I was little my mom ran out on us, high out of her mind. My sister stole a baby, and my other one almost killed my brother. My older brother has stolen so many things and fucked so many people over I’m surprised they let him work where they do. When I was about sixteen, I was almost arrested for being in a stolen car my sister’s boyfriend took. My dad is an alcoholic that’s not even around half of the time. One time he almost broke my nose purely because I said something he didn’t like. When I was fifteen I broke up a marriage by sleeping with my boss. A few years ago, I hit a low point and winded up working at a gay bar, strung out on drugs half the time, and sleeping with random old men for money.” Ian smiled sadly at Mickey, who watched him with wide eyes. 

“Why are you telling me all of that?” He wondered out loud, watching as Ian let out a breathy laugh and placed a bandage over the cut.

“I know you didn’t have the best childhood, but in all reality, you’re just not that fucked up to me. Look,” he smiled, meeting Mickey’s bright blue eyes, “you’re not horrible Mick. You don’t freak me out. Maybe your job is intense, but you’re doing what your dad did, maybe just in a different way.” Mickey felt his heart do that fluttering thing as his eyes met Ian’s, searching them for any doubt in those words. When he didn’t find any, Mickey pushed forward, grabbing the sides of Ian’s face and pulling him closer. 

Ian moved the first aid kit to the side, pushing up on the couch so he could lean Mickey backwards over it. Mickey sighed happily into the kiss as he traced his fingers along Ian’s jawline, feeling as their chins bumped and Ian rested his hand on Mickey’s hip. Mickey sat back willingly, pulling back a little to look at Ian. Ian almost lost his breath though to the sight of Mickey, lips parted and eyes dilated. 

“Ian?” Mickey whispered, biting his lip a little, “Bedroom.” Ian nodded, smiling as he slid back and pulled Mickey off the couch, and immediately pulling his shirt off. The moment the item of clothing was cleared, they were at it again, with lips on lips. Mickey let Ian blindly guide him towards the bedroom, too focused on the feeling of Ian’s hands pulling him closer by the waist, the solidity of his arms making him feel safe for once. 

Mickey stumbled backwards, putting all his energy into Ian’s bottom lip. He was so busy with that small detail, he made a surprised squeak when Ian grabbed his legs and lifted him up onto the bed, laying him backwards. Their lips parted for only a small second while Ian moved his focus to Mickey’s neck. The action sent a sense of bliss through Mickey, causing his head to roll back and a small breath to escape his mouth, and his hand to tighten its grip in Ian’s hair. Ian pulled back, pulling his shirt off before he grabbed Mickey’s wrists, pinning them against the bed, and causing Mickey’s eyebrow to raise.

“This ok?” Ian whispered, causing Mickey to nod and bite his lip.

“This is more than ok.” Mickey smiled, not minding the restraint, but let out a small laugh instead, “but the handcuffs in my top drawer might work better.” Ian’s smiled widened even more as he leaned down and pecked Mickey’s lips with his own.

“God you’re hot.” 

 

-

 

A week later, and Ian couldn’t stop smiling even as he made his way into Lip’s office building, a place in the North Side that cause him to feel oddly uncomfortable. It was too white and clean, with too many people drinking fancy coffees and talking fast on fancy phones. Even Lip looked out of place as he walked through the crowd, smiling as he saw his brother all bundled up in a coat.

“Aye look who the fuck showed up,” Lip smiled, holding a cigarette between his lips even though Ian was fairly certain you couldn’t smoke in here. Ian smiled too, going in for a quick hug and laughing a little at the height difference between him and his brother. 

“Hey to you too,” Ian smiled, “So about what we talked about, you think you can get it done?” He asked, pulling out his wallet to grab the photo from it.

“Yeah I talked to a buddy in the Conceptual Department of it all. He said he can have it by then,” Lip nodded, taking the photo of Mickey and his mother. Lip raised an eyebrow at it then looked at Ian. “He knows you have this?” 

“No, and I’m hoping to keep it that way until you’re done.” Ian mumbled, shuffling awkwardly on his feet as he met Lip’s judgmental stare.

“Be careful about this.” He sighed. 

 

-

 

“I’m so damn happy it’s finally the holidays,” Mandy giggled, dragging Mickey into another store to buy gifts.

“Yeah, you told me ten times on the way here,” Mickey rolled his eyes, walking around the store and looking between all of the creepy Santa statues and fairy lights of all different colors. He hated Christmas. “Remind me again why we’re at the seventh store of the day.” 

“Because,” Mandy smiled, looking at a bracelet that was far out of her price range, causing her to frown, “You haven’t bought anything.” 

“Wrong, I bought all of you guys the same things I always do.” Mickey sighed, gesturing to the small wrap of presents already in his hand. She sighed, rolling her eyes as she gave him a look.

“I think you’re forgetting someone. Perhaps a certain red-head?” She smiled, grabbing a small figuring and placing it in Mickey’s hand. He looked down at it to see a small dog, making Mickey smile and place it back on the shelf, pausing when he noticed the one next to it. Slowly, Mickey picked it up, rolling it over in his hand as he walked to the counter to pay for it. 

“Find everything sir?” The lady at the counter smiled, batting her eyes a little at him as he frowned. 

“Yeah.” He said awkwardly, placing the figuring on the counter.

“Who’s it for?” She smiled, eyes flashing to Mandy as she joined Mickey at the counter, sliding her own item onto it.

“His girlfriend.” Mandy smiled sweetly, sending Mickey a knowing look, which conflicted him. While he was thankful she’d never out him, his heart was freaking out a bit at the thought of a relationship. No, him and Ian weren’t like that. They wouldn’t be.

“Oh,” the girl sighed, scanning the small item. Mickey smiled awkwardly and reached for his wallet to grab his card and slide it over the table. He almost closed the wallet too, right before he paused and pulled it completely open, his heart dropping.

“You ok?” Mandy whispered, causing him to look up.

“Mom’s pictures gone.”


	11. 11.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “You always asked me what to wear, and I would stare at you as if for a second I wouldn't answer. Of course, I always did. Hid my affections, and my response: "wear that smile" I said. That one you wear when you see me. That one you wear to bed.” – Weather Reports, by Shane Koyczan

“I’m gonna fucking kill him,” Mickey said angrily as he marched down the street, his stomps followed closely by the pitter patter of Mandy’s heels in the snow. She was practically running to keep up with her brother as he stormed down the street, ignoring the cold wind against his rosy cheeks. He was beyond upset. He was fucking livid at this point, because there had been one person in his apartment, one person he thought he could trust outside of his family. “I’m going to rip out his fucking heart and shove it so far up his ass that he would taste it.” He muttered, turning down yet another street, one street closer to killing Ian.

“Mickey would you just slow down for a second?” Mandy sighed, frustrated that she was wearing heels and that her lovely shopping trip turned shit so fast. “You’re walking too fast!” 

“Sooner I can make him pay the happier I’ll be,” He said, frustrated as he slid to a stop at his own apartment building and pulled open the door, almost hitting his sister in the process. With a huff, he started up the stairs, causing Mandy to make another frustrated groan and attempt to run up the stairs while holding her bags. Mickey however was skipping every other stair with his momentum and ran up the two stories fairly quickly, arriving at his own door.

Just as fast, he pulled the key to the apartment from his pocket and opened the door just as Mandy reached the top of the stairs, mildly out of breath. When she finally reached the door, she let out a relief sigh as she noticed Mickey huffing. Ian wasn’t here. 

“Where the fuck could he be?” Mickey looked to her before checking the bedroom once more and walking back into the living room where Mandy was setting her stuff down on the couch.

“He probably went to go see his brother. Lip? I heard that he wanted to meet up with him. That’s what Iggy said anyways. I think they’re becoming pretty good friends actually,” she said softly, hoping Mickey would calm down in time. He was still walking back and forth though, shoving his hands into his pockets, removing them, and repeating the action. “Would you please sit the fuck down before you do something stupid Mick?” He sent her a look but moved to the couch regardless, sitting down. 

“Mandy I’m not kidding, I’m going to rip out his fucking throat.” He whispered, and while he was pissed off, Mandy could see the hurt in his eyes. He’d obviously not seen this coming. Hell, how could he have? Ian seemed like a nice guy, even Mandy wouldn’t have expected this from him. This however she knew hit Mickey on a completely different level. He hit Mickey where it hurt. 

“Mick?” She asked softly, watching as he looked up before she pulled him into a hug. He didn’t hug back, but she didn’t expect him to. Instead, he sat there, his breathing evening out. “Think this through. Do you one hundred percent know it was him?” He pulled back, frowning as he spoke.

“I… guess not…” 

“Ok. Now, on the chance he did take it, maybe he had a reason. Think about it, has Ian ever done anything to prove that he’s not trust worthy?” He asked, rubbing Mickey’s arms as he leaned into the couch and shook his head. “Talk to him Mickey. I’m not stupid and neither are you. Don’t be stupid.” She smiled sadly before grabbing her bags and standing up. He looked up, ready to ask where she was going when she held up a hand. “I’m going to go home and mind my own business. This is between him and you.”

“Right,” he said darkly as she moved to the door. When she reached it, she turned and hesitated at the door.

“If he didn’t have a good reason… don’t take it easy on him. I like Ian but you’re my family Mick.”

 

-

 

Ian walked into the apartment as the night started to set in over the city, noticing the flood of light under the door-frame that indicated Mickey was indeed home. He walked in, a little surprised to see Mickey sitting on the couch with his TV turned off, staring blankly at the wall in front of him. He didn’t even bother to look up when Ian entered the room and started to remove the scarf from around his neck. 

“Mickey? You ok?” he asked softly, noting that Mickey was anxiously twisting his hands and the vein in his neck was straining. He spoke softly, his voice barely above a whisper as he tried to keep it steadily.  
“Be honest with me.” He mumbled, looking up finally to reveal his dark and clouded over eyes, “You took my mother’s photo, didn’t you?” Ian’s eyes widened as the swelling anxiety in his stomach lurched into his throat. His silence was enough of an answer for Mickey though as he spoke again, the words spitting through gritted teeth. “Where is it?” 

“I don’t have it,” he whispered, causing Mickey to nod, sniffing a little as he pushed himself off of the couch. Ian didn’t even mean to before he backed away the slightest bit, causing Mickey’s eyes to flash with a pain that wasn’t fully there before. He kept walking though, right in front of Ian before he paused. The next thing Ian knew, his face stung in the shape of a hand print. 

“Get out.” He whispered, looking into Ian’s eyes with that dead, icy stare. 

“What?” 

“Get the fuck out. Now. Before I change my mind and kill you myself, you asshole. I fucking trusted you... My mistake.” His voice cracked slightly and Ian felt the urge in him to hug and kiss him, but he knew that wouldn’t happen. He fucked up, nodded, and without hesitating, left Mickey’s apartment. On the other side of the door though, Mickey was almost hoping that he would stay. He was wanting Ian to apologize and fix it. Mickey was an idiot.

The door closed the moment a scream ripped from Mickey’s throat, cracked and pain infused as his back hit the door and he fell to the ground. Almost as if on cue, a cry ripped through his throat, and he felt tears stinging his eyes. This was his own fault for trusting someone. He shouldn’t have been so stupid. 

“Fuck,” he whispered to no one in particular before looking to the small drawer by his Tv, feeling another tear fall down his cheek, “I’m sorry mom.”

 

-

 

“You need whiskey,” Svetlana nodded to herself as she rummaged through her cabinets, looking for the bottle. From the corner of the room, Mandy glared at him, not to Ian’s surprise. “I am all out of whiskey. Mandy is more fun and drinks it all. I get you vodka instead. You need hard liquor… I need hard liquor.” She said confidently, pulling out the drink and three shot glasses, pouring them almost completely to the top and lined them up. She then passes a drink to each of the occupants of the room, raising hers into the air. 

“Pust' malen'kiy serdityy mal'chik ne zastrelit vas za vashu oshibku, chto by eto ni bylo.” She smiled, nodding once before throwing her head back and downing the drink. Ian rolled his eyes and downed his as well, cringing at the taste as Mandy followed with her own drink. She however only gave a sigh and sent Ian another look. 

“So, tell me, why is it you come to my apartment at night. I sleep at this time. You know this. What did you do to piss of the small Milkovich?” She narrowed her eyes as Ian paused. 

“It’s not… quite what you think….” He said softly, making eye contact with Mandy, who narrowed her eyes as well.

“Really? So, you make someone trust you and you steal from them, but it’s not what it seems?” Mandy laughed a harsh laugh, and Ian could see her resemblance to Mickey more than ever. Not only did the two siblings look alike, but in many ways, they were the same personality wise. Out of all the siblings, they were harsh and cold on the outside. On the inside though, they were happy and warm and unbelievably loving. 

“If I tell you why I took the photo, you can’t tell Mickey.” Ian looked to them both. Svetlana shrugged, but Mandy rolled her eyes.

“And why the hell would I do that? You’re a shitty person Ian, I’m not gonna promise you shit.” She muttered, grabbing the bottle of vodka off the table and pouring herself another shot. “You have thirty seconds.”

“Well…”

 

-

 

“Shit,” Mandy muttered, sitting back in her chair as she rubbed her eyes. “Fine. Fuck, fine I won’t say anything. You better fix this though Ian. I’m still massively pissed off at what you did, but I understand it. I just don’t support it.” She pointed a finger at him before sighing, “But… I’ll keep your secret. For now.

“Ty glupyy imbir'. Nadeyus', vy ispravite chto-to svoim lyubovnikom-geyem. Tupitsa.” Svetlana nodded, causing Ian to sigh. She tended to ramble in Russian as if everyone else actually understood what she was saying. Her look was kind enough though.

“Look,” Mandy sighed, “Lay low and go home. You can’t go back until he’s calmed down.” Ian nodded, moving to stand up. He couldn’t leave it all bad between him and the Milkovich siblings. He needed at least one of them to make sure that Mickey didn’t randomly decide that homicide was ok. He smiled, standing up and moving to leave. “And Ian?” 

“Yeah?” he paused at the door to the small upstairs apartment.

“Be careful.” She reached into her pocket, pulling out a pocket knife and tossed it to Ian. He nodded, opening the door and made his way down to the exit of the coffee shop, thankful that Svetlana let him keep his key. With that, Ian started down the road to the train station, cringing at just how cold it was out. It was also oddly quiet, something that wasn’t all that normal for this side of Chicago at night. All Ian heard was his footsteps, along with faded ones behind him. 

Ian glanced behind his shoulder, watching as a shadow disappeared into an alley. 

Someone was following Ian.

It was someone in a hood, and they were being really shitty about the action. Ian still felt the unnerved feeling sinking into his bones as he made his way down the mostly abandon street, his feet going numb from the cold snow and the night air mixing. With an anxious look to the side, Ian quickly turned down a random street, ducking into an alley way. A good thirty seconds later and the man was walking pass, only to be grabbed from behind by Ian who’d been more than thankful for Mandy and her pocket knife. He held it to the man’s throat as the guy started to protest, holding his hands up.

“Ian it’s me, it’s me.” The man said, causing Ian to sigh and let him go. The boy nervously laughed and pulled his hood off of his head.

“Iggy, I could have killed you.” Ian scolded, releasing a breath as Iggy smiled awkwardly and shrugged. “Why the fuck were you following me?” Iggy smirked, raising an eyebrow as he smiled and turned to the street, motioning for Ian to follow him.

“You may have done something to piss off Mickey, which you should totally tell me about by the way, but he still cares. He said you were probably headed to Svet’s and wanted you to not be… you know… kidnapped or some shit. In my opinion, I wouldn’t be surprised if you tripped and fell into a knife. Your hero has arrived though,” he bowed as the two started walking. “Anyways, I’m here to take you to your destination, wherever that may be.”

“He sent you here?” Ian asked, almost stopping in the middle of the street. Iggy nodded, smiling softly.

“He’s been… different lately. He’s not as angry. I think that has something to do with you if I’m being honest. He’s kind of happy for once.” He said happily, only to watch as Ian paused, and Iggy’s face fell. “Oh god, how badly did you fuck up?”

“I took the photo of your mom.” Ian whispered, watching as even Iggy had anger flash over his face, something that wasn’t see so often. Iggy grabbed his arm, stopping them both where they stood. “I swear to god if you mess up that photo I will not hesitate to kill you myself. That’s Mickey’s prized possession. He’s carried that picture for over ten years.” 

“Jesus, you all wonna kill me? I promise the photo will not be damaged and I’ll give it back.” Ian promised, watching as Iggy searched is face intensely. Soon he nodded, releasing Ian from his grip.   
“Let’s get you home, yeah?” He smiled, tapping Ian’s head before turning and walking to the car.

 

-

 

Mickey didn’t know what the fuck happened. He’d been sitting on his couch, letting out a small huff when Iggy texted him that he got Ian, when his doorbell rang. He answers it to find his brother and niece, only to listen to his brothers rushed explanation of a lead he got on the case and how his wife was away, leaving Mickey and a small girl alone. Mickey only allowed it because Joey actually had a lead.  
“How old are you again?” Mickey asked the small child whom he sat on a chair in his kitchen, deciding to make her hot chocolate. He looked at her, a perfect likeness to her mother. She had long black hair and the darkest eyes Mickey had ever seen. She smiled a toothy grin, holding her teddy bear she carried everywhere just a bit closer. 

“Six.” She pronounced happily, taking the cup Mickey had made and grinning at the marshmallows in it. 

“You’re getting big kiddo. Soon you’re gonna be my height,” he joked, tickling her side a little as he laughed.

“Daddy says you’re short.” She whispered, causing Mickey to raise his eyebrows.

“Your dad is a dick.” He mumbled, causing her small eyes to widen greatly.

“That’s a bad word Uncle M!” She said in a rushed voice, causing him to give her another look, grinning a little.

“You used to not mind it.” He pointed out, causing her to hesitate before she placed her cup calmly on his table and crossed her arms. God, she may look like her mother, but she was just like her father personality wise. 

“Now I do. You owe me… or… or Uncle Ig is my favorite.” She said pointedly, causing him to fake gasp in horror and her to nod. He paused, thinking for a moment before he sighed. 

“You can watch whatever you want on TV. But, no horror and no channels above 350.” He said, holding out his hand. Immediately, a big smile covered her small face and she shook her head. 

“Nope. Daddy says no TV after eight. Mommy says no TV after eight too.” She smiled, sending him a challenging look. He paused, smiling slowly as he looked to the door. 

“Balcony?” Her face lit up. A small tradition that started when she was tiny was him taking her out on the balcony, telling her what few space things he knew about. He’d even point out “stars” which were really just airplanes, but she didn’t need to know that yet. They always had the moon after all. “Alright kiddo go get your coat. Your mom would kill me if I got you sick.” She nodded running out of his kitchen to where her coat sat on the couch. Mickey grabbed his took before helping her zip up her own tiny jacket.

“Let’s go,” She smiled as Mickey took her out on his extremely tiny balcony attached to his bedroom. He picked her up, putting her on his shoulders, despite the fact that she wasn’t tiny any more. “Tell me the thing about the moon. The one your mommy used to tell you.” She whispered, almost as if the world would hear her if she didn’t.

“When I was a kid my mom used to say that every time you looked at the moon, someone you love is looking at it too. It’s how you know they love you back.” He mumbled in reply, his heart sinking just a little as she smiled and spoke.

“You think Mommy and Daddy are looking?” 

“I know they are.” Mickey replied softly. She looked at him for a second before she paused and replied even quieter.

“Is someone looking at it for you?” She asked, catching him by surprise. “Someone that’s not me?” She added quickly. A smile crept onto his face as he watched the clouds cover the moon. 

“I hope so.” He watched as the small girl nodded, yawning and rubbing her eyes, making Mickey laugh a little. “Let’s get you to bed ok? I’ll make pancakes tomorrow until Dad gets home.” She nodded, turning to tuck her head into his shoulder and close her eyes. 

Mickey took one more look up.

 

-

 

“Look,” Iggy said, pulling up to Lip’s apartment building, causing Ian to look away from his window. “I know what you did was stupid, but Mickey likes you. Don’t fuck this up ok?” He smiled, causing Ian to nod and open his door.

“Thanks Iggy.” He smiled as Iggy saluted. Sliding out of the car, Ian walked towards the apartment building, waving to Iggy as the car drove off. He let his smile fall, the feeling of what he did to Mickey still hanging in his chest. He turned to walk into the building, pausing as he pulled open the door.

Ian took a glance up.


	12. 12.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “And this is for the children who were lost. Sadness is nothing more than the cost of being able to smile once in a while. And grief is the trial we stand to offer evidence that your finger prints were left on our hearts and our skin, and in terms of proof, love can be demonstrated in giving. Our lives consist of the efforts we give; in swimming towards the lost continent where you are rumored to be living.” – Atlantis, by Shane Koyczan

Mickey woke up in the morning with an odd feeling, because for the first time in a month and a half, he woke up in Ian’s room. No, his room. Ian sure as hell wasn’t going to be sleeping here anymore after what he did to Mickey. There was a lot of stuff that Mickey could forgive, but anything to do with his family he couldn’t let go. His family always came first. Ian wasn’t family…

“Daddy is here!” His niece yelled from the other room. Mickey groaned and rolled off his bed, rummaging round on his floor for a sweater when he paused. Ian’s stuff was still here. Mickey had kicked him out before Ian even had a chance to grab his clothes. Mickey pushed his stuff aside, grabbing one of Ian’s over-sized sweaters and threw it on, smiling to himself before he frowned. “Uncle M!” the small girl yelled again, making Mickey hesitate before pulling off the sweater and grabbing his own. Fuck Ian and his sweaters. Mickey walked out of his room to see his brother, a coffee in hand, as he smiled softly. He handed Mickey the coffee and turned to his daughter, tapping her on the back.

“Go watch TV Andra, I’m going to talk to Mickey for a bit.” The small girl nodded, smiling at Mickey. The girl’s name always hit him like a pile of bricks, even after all of these years. She was named after their mother, Aleksandra. Mickey shook it off, walking to the kitchen with his brother who was looking at him sadly. “You gonna talk about it?” 

“Talk about what?” Mickey asked, his spine straightening as he looked down at his coffee cup. “Ain’t nothin’ to talk about.” Joey rolled his eyes, sitting down at Mickey’s table. 

“I’ve known you for twenty-four years Mickey, don’t play stupid. I’m aware when something is bugging you… plus you look like hell.” He smiled, making Mickey look up and narrow his eyes at his sibling.

“Gee, thanks.” He mumbled, sighing as he looked back down. 

“This about Ian?” Joey said, raising an eyebrow as Mickey almost choked on air. “I don’t support it, by the way. I never trusted him, and I think over-all it’s not a good thing. I’m really against it in fact.” He said softly, causing Mickey’s eyebrows to shoot up.

“You what? After all of the shit you’ve done, that’s what you judge someone for?” Mickey replied, mildly mortified. Joey’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he looked Mickey up and down. 

“I thought you were against it too… He stole mom’s photo, I mean, you’re not mad about it?” He asked, causing Mickey’s eyes to widen. Iggy hadn’t told him. He sighed, nodding.

“Yeah. That’s all.” He whispered, feeling more uncomfortable as Joey’s eyes started to narrow a bit. He knew Mickey was hiding something, but usually it was Iggy or Mandy that were brave enough to ask him what was going on. Usually his other brothers were smart enough to keep out of it. “So, what did you think urgent enough to leave me with your kid randomly?” He decided to change the subject. Iggy and Mandy knew about his sexuality, and for now that was more than enough. He didn’t like the idea of having everyone he knew find out. Hell, he was surprised they didn’t already know at this point.   
Joey sighed, shaking his head at Mickey’s evasive tendencies, and reached into his pocket, pulling out a piece of paper. Slowly, he slid it across the table to Mickey, who set his coffee down and took the note in hand. His eyes scanned over it as he slid into the chair across from his brother. 

“Bank transactions?” He raised an eyebrow. “Anonymous ones… these have anything to do with the members of the gang we been dealing with?” Joey nodded, pointing to the initials, S.P. Mickey sighed, his eyes roaming over the name… or lack there-of. “Someone is funding them from the outside. Someone with contact to them. We have a lead on who this is?” 

“No, I’m trying but when we got into the records, they were wiped. Someone’s been keeping their tracks clean. They’re a close connection though, so I’m betting the moment we get them, we get whoever the hell S.P. is. I’m gonna guess what’s whoever the hell is in charge of all of this. Get to them and we shut this shit down.” Joey spoke quietly as Mickey nodded, his brain starting to click into work mode.

“Ok. It’s the holidays, people usually lay low just before Christmas. Try to hit them the week after. Iggy is gonna be on watch lately so I’m gonna trust you and Jamie to get behind this. Ask everyone from your wife to Kevin and see if anyone knows who the hell S.P. may be and anyone involved with them. I want this shit over as fast as possible so I can move on.” Jamie nodded in response as Mickey sat back in his chair. “I want this guy to pay for everything. Fucker messed up my time.” 

“Uncle M!” his niece ran into the room, grabbing Mickey’s sleeve. “Aunt Mandy is here.” He smiled, ruffling her hair and telling her to let Mandy in. She bounced out of the room, only to be replaced shortly after by Mandy.

“Beat it Joey I need to talk to Mick.” She said, and Joey wasted no time standing up. None of them were stupid enough to ignore Mandy when she used her ‘this is important’ voice. He bid the two goodbyes and walked out, Aleksandra following close behind him. 

“You make it a habit to walk into people’s houses unannounced?” Mickey asked, handing his half empty coffee to her, making her smile for a second and take a drink before she hopped up on the side of his counter and frowned. He hated when she did that. He kept this place clean for a reason, and she just walks in and sits on shit. 

“You hardly count as people. Anyways, I’m here on business.” She said firmly. Mickey smirked and looked her in the eyes as she spoke. “I have a lot to ask about, so I need you to cooperate. Firstly, are you ok? I know Ian pulled shit I’m still not happy about, but I had nothing telling me if you were ok. You kicked him out Mick.” He whispered, causing him to roll his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m pretty aware I kicked him out, thanks captain obvious.” 

“Mickey don’t you dare try to act like I’m stupid. I’m not dumb, I know you two had something going on. For the first time in years you were smiling. Years, Mick. Now you just plan on acting like nothing happened?” She asked, her blue eyes staring intensely at him. “You know as well as I do it doesn’t work like that. You’re going to hurt yourself, and I won’t sit here and watch Mickey. You need to sort your shit out, because I’m not letting this destroy you as well.” Mickey rolled his eyes, but nodded regardless.

“Fine.” He held up his hands in surrender, causing Mandy to smile triumphantly, “What else did you want to bug me about or can I get to work?” 

“Right. You two totally did hook up, right? What was that like?” Mandy smiled, causing Mickey to give her one of his infamous looks. “Ok, Ian wants his stuff back by the way. He texted me, but I figured since you need to fix your… whatever you are, you should go. And before you protest, that wasn’t a request. You’re going.” She said pointedly, sliding off the counter and landing on the floor with a thump. “Today.”

“What if I don’t?” Mickey mumbled, challenging her a bit. 

“Then,” she smiled, leaving the kitchen, “I tell him about the Taylor Swift thing!” She called, causing Mickey to walk around the corner, flipping her off as she left the apartment with a bang. 

 

-

 

“You sure this is a good idea?” Iggy asked, watching as Mickey took a deep breath and watched the Gallagher house closely. Mickey laughed harshly, his eyes glancing at the bag on the floor in front of him. Maybe it wasn’t too late to turn back.

“Mandy isn’t really giving me a choice. Bitch has some black mail.” He mumbled, causing Iggy to raise his eyebrows and smirk, “Maybe I’ll get a chance to deck him in the face.” He mumbled. “I’ll be back.” Iggy nodded, turning up his shitty Cascada music as Mickey climbed out of the car. 

Even in the morning the Gallagher house was fucking loud, and Mickey wasn’t even sure that anyone heard his knock until the door opened slowly. Mickey looked down to see his favorite Gallagher smiling brightly and giggling. Almost immediately, the small child ran forward and hugged Mickey.

“Hey kiddo, can I come in?” Mickey smiled, earning a nod from Liam who moved to the side and allowed him to enter the household. Per usual, the place was loud and messy, but it felt kind of homely. Carl was on the couch, angrily yelling at some game, and Liam’s toys were in a pile on the floor. Mickey thanked the small child and walked towards the kitchen where Fiona sat, her hair in a ponytail, covered in flour. “You rob a bakery?” He asked, causing her to look up in surprise. She looked him over for a moment until it clicked in her head and she smiled a bit.

“Hey Mickey. I’m attempting a cake actually. What brings you to our side?” He paused, looking around while she narrowed her eyes a bit at him. She didn’t seem to fully trust him.

“I’m actually looking for Ian.” Mickey said, causing Fiona to furrow her eyebrows and shrug.

“I thought he was staying with you,” she said, causing him to shrug in return.

“He’s not. Plans change.” The lack of response didn’t seem to surprise her, but rather cause her to sigh a bit. 

“He’s not here. Left early on a run this morning and hasn’t come back. I assume he went to Lip’s house for a while. He likes hanging out over there. I can give you the address if you’d like?” She offered, starting to rummage around for a piece of paper and a pen. He contemplated this for a second, wondering how Ian would react if Mickey randomly showed up at his brother’s apartment. 

“It’s not that important actually,” Mickey interrupted, “Can I drop this off in his room?” he held up the bag, causing Fiona to hesitate then nod.

“Yeah um… up the stairs and straight ahead and to the right, you won’t miss it.” She nodded, crossing her arms as Mickey turned, walking to the stairs and exiting the kitchen as soon as he possibly could. He didn’t like the way that Fiona looked at him, it was too judgmental.

Mickey found Ian’s room soon enough, placing the bag on his bed and pausing to look around. Lip’s bed was now obviously Carl’s with posters everywhere. Ian’s place was clean except a few army memorabilia and a few photos that caught Mickey’s eyes. Ian was stood next to his sister, both of them much smaller. Ian wrestling with someone in the pool. Ian, a small child, covered in freckles.   
Mickey took a deep breath and walked out. 

 

-

 

Iggy noticed that Mickey was unusually quiet, not even telling him to turn his music off. The most he received was a look when he decided to play Listen to Your Heart, but other than that he just stared out the window, frowning at the passing lights. 

Christmas was an odd time for the Milkovich siblings, and as the holiday was only a week away now, they all started to feel it. When they were children, Christmas was as magical to them as it was to everyone else, but of course that didn’t last. Once their mom passed, things had changed. Mickey was so young that he locked himself in his room, refusing to come out. Their dad had made it clear they weren’t having a Christmas, even going as far as burning their old plastic tree. Iggy had never seen Mickey so upset than that year. It seemed every time that Christmas came around, Mickey almost resorted back to that childhood state, not really leaving his apartment. The most he ever did was let Mandy drop off her present and some poorly cooked food. 

“Joey found a bank transaction that may help us with the issue we’ve been having.” Mickey mumbled after a good twenty minutes of driving. 

“That’s good. You can finally move pass this then,” Iggy smiled, causing Mickey to hesitate then nod. “But, I’m guessing that you’re worried about something. Something with Ian?” Iggy wondered, causing Mickey to nod the smallest amount. “Right.” Iggy nodded, turning the car.

“Where are we going?” Mickey wondered out loud. 

“To get some drinks. If I’m giving you advice to get a boyfriend then I’m going to need a few shots.” Iggy smiled, making Mickey grin a bit too.

“Please, don’t try to fool me. You drink that fruity shit and you know it.”

 

-

 

It took twenty minutes, multiple shots, and a few mojitos later, and Mickey was already ranting about random things. “I mean seriously, what the fuck? David was totally there for her through all of it. Her sisters alien thing and all of that! He lit himself on fire! He’s under rated like no other.” Mickey said angrily, causing Iggy to laugh some.

“Ok, as nice as it is to hear you rant about Lilo and Stitch, which I’m not going to ask more about, what the hell is going on between you and Ian?” Mickey’s face visibly dropped a bit as he looked at his cup, swirling the whiskey a bit.

“I have no fucking idea. I like him, you know, but it won’t work. It never fucking works. I guess I was just waiting for it all to blow up. Then it did.” Iggy watched him for a second, contemplating his next words for a moment.

“Is it possible that you were wanting it to?” Iggy asked softly.

“What?” Mickey looked up suddenly, “Why the hell would I want that?” 

“You said you were waiting for it to blow up. The last time you tried this you were what… seventeen?”

“16.” Mickey mumbled, cringing at the painful memory. “I don’t want to bring that up.”

“Right, sorry. Anyways if you only had one experience, you’re obviously scared of what’s to come. Are you sure you weren’t looking for an out before you could hurt him. If he hurt you, you’d end it before you got to him.” Iggy explained knowingly sipping his mojito. “I think you pushed him away when you got the chance instead of working it out.” Mickey watched his brother in confusion for a moment before he broke out into a stupid smile.

“You watch too many Soap Operas.” He rolled his eyes.

“Ok, one, you know I’m right, and two, Kate Roberts is an amazing character, don’t even try to insult her life.” Iggy smiled, making Mickey laugh.

 

-

 

“Ian, that you!?” Fiona yelled from the kitchen, causing Ian to walk straight for it, ignoring the massive mess. That was pretty usual for around here. 

“What the hell are you doing?” Ian asked in confusion as Fiona was covered in flour. She rolled her eyes, sighing as she knocked some of it off of her hands.

“Making a birthday cake.” She sighed. 

“You realize that it’s none of our birthdays, right?” Ian asked, causing Fiona to give her famous =‘you disappoint me’ look. Ian smiled a little. 

“It’s not for you.” She replied, smiling a little more. Ian rolled his eyes, examining the name on the cake.

“This for your new guy? You gonna marry this one too? What is that, your fourth marriage?” Ian replied happily, and from the look he earned, he knew he’d won this battle. She sighed, defeated, and waved her hands around a little, trying to regain her thoughts.

“Your uh… friend. Mickey, he came over today. Dropped off something for you in your room.” She mumbled, and when she turned back to look at Ian, he was already gone up the stairs. He practically sprinted into his room, seeing a bag that wasn’t his. Quickly, Ian unzipped it, only to feel his heart drop a bit when he saw it was his clothes. He sighed, picking up a t-shirt from inside, and started to put them away. He would wash them, but judging by the smell, Mickey had already done that for him.

“What’s that?” Carl asked, alerting Ian that he was in fact actually in the room on his bed. 

“My clothes. Mickey dropped them off for me.” He sighed, pulling them all out of the bag.

“Where were they before?”

“His house.” Ian shrugged, then paused. Should he have told Carl that? Should he have told anyone that.

“Oh, you two break up?” Carl asked casually. “He seemed cool. I liked his knuckle tattoos.” He smiled, examining his own knuckles like he was imagining some there, “they were bad ass.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty bad ass himself. And we didn’t break up,” Ian shrugged.

“But you got into a fight?” Ian hesitated then nodded. “What for?” 

“I did something bad. I stole something from him, and I don’t even know how to return it because I’m pretty sure he wants to stab me.” Ian sighed, sitting on his bed to look up at Carl, who was watching him intently. 

“Drop it off outside his house and ring the doorbell. High-tail it outta there before he opens the door.” Carl shrugged. Ian pondered this for a moment, thinking maybe Carl had a point. 

“Yeah maybe.” Ian shrugged, looking at the empty bag to his side before he paused. Looking the pile that was laid out, he smiled just a little to himself as a realization set over him. 

Mickey took his jacket.


	13. 13.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Because now I can say your name in a prayer. It's right there, next to the Hallelujah and the goodbye. Looked for radio A voice built by sin. Indulgence, the finer things. Know the room, with letters that you never sent. Never meant to. Who's it send to? Every train that you can catch will arrive. Every hour, Every day.” – Let Me Go, by Shane Koyczan

As the holidays quickly approached, the only Milkovich sibling that was actually excited was Mandy. She even made a point to burst into Mickey’s apartment two days before the given doomsday, multiple bags in each hand. He’d only sighed and looked up from his coffee, sparing his sister a glance. She waltzed in with a big smile on her face, wearing some stupid bright green sweater and some silly light up necklace with tiny dangling reindeers. 

“The hell are you wearing?” He raised an eyebrow, looking her awful choice of outfit up and down as her smile widened and she ran off to the kitchen, setting the bags down.

“You like it? I got it half off at some store that Svetlana took me to. Makes me feel festive,” she walked back into the living room, placing her hands on her hips as she started looking around. Mickey caved, shutting off the TV and focusing on his sister as she started to examine the room and ramble to herself.

“Ok, the hell are all the bags for?” Mickey asked, making her smile even wider.

“Ok now don’t say no yet bu-”

“No.” He cut her off, causing her to frown and continue talking regardless.

“You don’t even know what I was going to say.” She protested. 

“If you have to ask me it’s going to be a no.” He shrugged, “I don’t want to go out or go shopping or any of that. I want to stay right here, and no I’m not helping you wrap anything. I plan to avoid anything Christmas-like, holly, jolly, or anything in between.” She looked down, biting her lip before looking up through her eyelashes.

“Don’t kill me but… you’re having a party. Ikindofalreadyinvitedeveryone.” She smiled, causing Mickey to look up with fire in his eyes. “It’s for your own good anyways. You can’t spend every year hating one of the best times of the year and I fully plan on showing you it’s not that bad. I’m determined to fix you Mickey.” She said triumphantly as he groaned.

“And what if I fucking say no? I don’t want anyone here on Christmas.” He grumbled, sending her a glare.

“No, you haven’t wanted anyone here at all since Ian left. Time for you to suck it up and get back out there, it’s been weeks.” She sighed, dropping her arms to her side as she walked to sit by Mickey on the couch. “Mickey, you can’t stay cooped up in your apartment for so long. I hate to say it but you need to do some jobs, earn something, maybe get laid, and live your life. You are not stopping here because of Ian. Trust me… you have to be at this party. You need it Mick.” 

He hesitated his options for a moment. On one hand, he didn’t want to see anyone because Mandy was right, he’d not spoken to anyone. His mind was replaying everything about Ian from his lopsided smile to the way his hands felt to the look on his face the night he left. Four weeks later and Mickey was still angry, but he was upset at the same time. Fuck, Ian hadn’t cared that he wasn’t the best person. He’d just been there. On the other hand, though, Ian stole from him with no explanation or fix. He hadn’t even returned the photo, and frankly Mickey was beginning to wonder if he’d ever see that picture of his mother again. 

“There better be alcohol.” He mumbled, causing her to squeal in excitement and throw her arms around his shoulders. He patted her arm reluctantly as she pulled back, her grin somehow even larger than before. 

“Great. I brought over all of the decorations and we can be done by two if we start now.” She said happily, causing Mickey’s eyes to widen.

“It’s fucking ten.” 

“You agreed.”

 

-

 

Ian blew another puff of smoke as he waited for Lip to get to the house. He was finally getting the photo back, and fuck he was excited to see the final result. He’d been waiting weeks now. Weeks of Mickey ignoring his texts and weeks of dealing with Fiona and the others. He loved his family, but they could be just a bit much. He was ready to get this over with and get on with his life. If this didn’t work, Ian decided to get out of the city for a while, maybe find his uncle or someone and crash with them. 

“Ian!” He heard a voice call, and he turned to see Lip walking with a girl. She was small with hair that barely touched her shoulders. Pretty, but she didn’t quite look like Lip’s “type”.

“Hey!” He called back, stubbing out his cigarette under his shoe and greeting his brother with a short hug. 

“This is Amanda. Amanda, this is Ian. Ian, she’s the one that made the piece you needed. Turned out pretty fucking good and I was going to wrap it, but my level of wrapping is putting it in a plastic bag so I left that also up to her.” He said as Ian reached out, shaking the girl’s hand. 

“I can’t thank you enough for this,” he smiled, taking the neatly wrapped item from her. She nodded, shrugging as Lip through an arm around her shoulder, making her look even smaller if that was at all possible. 

“It’s no problem. Lip here said it meant a lot to you.” She said, looking up to look at Lip as if he was the fucking sun. Poor girl wouldn’t know what hit her in a few months when his brother would eventually end whatever it was the two of them had. He was notorious for being with girls for as long as he needed them, only to end it with no remorse. 

“It does.” He smiled, twisting the package around in his hand.

“It’ll make a great Christmas gift for him,” she smiled. Ian nodded.

“So, you coming to join us on Christmas? We’re all meeting up at the house around six or so, but you can swing in whenever.” Lip asked.

“Yeah maybe. I’ll try to swing by, but after tonight I’m not sure if I’ll go back for a while honestly.” Ian sighed, causing Lip to laugh and nod in an understanding. 

“Yeah. Well, we better get going. I’ll see you later?” Ian nodded, watching as his brother and Amanda started to walk away.

“Wait! I need the photo!” 

“It’s inside!” Amanda called over her shoulder, sending Ian a small wave. He looked down once more at the item he held in his hands, the key to everything between them at the moment. Mandy had been true to her promise and kept her word, but she reminded Ian almost every day that Mickey was getting increasingly reclusive. 

This was the key.

 

-

 

“Merry Christmas!” The group of people in Mickey’s hallway yelled, causing him to roll his eyes and kick open his door more. Mandy and Svetlana showed up an hour early, closely followed by a few people Mickey didn’t even know. Now however, everyone from Iggy to his niece was here, and Mickey’s small apartment was feeling a bit claustrophobic, but that wasn’t even the worst part. The worst was the fake happiness of it all. 

Iggy, who wouldn’t stop laughing kept sending sad looks to Mickey only to follow them up with even sadder glances at Svetlana. Mandy was already drunk, and was being hit on by some of the unknown people. Joey was playing with his kid, only to keep checking his phone because his wife flew out to visit her mother in New York, and he missed her. Jamie was standing awkwardly in a corner, singing to bad music that Mickey despised more than the holiday itself. And that left him, sitting all alone on the couch. 

He sighed, already knowing this party was going to be the worst part of his year as he stood up to go get another drink. Maybe if he got just drunk enough, this wouldn’t suck as bad as it did. He slid off the couch, making his way to the kitchen. When he reached the counter, he came to Iggy’s side as he was still staring at Svetlana.

“Jesus, you’re practically drooling.” Mickey smiled, making Iggy groan and hide his face in his hands. 

“Is it that obvious?” he asked, his voice muffled.

“You’ve been staring at her for thirty minutes. It’s like she’s grown a third breast. Just go talk to her. There’s only like a forty maybe fifty percent chance she stabs you anyways,” Mickey offered, causing Iggy to look up from his hands and smile a little. He nodded, bulking up his shoulders and cracking his neck. He then proceeded to stand up slowly and make his way to Svetlana, who eyed him with uncertainty. Mickey wished him a silent prayer as he grabbed his beer and made his way back to the couch. 

Not a minute later the song had changed so some old song sounding like it was from the sixties, and Iggy was walking into the living room with Svetlana, pulling her into a dance. She was only slightly smaller, but as Iggy leaned forward and whispered something that made her laugh, she tucked her head into the crook of his neck and smiled a little. 

It was odd watching these people sometimes. Joey, who used to be strung out of his mind and high all of the time found love. Now he would give anything at the drop of a hat for his little girl. Jamie, who was never the happiest person was sat in the corner singing and smiling, even if he kept to himself still. Mandy, who was abused and had unspoken things done to her laughed and smiled like no one else was around. Iggy, the loner throughout their childhood was dancing and smiling with the girl he’d been crushing on for months. Mickey, who hated everyone and thought the world was the shittiest place, only to be the one proved right. He had his chance with a spark of red, and it’d all gone to shit so quickly. Maybe Iggy was right though, maybe it was his fault.

The thought hit him like a million bricks, and as he watched Iggy and Svetlana laugh as Iggy picked her up and spun her, his smile dropped. A small part of him wished that he was able to dance with Red. He’d come to terms that thinking his actual name hurt too much, and even though Mandy said he should really call him anything but Red, it was fitting. It was a small distance that helped just a little. Still, Mickey felt that hallow feeling come back to him as he watched in envy, only to be distracted by a small knock on the door. 

He sighed, sparing one final look at his brother, who was smiling more than he ever had, and slowly made his way to the door. After fiddling with the lock, he finally opened it, seeing a small package with a note attached laying on the floor. Not registering the music in the background changing to more upbeat stuff, Mickey kneeled down and picked up the note, flipping it open. A picture floated softly to the ground, and Mickey immediately recognized it as his mother’s photography. He looked back to the letter, his heart flipping. It was perfect handwriting, with his name on top.

"Mick,

I’m sorry. For everything. I’m gonna get out of the state for a while and out of your hair. I hope this will help you understand why I took it. I only wanted to surprise you.

Merry Christmas.

Red."

Mickey wasted no time setting the letter down and pulling at the wrapping of the package. It tore and Mickey felt a smile fall on his face as he carefully pulled the rest away and saw what was inside. A beautiful in color painting of his mother to replicate the black and white photograph. It was the most beautiful thing Mickey had seen in a while, and he felt his heart flutter in a way it never had before.  
He froze.

Ian.

Quickly, yet carefully, Mickey grabbed the painting, the picture, and the letter and ran them back inside to his room. He then grabbed his jacket and shoes, and ran out the door, ignoring any questioning calls. He wasted no time with the elevator, instead sprinting down the stairs, and skidding corners. Eventually, Mickey was faced with the cold dark Chicago night, and he paused, looking left to right. Ian was at the end of the street to his right, crossing over. Without thinking, Mickey ran into the street, apologizing to the car he ran in front of. His heart was beating louder and louder with every step he took. Every step he took though, he was closer to his goal.

“Ian!” He finally screamed as he got close enough, causing in to turn. Mickey was on him then, practically tackling him into an alley.

“Mickey?” Ian asked in confusion, only to be cut off by Mickey grabbing the corner of his jacket and pulling their lips together. His hands immediately went to Mickey’s waist, and if Mickey had any fear of being seen, they were gone the moment those arms pulled him closer. He pulled back only a little, pushing up on his toes to wrap his arms around Ian’s neck, hugging him like they’d never see each other again. 

“I’m still mad at you,” Mickey whispered, his voice barely a whisper as Ian’s hand stroked his hair. “I’m unbelievably mad. But you’re here.”

“I missed you too.” Ian smiled, pulling back to press a kiss to Mickey’s forehead. 

“Mandy’s having a party. In my apartment. Come back with me?” Mickey looked up, only to smile and hug Ian again the moment he nodded. Mickey was someone that hated the world and everyone in it, but he’d found a small light in the shade of red. He’d found someone that made him feel like he had a home, someone who was never afraid of him. Someone he liked, maybe even one day could love. 

It wasn’t until a gunshot sounded down the street that the two actually pulled away from one another, reminded of where they were. In an unspoken look, the two turned around, headed back towards Mickey’s apartment. It was a longer walk, but they were ok with the comfortable silence between them as they made their way back.

They even walked into Mickey apartment hand in hand, causing the room to quiet. Mickey was holding Ian’s hand. Joey and Jamie smiled a little, and Mandy’s face lit up. Svetlana, who was still dancing with Iggy rolled her eyes, and Iggy had one of his knowing looks. Mickey only looked to Ian and smiled though, because he wasn’t alone.

 

-

 

“Ok, I’ll be back tomorrow for clean up, and I promise I’ll get these decorations down,” Mandy said, hugging Mickey. She sent Ian a small smile, waving goodbye, and ducked out of the door. Mickey sighed, relieved to be done with the night, only to look at Ian.

“I can leave for the night if you want.” Ian offered, only to have the back of his head lightly smacked by Mickey. “What the fuck?!” 

“You’re an idiot.” Mickey rolled his eyes. “I haven’t seen you in weeks. You’re not going anywhere.” Mickey smiled, immediately grabbing the back of Ian’s head and pulling him into a kiss not like the ones they’ve shared before. This kiss was slower. And while Mickey felt the same heat, it was different.

It was a small flame, warming in a soft way that they both felt, because while it was shorter, they pulled apart completely breathless, staring at each other only inches apart.


	14. 14.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Back when summers… lasted… forever… and our very ﬁrst kiss… on the cheek… was the most awkward and scary and wonderful thing in the whole wide world. That’s how i like you… like… a lot.” – Falling in Like, by Erik Ott

Sun fluttered through the window as morning started to dawn, creeping its way across the dark floor boards, onto Mickey’s dark bed sheets. Per usual, Ian woke as the light crept in and touched their faces, causing him to groan a little. Normally, Ian would be all over mornings, going for a run or to get coffee. Sometimes he got up earlier just to watch the sun itself. As he turned though, all Ian wanted to do was stay where he was.

Next to him, Ian took in the beauty that was Mickey in the mornings. He was still sleep, laying on his stomach with an arm thrown over Ian and the other one gripping his pillow. His face was smooshed into it, with his cheek puffing out a little and his mouth hanging open, a small snoring noise escaping from it. He was shirtless, revealing the smallest of freckles on his shoulders, illuminated by the soft golden light that made his pale skin look like it was glowing. He was completely and utterly beautiful, and Ian felt his heart flutter in his chest. He smiled to himself before shifting as quietly as he could away from the boy, moving his arm off of him. 

His feet hit the floor with a small thud, and Ian held his breath to make sure he didn’t wake up Mickey before he made his way to the door. Upon exiting the room, he let out a breath and made his way to the kitchen. He then made a point to be quiet as he made some coffee, putting the smallest amount of cream and a ton of sugar, just how Mickey took it. He grabbed the warm cup with both hands, making his way back to Mickey’s room, where the boy was still sound asleep. Ian grinned and set the coffee on the small stand next to the bed before he was crawling onto the bed, straddling Mickey’s sides as he let his hands settle on the boy’s hips. Coming out of sleep, Mickey grinned the smallest amount, smiling into his pillow without opening his eyes.

“Good morning,” Ian whispered, leaning down to set his chin on Mickey’s shoulder, making the boy’s smile widen as he opened one eye just enough to look at Ian. 

“It’s a bit early don’t you think?” Mickey asked, though his voice showed no hint of annoyance. Ian grinned, placing a small kiss to Mickey’s shoulder-blade, then his shoulder, and finally his neck, to which Mickey leaned his head into. Ian smiled, leaning back to quickly flip Mickey over, which caused him to wake up fully. His eyes were wide and challenging as he raised his eyebrows at Ian, who was pinning his wrists down to the sides of his head. Ian smirked, leaning down slowly and placing a kiss on Mickey’s forehead. 

Mickey could help that his eyes widened even more at the action, but all the challenge slipped out of them, followed quickly by shock. The action was so simple, but so out of the ordinary for Mickey. No one ever kissed his forehead or showed their affection in a way like that towards him. He was so used to the occasional one-night stand that something as simple as a kiss caught him completely off guard. Ian pulled back smiling, watching Mickey for a moment before he leaned down again, letting their lips touch this time. And just like that Mickey’s shock was forgotten as his mind blanked of everything but Ian. He pushed up into the boy only to pout when Ian pulled away, sitting up and releasing Mickey’s arms. 

“Drink your coffee,” He smiled, nodding towards the cup next to Mickey as he moved off of the brunette boy’s lap. Mickey’s face lit up as he quickly reached for the cup and took a drink, ignoring the burning from its warmth. 

“Did I ever tell you how great you are?” Mickey sighed happily, closing his eyes as he took another sip. Ian rolled his eyes, looking at Mickey oddly.

“My family would disagree at the moment,” Ian said, his voice filling with an odd tone, which caused Mickey to look at him, ignoring his coffee. Ian was holding his phone, staring at it with an odd sadness in his eyes. Mickey put the coffee back, then reached out and grabbed the phone softly from Ian’s hands. The red-head looked to him in confusion as Mickey placed a small kiss on his lips then looked into his eyes with an intensity that chilled Ian to the bones. 

“Fuck them. You’re better than you think.” Ian looked over his face for a moment before nodding the slightest amount. Mickey’s face softened. “Now what the fuck are they upset about anyways?” 

“I was supposed to be there for Christmas.” He looked at Mickey with a small smile, “You kind of distracted me though. They’re just annoyed I didn’t show up, something I haven’t done in a long time. It worries them.” He trailed off and Mickey paused contemplating how to help the situation. He needed to be working on the mission at hand but could one day really hurt them all that much? 

“Go see them today.” He stated before he could go back and change his mind, “We’ll go today and visit them before everyone goes back to their boring daily shit. That way you still kind of made it down.” Ian’s eyes lit up a little as he looked Mickey over. 

“Yeah.”

 

-

 

Something had changed as the three made their way down the streets still crisp with the morning air. Mickey was originally going to be the only one coming, but upon telling Mandy that she insisted that she come with. Mickey figured this was probably an excuse for her to get free food. No one really seemed to mind much though, and it gave Ian someone to talk to as Mickey thought quietly. He was always lost in thought the moment they entered Canaryville. It was almost like he’d walked through a portal, because this place held so many memories he’d tried to forget. This was different though.

These were definitely still the same streets he grew up on. The houses were still breaking down, sinking further and further every year without changing much otherwise. The trees were bare, and yards were overfilling with junk no one wanted enough to keep locked up somewhere. Kids were still screaming down the streets, followed by darks barking and the sound of trains. With every step, Mickey heard the familiar crunch of snow on the broken sidewalk. It wasn’t the town that was different though, it was him. For the first time since he left this dump he didn’t feel his heart race like his father would walk around the corner. For the first time in forever, Mickey didn’t feel the weight on his shoulders that he normally felt here, and he had a hunch it had to do with the laughing boy in front of him. 

Finally, they rounded the corner to the Gallagher house, and the three started up towards the front porch. From inside voices could already be heard, more than there usually were. Ian walked in to a chorus of hellos, and Mickey followed closely behind. The usual Gallaghers were there with the addition of Kevin, his wife, a brunette girl, some guy hanging off of Fiona, and Ian’s dad. Mickey wasn’t even sure how this many people fit into this house. 

“Mickey!” Liam cheered, jumping off his seat on the couch next to Kevin and running to greet Mickey. Mickey smiled, leaning down to meet the boy, who pulled him into a hug. Ian watched with a smile on his face.

“Have you gotten taller since I was here last?” Mickey smiled, making the boy’s grin widen even more as he nodded enthusiastically. 

“Careful Mickey, a few more inches and that kid is gonna be taller than you,” Mandy laughed, making Lip smile and eye her in admiration. Mickey rolled his eyes, standing up straight as he ruffled the child’s hair. 

“Ian,” Fiona smiled, moving to hug Ian, who more-so just stood there awkwardly, “I’d like you to meet Mike,” she smiled, pointing to the guy next to her, who offered a hand. Ian shook it distastefully and quickly ended it. 

“I give it a month more at most,” Lip whispered to Mickey, making him snicker and nod. “I’m gonna get a smoke,” Lip told the girl next to him before turning to Mickey, “come on.” He said, not really making it a request. Mickey rolled his eyes and nodded though, moving with Lip pass everyone so the two could move to the back of the house. Lip opened the door, letting it close with a slam behind them as they made their way to the porch. He quietly pulled out his cigarette pack, handing one to Mickey and grabbing his lighter, lighting them both. 

“So, why’d you call me here? I’m guessing this isn’t some friendly get to know you,” Mickey said, leaning against the railing as he looked out over the town he used to call home. Lip let out a smoky laugh, nodding a little.

“Yeah, it’s not. You and Ian huh?” He asked, making Mickey look at him with narrowed eyes. Lip caught it and smiled a bit. “Don’t worry I’m not gonna tell anyone. I just want you to be careful ok?” Lip said, catching Mickey a little off guard.

“And why the fuck should I be careful?” Mickey raised an eyebrow. 

“I don’t want you hurting him. You’re not the nicest person from what I gather. History of violence. Used to be heavily involved in drugs. You’re a wanted man. Ian? He doesn’t deal with shit that takes a dramatic change too fast all that well. Something like that happened a few years ago, when he was diagnosed as bipolar. I’ve never seen him hit such a low point in his life. I can’t watch him go through that again.” Lip whispered. Mickey looked at Lip with his usual intensity.

“Look I don’t know if you’re trying to scare me off early or warn me. Either way I’m not gonna fucking bail on someone for a flaw they have. If you really knew anything about me you’d know I don’t bail on people.” 

Mickey stubbed out his cigarette, walking back inside. 

 

-

 

“There you are,” Ian handed Mickey a beer as the sun started to set. He was currently covered in snow, thanks to Liam, and was freezing more than usual. He was definitely not built for the cold, even if he’d lived in it all his life. “You sure you don’t want another jacket or something?” he smiled as Mickey shivered once more. 

“I’m going to become the dough boy if you keep piling shit on me.” Mickey frowned, making Ian laugh a bit, grabbing Mickey’s arm to lead him back to the porch. “I’m gonna take a break buddy!” He yelled to Liam, who pouted as Ian started dragging him away. “I still plan on kicking your butt.” Liam smiled.

“He likes you,” Ian smiled as the two moved to sit on the steps of the porch. 

“Careful, you may be competing for my favorite Gallagher,” Mickey teased, making Ian pout. Mickey bumped him with his arm playfully. Ian smiled, looking back out at the sunset, and watching as Liam laughed over the epic snowball fight happening. Fiona, V, and Carl had teamed up against the others in an interesting battle, which really turned into everyone against Lip and Kevin. 

Mickey watched as Ian smiled, content as how the day was going. And without even thinking, Mickey moved closer and placed his head on Ian’s shoulder, because no, Mickey didn’t feel all that scared.

Ian put his arm around Mickey and they watched the sun set.

 

-

 

“Can I ask you something?” Mickey whispered to Ian. They were sat on the L, Mandy fast asleep with her head on Ian’s lap. Ian looked up at Mickey, nodding a bit. “Why didn’t you tell me you were bipolar?” Ian’s face noticeably darkened at the question, and he took a deep breath as he turned to look at the floor. 

“I was scared.” Ian said softly. 

“Scared?”

“Of freaking you out. Wouldn’t be the first time that someone left because I’m fucked up.” Ian shrugged, but Mickey wasn’t having that.

“You’re not fucked up, just a little flawed.” He shrugged. “Doesn’t mean I’m gonna just up and fucking leave you for it.” Ian looked to him, his heart welling a little.

“My mom is bipolar. Used to scare the shit out of me when she was actually around. Then I was diagnosed and it hit me like a truck. I got onto some bad shit, worked at a club, and all that. Lip found me and I was completely out of it. Then I hit the low and I wouldn’t move out of bed for weeks. Didn’t really want to get treated for a while either. I’m doing better though. I’m on my meds, and I have bad days, but I can deal with it now.” Ian said quickly. Mickey nodded.

“OK.” He said softly, and Ian was feeling it too. That feeling I his chest that had weighed him down for a while now seemed just a bit more bearable. “I won’t run.” Mickey said quietly.

Ian moved to speak again but Mickey’s phone started to buzz, a name displaying on the screen. He smiled a smile apology smile at Ian and lifted the phone up to his ear.  
“Hey Joey,” he said quiet enough as not to wake Mandy.

“Mick.” Joey said, his voice a little off. Mickey immediately tensed, hearing the sound of crying in the background. 

“What the fuck is going on?” 

“You need to get down here. I have Andra with me now, but they’re all over at Jamie’s. It’s Iggy. He’s been shot.


	15. 15.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Nobody told me every moment without you would seem so long. I get so lonely and the nights have been so cold since you've been gone. Did I go and make believe the way you touched me? Was it real or just a game my mind was playing, tell me.” – The Flame of Love, by Richard Marx

Mickey’s face had been pale since the phone call, and Mandy’s had been close to match it. They’d woken her up after Mickey told Ian in a broken voice what had happened to his brother, and she’d immediately started crying. Ian had been the one to pull her into a hug, only using one had because Mickey was gripping his other with a grip that was turning his knuckles white. They could only sit here and wait until the train arrived at the stop they needed. Until then it was a sense of dread and anxiety that had settled over the three of them. 

10 minutes, and Ian was clutching both of the people he held dear, trying to make the situation better, even though he had no control over the situation of how it was going to turn out. He could watch as Mandy’s face slowly turned a blotchy color and her eyes smear black with ruined makeup. Her voice croaked and squeaked with every passing moment she bit down on her lip to stay quieter. 

5 minutes, and Mandy felt as if everyone she loves eventually meets a fate that they didn’t deserve. Iggy was her partner in crime, her second closest brother. He was the one she took shopping and danced around with. He was the one she’d talk to at night, the one to make her feel better when she was sad. He was her happy soul who never let her down. 

1 minute, and Mickey was feeling that feeling again. He was gripping Ian’s hand as tightly as he could without meaning to. His head was becoming dizzy and his eye sight was fading in and out as he felt himself swaying to keep up right. His stomach was twisting so fast he felt he may be sick, but that wouldn’t happen because he couldn’t even get his mouth to open up. In a way, he envied Mandy for being able to cry, because he felt numb and worried all at once and it was not a feeling he enjoyed. Iggy was his right-hand man, his most important work asset. Most importantly though, he was Mickey’s big brother. 

The train stopped, and the siblings felt Ian lift them off their seats and guide them from the train onto the platform. Mickey didn’t even think about the fact that he was still holding Ian’s hand or that he looked as if he’d seen a ghost, because they were walking as fast as they could to get to Joey’s house. 

 

-

 

Mickey was the first to enter the apartment, sobering up just enough to switch walk in like he owned the place, immediately looking around for Iggy. There was a noise from the bedroom, and all three of the newcomers ran in, only to find blood everywhere. On a table, Iggy lay with his eyes rolled back, gasping as he held his side weakly. Joey’s wife, Angelina, was running around him frantically trying to cover his wounds. Mandy immediately broke into more tears and broke from Ian’s arms to run to her brother’s side. Angelina started yelling orders and directing Mandy to do stuff, which she followed through on despite being unable to stop her tears. Mickey at this moment froze, his breath hitching as he stumbled backwards, only to be caught by Ian. 

There was a sound, something that sounded like it was underwater. A muffled voice, something deeper, perhaps a man’s. Then his shoulder was moving back and forth, a small weight laying on top of it and in the swarm of bright lights, everything started moving in slow motion. He slowly turned his head, to see Ian sticking out like an angel with a glowing white around him. He was shaking Mickey’s shoulder, and his mouth was moving, speaking. It was him making the underwater voice. Almost just as slowly, the sound started to fade in. 

“Mickey? Mickey come on.” Ian said softly, grabbing Mickey’s shoulder to aim him towards the door. He nodded, not really a nod but moving his head the slightest amount and letting himself be moved into an opposite room. It was warm, like the heat had been turned up all of the way. Ian led him to the couch, sitting them both down. He was running his hand up and down Mickey’s arm letting him lean into his side. 

“Is he going to die?” Mickey managed to croak out as he looked up at Ian. And for the first time, this was completely different. Mickey was usually so guarded, even when he was upset like when his family friend had died. This wasn’t like that though, his eyes were wide and glazed over, and his whole body was shaking just a little. For the first time since they met, Ian was seeing Mickey in his most vulnerable state. Ian shook his head, leaning to kiss the top of Mickey’s head.

“Hey, he’s gonna be just fine baby,” Ian whispered into his hair. He only hoped he wasn’t lying. 

 

-

 

Twenty minutes later, Angelina came walking into the room, much cleaner than before with her long black hair tied back. Immediately, Ian was able to see the resemblance between her and Andra. She was absolutely beautiful, with tan skin and big brown eyes. She smiled softly, walking to the two boys and squatting down just enough to be eye level with Mickey.

“Hey,” she whispered softly, “Iggy’s ok. You can go see him if you want. I managed to stop the bleeding, and give him stuff for the pain. I did get all of the bullets out as well, and get some of the wounds completely stitched up but he’s not going anywhere at the moment.” She held out a hand and Mickey took it, looking a bit better than before. “Me and Ian will stay here, ok? Mandy went to go clean up in the bathroom, so you can go see him before those meds kick in.” he nodded, slowly standing and walking towards the bedroom.

When he reached the room, his face paled once more to see his brother propped up with some pillows. His arm, leg, and side were all covered in bandages. Mickey sighed, sniffing a little as he walked into the room, catching Iggy’s attention. His brother looked up, smiling a little at his little brother. 

“All I wanted was a drink, I guess I got a shot huh?” Iggy smiled weakly, causing Mickey to give him a look and grin none-the-less. 

“You’re an idiot you know that?” He whispered, finally moving to his brother, “I’m happy you’re ok. You scared me a little, you know.” He said, his smile breaking for a fraction of a second. 

“I’m ok Mick,” Iggy said, much more serious than he was before, “I’m gonna have some kick ass scars but I’m ok. I wouldn’t die on you. You’re my baby brother, who would tell you when you’re being a dumb ass?”

“Mandy, probably,” Mickey offered, making Iggy chuckle before wincing in pain.

“Nah, she doesn’t know what the phrase sugarcoat means.” He smiled. “Ian here?”

“Yeah, he um… he brought me here, I guess.” He shrugged awkwardly. Iggy smiled.

“Look Mickey, I’m tired, ok? I don’t mean to sound rude, but let him take you home. I need some sleep man, Angie has me on these fucking pills and it’s getting real hard to keep my eyes open.” Iggy smiled. Mickey nodded, deciding as soon as possible that he would get Iggy to tell him what he knew. For now, though, he waved to his brother and sighed because he was going to be ok, and Mickey left the room. 

 

-

 

By the time they got back to Mickey’s apartment, both of the boy’s where exhausted, ready to be done with the day. Mickey had been oddly quiet, staring out the window with an odd look on his face. Ian payed for the taxi and the two hopped out of the car, Mickey walking at a slower pace to get inside the building itself. It wasn’t until they got to the inside of the apartment that he spoke at all. Ian had shrugged off his jacket, moving towards the kitchen to get some food when Mickey looked around. His apartment was covered in Christmas decorations, fluttering a soft light over everything, and then there was Ian. 

“Ian?” Mickey mumbled, catching the boy’s attention just enough to make him pause as he grabbed the sleeve of Ian’s shirt, pull him around until their lip met. Ian paused, as Mickey pushed up on his toes to be closer, placing a hand on each side of Ian’s face, then slowly moving them to wrap his arms around Ian’s neck. Ian moved his own hands to Mickey’s hips, leaning down so Mickey could stand on the floor. When he did pull back, the smaller placed his forehead to Ian’s looking up with wide blue eyes into Ian’s green ones.

“I did some thinking,” Mickey whispered, causing Ian to smile just a bit.

“You breaking up with me Milkovich?” Ian asked softly, causing Mickey to let out a small breath and shake his head. 

“No, I’m not. This is a whole lot scarier, trust me.” He whispered, “I’m asking you officially if you’d like to be in a relationship… with me... as my boyfriend.” He looked up with questioning eyes, causing Ian to smile. “I know I’m crazy half the time and I know that. I’m some criminal and I know that that you deserve better. I jus-” He wrapped his arms around Mickey, placing another kiss to his lips as he nodded. 

“Yeah. I’m with you Mick. I’m in this until the end.” Ian smiled.

“You’re an idiot.” Mickey smiled, his eyes showing that he didn’t really mean it. Ian nodded, then paused and looked to the radio in the corner. 

“You wonna dance with this idiot?” he asked, causing Mickey to look a bit taken back. He nodded regardless though, and Ian smiled as he walked to turn on the radio. He flicked it on, only to get a crackly version of All I Want for Christmas, and turned to smile at Mickey.

“I hate this song… and I can’t dance.” Mickey groaned. Ian only smiled more though, and walked up to Mickey, putting one arm around his waist and taking his hand with the other. 

“Your brother got shot, you’re being chased by a mad man. I think you can take a moment to relax. I’ll even let it fly if you step on my feet.” He grinned, causing Mickey to smile as he moved a hand to the back of Ian’s neck, playing with the back of his hair a little.

“You’re my distraction?” Mickey raised an eyebrow.

“I’ll happily be your distraction.”

“I’ll take it.” 

 

-

 

“You’re being an idiot,” Mickey’ father laughed as he watched his wife spin around the room. She loved this time of the year, always singing and dancing to the holiday music on her vinyl records. She’d tie up her black hair, letting her bangs fall in her face, and put on a nice dress. It was always the same on, a red sun dress she’d owned for so long. 

“I’m just singing Terry,” she grinned, walking towards Mickey, who was sitting next to his father on the couch, “come on baby.” He took her hand, jumping off the couch to join her. She bent down, spinning him around, and causing him to giggle. From the corner Mandy laugh and Iggy smiled fondly while his other brothers rolled their eyes. 

“Oh, come on hun, he’s a boy he shouldn’t be dancing,” Terry sighed, causing his mother to look up challengingly.

“You used to dance with me.” She smiled, causing him to roll his eyes as she looked at Mickey, “YA lyublyu tebe, miy anhel.”

 

-

 

He gave a soft grin, moving closer so his head rested on Ian’s neck, smiling into it as Ian twirled them a bit. He never saw himself in this situation. If you’d asked him where he would be a few months ago, he would have said that he would be working, building his empire. Now, he was dancing under Christmas lights with Ian. And for the first time in a long time, he felt not only at ease, but happy. His heart was warm and glowing, and he didn’t want to work. He wanted to stay in this bubble right now. He wanted to stay with this boy, who despite everything in the last few months, chose to stick around for some reason. 

In those moments, all that was heard was the sounds of light breathing, crackly music, and the heater. Mickey could feel the arm securely set around his waist, a hand clutched softly in his own. He could even smell the slight cologne that always seemed to linger on Ian. 

“YA lyublyu tebe,” Mickey whispered, pulling back a little. Ian smiled that lopsided smile and raised an eyebrow in confusion at Mickey looked into his eyes, their faces only inches apart. 

“What does that mean?” Ian whispered back. Mickey smiled softly.

“I love you.”


	16. 16.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “You’re the fire and the flood, and I’ll always feel you in my blood. Everything is fine when your hand is resting next to mine” – The Fire and The Flood, by Vance Joy

Ian pulled back, his eyes wide in surprise as he looked at Mickey. He hadn’t expected Mickey to say something like that so soon into their relationship and quite honestly, it threw Ian off quite a bit. Mickey wasn’t the type of person to say things like that, nor was he one to say it so soon. Mickey was even surprised by his own remark, not expecting it to fall out of his mouth. 

The last time Mickey had said those three words to someone, he hadn’t seen them again. He’d brought a boy home, only to be caught by his father, who, to say it lightly, freaked out. He’d run out of the house, beaten and blue, blood running down his pale face. He ran out to chase after the blonde boy he’d liked for so long. He’d said those words, a last resort to keep him, but the boy only gave him that look, the look of regret before he left. When Ian pulled back, he made Mickey’s heart drop instantly, because he held that same look in his eyes.

Mickey swallowed in those thirty seconds, his voice catching in his throat, adding to the silence between them. Ian hesitated, opening his mouth then closing it, unsure of what to say in this situation. Almost as if he was being burned, Mickey pulled away quickly, unweaving himself from Ian and his touch. Mickey walked backwards, watching Ian like he’d grown two heads, or like he’d slapped Mickey, and in a way, it seemed like he had.

“Mick-” Ian tried, but Mickey only stepped back further, his eyes wide, a swirling pool of deep blue. 

“This…” Mickey said, looking down. “This was a mistake. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that to you. I take it back.” He whispered as Ian stepped closer, reaching out and grabbing Mickey’s wrist. He flinched once more like Ian’s touch had burned him, but this time he didn’t pull away.

“You caught me off guard.” Was all Ian said, but even as Mickey looked up, he could see that the boy was not ready to say those words back to Mickey. So, he nodded, slowly pulling his arm away from Ian, and rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. He wouldn’t cry in front of Ian. No matter what he did, he would not cry in front of Ian. That showed too much vulnerability. “Mickey please say something.” The irony of that statement.

“I’m going to bed Ian.” And with that, Mickey sniffed, nudging his nose with the knuckle of his index finger, turned, and walked away from his boyfriend. “Join me if you actually feel like it. Or maybe being that close to me will catch you off guard too.” Entering the room, Mickey slammed the door, causing Ian to wince.

He’d messed up, that much was obvious, but it was the degree of severity that worried him the most. Mickey rubbed his eyes, almost on the edge of tears, and that hurt to watch. Mickey didn’t cry in front of people that often, so for him to start to do that… that was a bigger deal than anyone would let on. Hell, Mickey had wanted to make them official only a few minutes ago, and that alone was a big deal. The I love you was even bigger, but… it was true that Ian hadn’t been expecting it. 

There was no doubt in his mind that he loved Mickey, but that’s not the reason he hesitated. Ian had been through so much with Mickey in the past few months, and despite everything, he cared about Mickey so deeply. He was utterly lost on the boy with the blue eyes and jet-black hair. He hesitated because of all they’ve gone through. In the few months that Mickey had known Ian, he’d lost so many people not only through work but family wise. Mickey had lost people he grew up with, people he cared about, and no matter how silent he would be about it, it was taking a toll on him. Saying I love you simply felt like a curse. The only thing that went through Ian’s head was ‘what if something happened to me too?’ because, yeah, he knew that’d destroy Mickey in a completely new way. And with that thought Ian walked to the small balcony attached to the apartment and looked out over the city, wondering if they were even worth the pain.

 

-

 

When Mickey woke up Ian was gone, and so was his stuff. The side of the bed Ian slept on was made up neatly, a small note laying on top of it. Mickey felt his whole body go numb as he slowly reached out and grabbed the neatly folded paper. On the front was his name, written in bold and crisp lettering. He took a breath before opening it slowly, his eyes falling on the words.

‘We both know this will hurt less this way. I do love you Mickey, but I can’t be the one to wreck you.’ Mickey couldn’t even process what was happening before he was ripping up the note and throwing his head back against his pillow. He didn’t want to move or talk to anyone. He didn’t know what he wanted to make this ok, because he was crying and for the first time in a while, he was all alone in doing so.   
He lay there, a blanket tucked over his head, blankly staring at a wall for a few hours until a small knock sounded on the door and Mandy walked into the apartment. When she found her brother, her heart ached for him. Mickey usually dealt with things by lashing out, but if something truly and deeply hurt him, he’d show it in a different way. She’d only seen him like this twice before, when her mother died and when he was fifteen. 

“Mickey?” She whispered, but received no response. “Mick? You ok?” 

“No.” It was so quiet that she almost didn’t catch it. He sounded small and scared, very unlike his usual intensity. 

“You know you can’t lay in bed all day Mick, it’s not good for you.” She sighed sadly, moving around the bed to go see his face. When she kneeled down by him, rubbing a comforting hand on his shoulder, her heart broke more for him. His eyes and face were red, and he looked more tired than she’d ever seen him. “That jerk. I told him I’d kill him if he ever did something to you.”

“It’s my fault.” Mickey said softly, “I pushed him. I did too much too fast.” Mandy frowned, standing up before walking to the window and pulling open the shades. Mickey winced and pulled the blanket up further.

“You’re not lying in bed all day. You have things to do and you’re going to get up and do them. Come on, you can go see your brother, who’s awake and doing better today, and you can go figure out what happened. Then you can get drunk with me and Svet,” Mandy offered, moving to Mickey and softly pulling the blanket away. He frowned but nodded regardless. Mandy always seemed to know what to say to make things a bit better. 

“ok.”

 

-

 

Iggy may have been in better shape, but he still looked like hell in Mickey’s book. He was obviously still in pain, and dark circles around his eyes showed he hadn’t slept much. Still, he lit up like a Christmas tree the moment his little brother entered the room. 

“Hey!” He smiled, “Where’s Ian? Did he not come with you?” he asked in confusion. Mickey’s heart dropped a little as he closed his eyes for a second and took a breath. He could do this, he was used to putting on a façade. 

“No, we actually broke up.” He said, his voice only sounding a little forced, but either way he managed to speak without breaking down again. Iggy frowned, not wanting to push the subject, but Mickey didn’t give him the chance even if he had wanted to. Instead, he cleared his throat and looked to his brother, “So, you ready to tell me what you remember from the shooting?” Iggy nodded.

“I only saw the guy for split second. It was definitely a guy, but I didn’t get his face. He was taller though, a bigger build. I wish I could tell you more but I got shot, saw a glimpse of him, and the guy was bolting.” Iggy sighed, rubbing his eyes with his hands.

“No that’s ok, you got what you could,” Mickey nodded, “How are you feeling by the way?” 

“I feel I should be asking you that. I’m ok, obviously I’m alive, and Svetlana has been bringing me coffee off and on. She has me on decaf but she stays for hours. How are you really doing though?” Iggy asked. Mickey sighed and shrugged, nudging his nose a bit before speaking, quieter than before.

“Mandy forced me out of bed. I thought it was going to be ok. And I fucked it all up by saying I loved him and when I woke up he was gone.” Iggy paused, one part of that statement standing out more than any.

“You told him you loved him?” He asked softly. 

“Yeah,” Mickey smiled a small laugh escaping his lips, “what good that did me.” 

“Mickey, I don’t think he ran because you told him you loved him. I saw the way he looked at you, he definitely felt the same. I think you’re missing part of the story though. He’s not telling you something that influenced that decision.” Mickey paused and considered this for a moment. Had Ian not told him something. 

“I don’t know.” Mickey said honestly. 

 

-

 

Ian walked down the cold street, watching his breath swirl through the air, his bag thrown over his shoulder. It would only be a while longer before he made it to Fiona’s house, and he could try to move on. This was for the best. He was protecting Mickey by doing this. That’s what he kept telling himself over and over at least. That it was all for the greater good.

His phone suddenly started ringing, causing him to jump in surprise and reluctantly check caller ID. He knew Mickey would be awake by now, however much to his surprise, it was Lip who was calling. Ian sighed and hit answer, holding the phone up to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Ian!” Lip’s voice was muffled, the way it always was when he smoked and talked on the phone, “Hey I’m glad you picked up. I have something for you, information wise. I was thinking about the stuff that’s been going on and I remembered someone talking about it but I couldn’t think of who until you all came over on Christmas. He used to hang around.” Lip sounded a bit frantic, talking quickly.

“You saying I know the guy that’s been attacking everyone?” Ian wondered, his eyebrows furrowing as he frowned.

“No, that’s what’s so weird about this! This all happened when you were out on your weird club adventure, all high and shit. You never actually met this guy, but he did meet Mickey. That’s the connection I was missing. He was right t-” Ian would have heard the rest of the sentence had it not been for the bag sliding over his face, plunging him into darkness. In surprise, he dropped his bag and phone. 

He moved, but two people grabbed his arms, and another his legs, lifting him up as they carried him and threw him into what he assumed was a vehicle. He knew immediately this had to be the people, the faceless. They’d finally found him after all. 

“Hello Ian.” A voice, dark and happy sounded in front of him. Ian sat up, the hairs standing on his neck as he froze.

He knew that voice.

 

-

 

Mickey sighed, sitting on the couch as his door burst open, Jamie running into the room with a worried expression on his face. His eyes were wide, catching Mickey off guard for only a second before he stood up. Something was wrong.

“I know who it is.”

 

-

 

“You were so close to slipping away from us Ian Gallagher.” The voice spoke lowly, it was scratchy and rough. “We hesitated seeing as you were leaving Mikhailo.” 

“I… I was trying to protect him…” Ian said, his voice trembling. He didn’t know where he was, but he was in a chair, his hands tied behind his back. It was cold in this room, despite his jacket, and his face was burning from the crisp air touching it, the thin bag over his face not doing anything to help. 

A harsh laugh came, “How did that work for you? It seemed however you did figure out you were next. Such a shame though, I wanted Mikhailo to be on the edge of his seat the whole time you were dying. Unfortunately, it seems he won’t even know you’re gone. Where you are will be a mystery until someone finds your body. Then I assume he’ll hear the news, and that will be just as good. Knowing that he will have wondered what he could have done to prevent this.

“You shouldn’t take this personally though Ian, the way I see it you’re just collateral damage. You don’t mean anything more than a game piece. I’m simply using you to get to my real enemy, so, no harsh feelings, right?”

“You’re a monster,” Ian hissed. Suddenly a sharp pain came to his side, the sound of something, probably his rib, cracking. He cried out in pain, only to have his voice echo back at him. He was in a big room, probably a ware house somewhere. There were lots of them scattered across the Chicago area, and no one ever bothered entering them. He focused on the noises then, the sound of soft generators and footsteps filling his ears.

“No,” the voice said, closer than it was before, “I think you’ll find that I’m merciful. You’ll be far dead by the time I tear your body apart for your precious boyfriend to see.” And with that another blow came to Ian, hitting his head this time. He gasped, his breath cutting off as he felt himself slip into unconsciousness. 

 

-

 

Mickey’s phone started ringing as him and Jamie ran down the stairs to his car. He quickly flipped it open, not looking at who was calling.

“Ian?” He asked quickly, hoping with all his heart that it was the red-head on the other end.

“No, it’s Lip. Wait, Ian isn’t with you?” he sounded worried, causing Mickey’s anxiety to spike. “We were talking and he just disappeared. I thought I heard a scream, but the line cut off. I was hoping you two were together.” 

“We broke up.” Mickey said, his voice bitter and full of worry, “I know who has him though.” Jamie took off speeding, Mickey loading the gun in his hand. 

“Me too.”

 

-

 

When Ian woke up his head was aching in every way possible. He did notice though that the bag or hood that covered his face was not gone, giving him a full view of the room in front of him. It was dark and grimy, as any good lair should be. The place itself seemed to be some factory or generator area, with machines everywhere. In the corner were three people, all sitting at a table talking about something, and right in front of him sat the man behind all of this.

“You’re awake.” The man noted, smiling a little, “I assume you’re in a bit of pain with those ribs of yours. I would be more concerned about that head wound though. You’re bleeding pretty badly.” He noted. 

“You won’t get away with this.” Ian spat, tasting blood in his mouth. 

“Sure, I will.” He smiled wickedly. “Your little boyfriend is far too incompetent to figure out where we are.”

“You’re forgetting something.” Ian smiled, craning his aching neck up to look at the guy, “he has help and a motive.” The man rolled his eyes, pushing away from the machine he was leaning against. “What I can’t figure out is your motive. I know that Mick’s dad did something to piss you off, but what the hell could he have done to make you go after his children?”

“He killed my wife. He was a drunk pig who never thought, and he killed her. I vowed, promised myself, that I would kill everyone in his life, then kill anyone they loved. When I had Mikhailo followed, it was you that I knew to be the key in to their empire. Ian, you’ll be the unwinding of them.” He smiled. Ian frowned.

“You’re pathetic, Sean.” He sighed, spitting at Sean’s face, which turned red in anger. He grabbed the front of Ian’s shirt.

“You’re out of time, brat.” He pulled a gun from his back pocket, sticking the barrel to the side of Ian’s head. His breath hitched, feeling the gun ready against his head. He closed his eyes, ready for it all to be over, and a shot fired. It took Ian a few moments to let out a breath -as Sean let out a scream and clutched his arm- for him to discover he was in fact not dead. 

Opening his eyes, he saw Sean pull the gun back up, only to be shot. The three at the table stood quickly, a few getting some shots in, but they all met the same fate. In the doorway, was Mickey and Jamie, both holding guns. Mickey nodded to his brother, who ran off to clear the rest of the room. Mickey himself ran towards Ian, to the back of his chair to untie him. The moment Ian was free he was throwing himself into Mickey’s arms. The boy cradled the back of his head, squeezing him, only to stop when Ian let out a pained noise from his ribs. 

“You’re ok.” He breathed. “You’re ok.”

“I’m ok.” Ian nodded, causing Mickey to start crying as he smiled.

“Did they hurt you? Can you move?” He asked softly. Ian nodded but motioned to his ribs. “Ok. You’re bleeding too, but you should be ok to get to Joey’s.”

“Mickey?” Ian asked softly, causing the frantic boy to look at him, “I didn’t want to end it. I didn’t want you to lose someone else though. Mickey, I love you too.” Mickey paused before grabbing Ian’s face between his hands and pressing their lips together in a short but heated kiss. When he pulled back he smiled.

“You’re an idiot Ian Gallagher.” He mumbled. Ian nodded, kissing him one more time. 

“Let’s go home.”


	17. 17.

2 years later

 

“You’re late,” Mickey frowned into the phone. Ian was late, twenty minutes late. He’d called and said he needed to make a small stop on the way back to their apartment, leaving Mickey in charge. “Why the hell are you so late?” 

“Easy,” he could practically hear his boyfriend grinning through the phone. “I’m on my way now. I’ll be ten minutes tops. You’re late almost every night from the shop. Plus, you know how traffic gets around this time of year.” Mickey grinned this time, folding his arms as he sat down on their bed.

“Bullshit Red, I’m working on cars all day, I’m late because I’m cleaning up dumbass. Also, you know as well as I do that everyone is at home. You’re just making shit up now so I won’t be mad at you for being so late.” Ian chuckled and he could hear the sound of an engine starting. At least Ian really was on his way now.

“Did it work?” he tried, making Mickey roll his eyes, despite the small smile that formed on his lips. He let a small huff of breath out and paused.

“Just get your ass over here. I’m tired of entertaining people.” He mumbled.

“Half of them are your family.”

“Which makes them worse than your half.” Mickey smiled. “Ten minutes Gallagher, I’m counting.” Ian chuckled as Mickey hung up the phone and sighed. There were thirteen people in their apartment, all mingling and spreading ‘holiday cheer’ as Mandy liked to call it. Mickey preferred to see it as the people he knew using Christmas as an excuse for getting drunk. Drunk people were going to be Ian’s responsibility, not his.

He sighed once more and got off the bed, walking to the living room. Everywhere he looked were stupid Christmas decorations and crappy slogans everywhere. Then he spotted it, the vodka. He smiled, making a b-line to that instead of socializing with everyone else. Unfortunately, this was easier said than done. 

“Hey!” Mandy smiled, her dark hair bouncing as she ran to Mickey, “finally done being a recluse? This is your party after all, shouldn’t you be hosting it, doing host stuff?” Mickey rolled his eyes, grabbing a cup and some of the vodka, quickly downing it. 

“Wrong, this is Ian’s party, which he wouldn’t even be having if you hadn’t placed the idea in his mind. You’re sneaky, I’ll give you that.” She smiled at that, nodding happily. At this moment, Ian finally walked through the door, carrying a gigantic wrapped box. “What the fuck did you buy Gallagher?” Mickey yelled across the room, making Ian smile. He leaned the box against the wall, slipping his jacket off before he walked to his boyfriend. Mickey smiled, standing on his toes to wrap his arms around Ian’s neck and give him a kiss that was happily returned. 

“It’s a present,” Ian smiled, pulling back as Mickey planted his feet on the floor, and placed a short kiss to the smaller boy’s forehead. Mickey smiled, causing Mandy to smile and look quickly between them. 

“The fuck are you grinning at?” Mickey asked her without even turning. She quickly moved a hand to cover her mouth.

“I’m not.” She mumbled. “I’m gonna go find Joey.” Mickey did turn then, watching his sister walk quickly out of the room and to the kitchen before he turned back to Ian. Ian shrugged, showing he didn’t know what that was all about either. 

“Ian!” A voice giggled, and on cue a small girl bounced over to him. He grinned, leaning down to pick her up by her under-arms and spin her. She erupted into a fit of laughter. 

“How’s my favorite little girl?” He asked Andra. She smiled, her face turning a little red as she giggled.

“I’m good! We got a kitten!” She said cheerfully. Mickey smiled at that and turned to Ian.

“Tell him what you named it.”

“Princess Voldemort!” She said aggressively, making Ian start laughing. Her grin widened and he smiled, ruffling her hair a bit. Iggy came over on cue, sneaking up behind her to grab her and pick her up, tickling her side. She started laughing like crazy, twisting to get away. Eventually, the boy did let her down and she ran off to her mom. 

“You’re gonna be a good dad,” Ian grinned, making Iggy smile. Behind him, Svetlana walked to his side, tucking herself in under his arm. He pulled her closer, a grin on his face. 

“I agree.” Svetlana smiled, “I’ve been training him. Daddy boot camp. He has had eight months to prepare,” she grinned, and he nodded, looking down to her stomach. They’d gotten married fairly quickly, and despite it not being planned, were happy to become parents as well. Ian smiled at the two, feeling Mickey wrap their hands together. Mickey also had a small smile on his face, watching his brother finally have the life he’d wanted for so many years.

“Have you two decided on names yet?” Lip asked, casually walking over to jump into the conversation like he’d been there all along. No one, not even Mickey, seemed to mind though. 

“Yeah,” Iggy smiled, “for a boy we’ll go with Lucas, and if it’s a girl Emilia for Svet’s mom.” She smiled more, wrapping her arm around his waist. So, a moment Mickey paused, considering if at some point in the future, him and Ian would ever adopt. A small child didn’t sound that bad for once in his life, and for once he wasn’t scared to think about the possibility of the future. They’d never said it out loud, but as they exchanged a glance, Mickey knew they were both in it for the long haul. 

“Presents!” Andra called out loudly, eyeing the big box that Ian had brought in not ten minutes ago. She was oddly impatient. 

“Debs and I will pass um out!” Fiona yelled, setting her cup down. She’d decided to take a break from the guys, trying to reconnect with the family more as of recently. As promised, her and Debbie ran to the tree, starting to grab a pile of presents, and the others went to sit down. Despite his age, Liam ran to throw himself on the couch and practically sit on top of Mickey, much to Andra’s disappointment until Ian grabbed her. 

They passed out all of the smaller presents, everyone laughing and enjoying themselves. I wasn’t until they reached the end that the big present was pointed out by the smaller children, each who wanted to know who it was for. Ian smiled, scooting Andra off his lap and standing. He turned, holding his hand out for Mickey to grab, which surprised not only the children but him. 

Reluctantly, Mickey took his hand and walked to the box, Ian standing behind him. Suddenly, Mickey did feel a bit like a child and started ripping at the paper wrapping the item. Once he removed it, he froze, his heart beat quickening as he pulled the rest of the paper off. 

“It’s a guitar,” he whispered, his eyes trailing it, “like mom’s old one.” Carefully, he pulled it out of its protection, his eyes falling to the wider end, where ‘YA lyublyu tebe’ was inscribed in Ian’s handwriting. Mickey paused, unable to speak or react, because this was all so much. His hand trailed up the smoot wood, all the way to the top, where he froze again. Tied to the top of the guitar, with a tiny golden string, was a ring. 

Mickey, almost having a heart attack, turned quickly, seeing Ian already on one knee. Andra had started crying, much like Mickey was about to, and the others were smiling widely. Mickey slowly slid the guitar to the side, dropping to his knees in front of his boyfriend.

“Be with me for the long haul?” Ian grinned, the nerves obviously in every inch of him. Mickey nodded, a finality after all they’d been through together. 

“Yes.”


End file.
